<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>How Deep Is Your Love by Eclipsada</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27788044">How Deep Is Your Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eclipsada/pseuds/Eclipsada'>Eclipsada</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ONEUS (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Asexuality Spectrum, Dialogue Heavy, Established Relationship, Fluff, HYUNG LINE Y'ALL, I try, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Polyamory Negotiations, Slow Burn, Smut, Unbeta'ed, Voyeurism, kind of funny?, please read author's note!, so many feelings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:28:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>39,655</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27788044</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eclipsada/pseuds/Eclipsada</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngjo can see it, the way Seoho leans away from his touch, all tense muscles and fabricated smiles. And though the love in his eyes hasn’t diminished, Youngjo knows it’s just a matter of time before Seoho guilt trips himself into leaving him. </p><p>Enter Kim Geonhak, homme fatale and model extraordinaire- and, perhaps, their only chance at getting this right.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Kim Youngjo | Ravn, Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Lee Seoho, Kim Youngjo | Ravn/Lee Seoho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>91</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>197</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello pEEPS &lt;3 I KNOW not many of you are into poly but mAYBE give it a go if ur into seodo/seojo because there are a bunch of moments you might enjoy (sad puppy face pretty please?) </p><p>KAY SO I'm back with this because I have bad news if you were reading “A work of art” i'm sorry to say that I LOST MY FILES bcs of... pff technology. And i dont wanna redo all the writing, so for now it’ll remain unfinished. (Believe me, I’m more disappointed than you are, BUT I have learnt my lesson) So here, to compensate, have established relationship seojo with with tinges of poly and seodo smut, with like… SO many feelings, like you wouldn’t believe, everybody adores each other so much. </p><p>Warnings for what some ppl may consider as internalized acephobia? I go deep into rship issues and some ugly things are bound to come out, but it's all solved lovingly I promise. Also this is a mature fic. SO IT HAS LIKE mature and explciit stuff yaknow? whispers its unbeta'ed- ANYWAYS enjoy &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Youngjo doesn’t know why he sends the message.<br/>
<br/>
In truth, Youngjo doesn’t even know why he kept Geonhak’s number all these years- or kept him in all his social networks for that matter. But that’s who Youngjo is, he thinks. Overly caring, attached, fond to a fault. He feels and feels deeply, probably more than anyone else he knows, and it’s a part of himself Youngjo has worked- long and hard- to live with.<br/>
<br/>
But it’s not just that that has him staring at the screen of his phone, the mild regret of reaching out so suddenly stirring memories of reckless affections and those poorly controlled impulses that shaped him to be the man he is today- No, it’s not just that.<br/>
<br/>
It’s not so much about himself than it is about Geonhak and the man <em> he </em> is today. The pictures that showcase a costly lifestyle, luxurious hotels, several shots of plane windows, and more than one or two famous faces. Youngjo never misses the way Geonhak poses in just the right way to let his followers have just the right glimpse at the brands he’s wearing- as if by accident. But Youngjo knows better, knows all the tricks models have under their designer sleeves thanks to his experience in his line of work.<br/>
<br/>
So when he presses <em> send </em>the last thing he expects is to be met with such a swift, earnest reply that steals a smile from him and has his heart stuttering in delight. But then again, Youngjo thinks, that’s who Geonhak is. Loyal, true and fond to a fault. </p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
<em> Hi, Geonhak! <br/>
</em> <em> Just saw you were back in town… </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> Are you staying for long? <br/>
</em> <em> We could catch up. </em> <em><br/>
<br/>
</em></p>
<p><em> Hey stranger </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> i'd love to <br/>
</em> <em> kinda swamped this week but I’m good for next one </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> That’s great! I was worried you’d be too busy to even reply. </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> So I can work with this </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Never too busy for you<br/>
</em> <em> glad you messaged, youngjo                    what prompted this tho?  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>The question unsettles him- many things about the message unsettle him actually, like how he’d wildly forgotten about Geonhak’s flirtatious nature. But he refuses to think about it, at risk of getting sidetracked by feelings he’s long buried by now. There’s a much more pressing issue at hand- what to reply, that is- or rather, how much of a liar is he gonna be? Which is really a question of how much guilt his consciousness can handle- none, none at all, it’s really his biggest flaw. But in all honesty, he can’t exactly come up to Geonhak- distanced best friend and former lover-  after years of radio silence and be like <em> hey dude, long time no see, I actually need help with my love life? And I figured you’d be okay with it since you used to be such a fuckboy in college- </em> yeah, no. Especially with the way they left things after graduation. But then again, that was kind of <em> Geonhak’s </em> fault and Youngjo shouldn’t be such a bleeding heart about this, they’ve been through enough that asking for this isn’t a big deal for them. But telling him the total truth would entail questions he isn’t willing to reply right now.<br/>
<br/>
He can already envision it, the way his fingers would cramp up trying to explain the situation to Geonhak, who always loved to have all the deep conversations via text: <em> No, Geonhak, he hasn’t cheated and he won’t either because I know for a fact he’s more of a bleeding heart than I am. No, he’s never pressured me into anything and he never will. He’d never do anything to guilt me into doing something I don’t want- I’m doing this for him. Because I feel him recoil whenever I touch him, I know he does his best to avoid looking at me when I take my shirt off, the way he keeps his kisses chaste- and I know how he sneaks off in the mornings to take suspiciously long showers despite the fact that he’s all about saving water and doing his best for the environment. He’s a sweetheart, really, but I’m losing him and you’re the only one I trust to fix this for us. </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em>No. Geonhak doesn’t need to know all this- or at least, not yet. But Youngjo knows Geonhak meant it when he said all those years ago that he’d do anything to make him happy- and so, Youngjo gathers his courage and types the truth- or part of it, just enough not to give Geonhak the wrong idea. </p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p><em><br/>
</em> <em> Well </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> I met someone... </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> His name is Seoho </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> And I think you’ll like him  </em></p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Can’t wait to meet him  </em>
</p>
<p><em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<b>...</b> <b><br/>
<br/>
</b></p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s not like Seoho is doing this <em> on purpose. </em> Most of the times his body reacts before he can fully comprehend what’s happening around him. Which makes no sense because biology specifically explicits the stimulus-response order of nature and Seoho’s body is not about to be the biggest exception to one of the most well-known laws of nature.<br/>
<br/>
Maybe his brain is just weird- but that wouldn’t exactly be news to him, all things considered. Seoho has never been on the <em> normal </em> side of anything in his life. And though generally he would criticise everything about such stigmatizing labels like <em> normal </em> or <em> weird </em> , and expose them as the social constructs they are at the service of social control… he kind of thinks it’s a fair assumption about himself.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho’s <em> peculiarity </em> can be traced back to his most tender years when- while all of his classmates were too busy playing catch at the playground, Seoho found himself fascinated by the little insects hiding through the green grass, coming up with the most intricate names and all sorts of theories about their lifestyles, determined by the size of their bodies, the amount of legs they possessed and how friendly they appeared to be- the amount of stings he got back then wasn’t enough to discourage him from his insatiable thirst for knowledge, which accompanied him all throughout his childhood. Insects were replaced by dinosaurs, dinosaurs by the universe, the universe by anatomy and- well, the cycle was endless. Growing up, Seoho stayed true to his quirky self, which caused his puberty to <em> royally suck, </em> if he says so himself.<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Seoho thinks things started to change during his first or second year of college, about that age where people start minding their damn business and getting good grades is a sign of distinction among students instead of shame. It implies, naturally, that the person in question <em> totally </em> has his life together, how else would they stay on top of their workload while balancing the social demands of life on campus? (It would be fair to clarify that, despite his astounding grades, Seoho did <em> not </em> , have his life together) <br/>
<br/>
But things changed, and he means <em> really </em> changed, the day he met Kim Youngjo.<br/>
<br/>
Going back on it, he should have known that there was no way Youngjo wouldn’t have a peculiarity of his. It was just not possible for Seoho to have found a financially stable, breathtakingly handsome man who could charm anyone off with a single smile as if by accident. A man so gentle and patient and caring that didn’t run off at the first, second or eleventh time Seoho went on a rampage about his ludicrous hobbies and, instead, encouraged him on them. It was just illogical, given his record, that Seoho would enter in his ideal of a perfectly mundane stereotypical relationship filled with mutual love, great fashion taste, plenty of great sex and bad cooking.<br/>
<br/>
So when Youngjo sat him down on their like fifth date and told him what Seoho remembers as <em> Hey, I like you a lot, but I’m actually asexual and I’ll never even look at your lips, let alone your dick </em> (though Youngjo insists it was different) he doesn’t know why he felt crushed. Admittedly, it wasn’t his proudest moment. But after Hwanwoong was nice enough to yell some sense into him as he tipsily cried into his lap, Youngjo was merciful enough to take him back into his arms, eager and full of love and shushes for Seoho’s endless apologies.<br/>
<br/>
Turns out, their relationship ended up to be pretty much what Seoho had expected his ideal of a perfectly mundane stereotypical relationship to be - except for the sex part, naturally. But kisses weren’t lacking, thank god- and neither was love.<br/>
<br/>
So, a year and a half in, Seoho just knows there’s no way he’s doing this on purpose, not with Youngjo.<br/>
<br/>
“All good?” Youngjo asks knowingly, as Seoho subtly breaks away from his embrace for the second time today.<br/>
<br/>
“Yep.” Seoho replies, noncommittal, focusing on perfecting his new omelette recipe- because Seoho was not born to be a mindless follower in life- <em> no sir - </em> and so, he refuses to let a piece of paper dictate his actions over the next twenty minutes, thank you very much.  And yet, no matter how well trained he is in the art of schooling his expression into a pure casual one, he can still feel the burn of Youngjo’s arms around him- and the way Youngjo catches his throat bob is not lost on him.<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>“Okay.” Seoho hears his boyfriend’s quiet voice from behind him. It sounds… off, almost cautious and way too close- Youngjo’s ever warm presence, towering over him until Seoho can’t help but choke a distressed noise in the back of his throat. It’s so painfully obvious he has to push away again to go whip on the eggs for the third time- so much so, he thinks the consistency has lowkey reached meringue levels. It makes Youngjo snort, the asshole, who seems to have so much power over him lately, Seoho’s on a personal mission to stay as unaffected as possible- he’s failing. Miserably so.<br/>
<br/>
“That didn’t sound like it’s all good… You push me away every time I try to hug you.”<br/>
<br/>
“I’m just hot.” He excuses himself poorly. So poorly.<br/>
<br/>
“No wonder with all the whisking you’re doing- baby.” Youngjo’s big hands stop his gently, and Seoho’s forced to look up into the most tender, earnest pair of honey brown eyes that melt him inside out. “It’s winter.” His boyfriend points out, his voice soothing some of the skittering nerves that feel like electricity where their skins meet. He’s always particularly loved Youngjo’s big, elegant hands, the way they cover his almost completely- and all the impossible scenarios Seoho’s traitor, horny mind has conjured featuring them all over his naked body.<br/>
<br/>
“Well, I run hot.”<br/>
<br/>
“No, you don’t. You always steal my coats when we go out.” Youngjo counters, bemused in a way Seoho can’t even be mad at. “Seoho… you’ve been like this since we moved in together, you’re…”<br/>
<br/>
<em> Distant, cold, elusive, out of reach </em> .<br/>
<br/>
Youngjo doesn’t have to voice the words for Seoho to know what he means. Even more so, they both know <em> why </em> , though they’ve kept a mutual, silent agreement not to bring it up- silent agreement that Youngjo destroyed, mercilessly so, because he just can’t stop himself from being a concerned little loving idiot. God, Seoho won’t ever find better than him.<br/>
<br/>
“Your apartment is hot.” He croaks out, a desperate last attempt at wriggling away from the whole ordeal that Youngjo ruins with a single arched eyebrow.<br/>
<br/>
“ <em> Our </em> apartment. Seoho, we really need to talk about this someday-”<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t- I don’t wanna talk about it, okay? Because if we talk about it, I’ll think about it and then it won’t go away-”<br/>
<br/>
“Baby, you know that’s not how it works-”<br/>
<br/>
“Pff, what do you know?” Seoho mumbles in a childish fashion that entices a warm reaction in Youngjo, one that makes him feel small and way younger than he is. He feels safe - but it comes with that underlying sense of vulnerability that threatens to shatter all sense of self confidence he has. So when his boyfriend hugs him from behind, holding him so lovingly Seoho feels like Youngjo’s most precious possession, he closes his eyes and lets him.<br/>
<br/>
“I did mean it when I said we could explore other options that don’t involve all this sacrifice from you-”<br/>
<br/>
“It’s not- It’s not a sacrifice.” Seoho corrects, adamant, because he knows Youngjo too well by now to understand that as confident as Youngjo may seem in his sexuality, he can never quite get rid of the feeling that he’s asking too much. Youngjo looks at him with a tenderness and disbelief- like he can’t feel happy enough that Seoho hasn’t left him yet, and it breaks Seoho’s heart that Youngjo won’t understand that he deserves this respect, this full acceptance, and more.</p>
<p> “Okay, listen.” Seoho starts, set on making things right. He pulls away and turns off the stove before they get gas intoxication for being two lovesick fools. “I may be just a tiiiny bit honry and pent up- like minimally.” Youngjo’s expression implies that he doesn’t believe that for a single second, but Seoho’s not about to fight him on this and lose. “Big deal! I’ll probably just get over it once I get used to having you around pa-parading in your- your underwear and shit- also can you not? Do that I mean. Just be dressed. Fully dressed.” Seoho’s voice goes high in the end, and he hates himself for it- hates Youngjo too for not even making fun of his inner struggles, even though he could and totally should. A late twenty years old behaving like he’s on a hormonal rampage? That’s pretty sad. Heck, Seoho would even mock himself if he wasn’t <em> too busy suffering through it. </em><br/>
<br/>
“Seoho-” Youngjo tries to reach out, getting a little slap on his hand that makes him laugh.<br/>
<br/>
“No, let me finish. Anyways. Yes, I <em> may </em> be horny, but I’m an adult god damn it, I can deal with this in a way that doesn’t involve going to some stranger behind your back-”<br/>
<br/>
“Oh my god, baby, I wasn’t implying that!” Youngjo laughs and is swift to pull him close by the edge of his apron to plant a fond, chaste kiss on his lips. “It wouldn’t be just anyone- and… it doesn’t need to be behind my back either.” He adds, the slightest bit of timidity slipping through- and Seoho’s glad, in a way, that he isn’t the only one suffering this conversation.<br/>
<br/>
“It doesn’t?” Seoho asks, still feeling Youngjo’s minty breath caress his face as he struggles to control his impulses to slam his boyfriend back into the counter and kiss him silly.<br/>
<br/>
Youngjo shakes his head quietly, running a hand through Seoho’s dry hair in slight disapproval that he probably isn’t using the fancy conditioner he brought him after he dyed it red last month. “Mhh no, we could find someone and- I could be there.”<br/>
<br/>
It’s not the first time Youngjo has implied that. The fact that, although unwilling to participate in anything beyond kissing and <em> maybe </em> some touching, should he be in the right mood, he’s not adverse to watching, listening. He’s even mentioned he finds it enjoyable- if the time is right. And yet, it feels like a commotion inside him. It hits Seoho like a train of feelings, the mere image so difficult to process he feels his body burn for a second, knees growing weaker and weaker until he’s got his whole weight hanging from Youngjo’s broad shoulders, where his arms are holding on for dear life.<br/>
<br/>
He swallows drily, searches in Youngjo’s face for any trace of amusement- the sign that this is all an impossibly mean, elaborate prank that he’s pulling on him to punish Seoho for being a hopeless bag of jumpy, horny hormones. But there’s none- Youngjo looks as serious as he can be- which admittedly isn’t much, but Seoho knows him well enough to understand his boyfriend means each and every of his words.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho doesn’t know whether this is a blessing or a curse.<br/>
<br/>
Or it’s both- and Seoho’s a mere mortal, too weak for such a divine test that whoever deity has decided to put him through to amuse themselves as he suffers.<br/>
<br/>
“Nope. I can’t deal with this.” Seoho blurts as he pushes Youngjo away and stomps to the bathroom, tugging at his apron and throwing it somewhere on the way out of pure exasperation.<br/>
<br/>
“Seoho! Oh my god, you’re being such a child-”<br/>
<br/>
“ <em> Good. </em> You’re the adult in this relationship.” Seoho calls as soon as he slams the door shut and immediately turns on the shower- a failed attempt at tuning out more of his boyfriend’s protests.<br/>
<br/>
“You can’t just live on handjobs until you die!”<br/>
<br/>
“Watch me!” Seoho yells- and in the haste of getting his clothes off, he doesn’t notice the implications that to Youngjo, they’re endgame.<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p><br/>
<b>...</b> <b><br/>
<br/>
</b></p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
The <em> kitchen fiasco </em> as Seoho has mentally baptized it, is thankfully left forgotten for the next few days, leaving Seoho to (un)happily continue with his ‘Avoid Thirsting for My Boyfriend’ agenda- with various degrees of success and failure.<br/>
<br/>
It’s not really until a week later, at the end of a long afternoon shift at the pharmacy that Seoho buys a bottle of wine on his way home without even thinking about it. He stares at the bottle in front of the closed door of their apartment with an amount of resignation that fancy grape juice doesn’t warrant- but it runs deeper than that. It always does.<br/>
<br/>
Before he deigns himself to open the door- knowing Youngjo has most likely burnt their dinner by the smell and has now bought them both overpriced takeout to compensate- Seoho reminds himself that he’s only a mere mortal man. He tells himself that his needs, embarrassing or not, are just as valid as anyone else’s. And perhaps he kind of deserves this, after what seemed like an endless week at work. Just hours and hours of old ladies who forget their glasses and bring the wrong prescriptions, insulting customers blaming him for their ill-intentioned health insurance’s inner conflicts and hypochondriacs hoarding meds to the point where they were forced to call the police due to protocol.<br/>
<br/>
So when he finally opens the door and sees Youngjo there, organizing the takeout boxes on the table so that they look pretty, Seoho can only smile and joke about <em> what a good cook he is </em> , alleviating some of the tight anxious knot he feels in his stomach.<br/>
<br/>
They eat, they drink, and it’s nice, it’s pleasant. Yet, even though Youngjo should be enough for him, Seoho can’t help but feel the familiar itch for more.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho can't deny he loves it when he gets Youngjo to drink with him, the way alcohol runs straight to his boyfriend's head and his cheeks tint a telltale pink- Seoho's current favourite color. He loves it when inhibitions release Youngjo for a bit, just a bit- if only to get kissed the way he wants to be kissed- No. The way he <em> deserves </em> to be kissed.</p>
<p>Two drinks are enough for Youngjo's eyes to cloud with a rare hunger that thrills Seoho to his very core. And he doesn't have to do much- if fact, sometimes his parted lips are just enough for the tension in the air to make Youngjo snap and pounce onto him. </p>
<p>And Seoho gets kissed- he means <em> really </em> gets kissed. </p>
<p>It's not one of those loving slide of lips that he used to enjoy so much during their first months together- nor the playful little pecks with cute daring nibs Youngjo gives him when he's feeling particularly content- it's not like the chaste, romantic kisses that Seoho gets for special occasions either, no- the ones that make his breath hitch and his heart skip a beat. </p>
<p>Seoho gets kissed like he's the air Youngjo breathes. He gets kissed like Youngjo's thirsty for him- like he's ready to drink him whole. He gets kissed like he's owned, like he's wanted and needed- Youngjo kisses him like he wants to strip him of his clothes and have him whole, a hand in his hair pushing him in as he's trapped between the couch and his body, little moans that pour out of his mouth doing nothing but driving Youngjo further and further until- </p>
<p>Until the spell is broken. Youngjo never does much more than kiss him on the neck- bite him if he's lucky. And Seoho's left with the dreaded disappointment hanging heavy and low on his chest. </p>
<p>He feels disgusting as he takes care of himself in the shower- his lightweight boyfriend already sleeping his tipsiness off. Seoho thinks about him as he does a quick, almost clínical work out of getting himself off. He thinks about his hands and the way they held for a moment onto his hips, the feeling of their bodies pressed close and tight together while Youngjo lips devoured his sounds of pleasure. He imagines what it would be like had he continued- if Youngjo suddenly took his shirt off and turned Seoho on his stomach- right there and then on the couch, not even giving him time to breathe as he pulled his pants down along with his boxers and- </p>
<p>It doesn't take long for him to come. And yet Seoho remains under the spray. He stays there up until the water runs cold and his lips tremble- dreading the moment he has to get into bed. Because he knows how Youngjo will roll up to him half asleep, spooning him automatically as if it were a pavlovian response to Seoho's proximity. </p>
<p>He sits on the edge of the tub wrapped in a fluffy towel- that one Youngjo insisted on buying despite the ridiculous price tag- and pretends like the droplets running down his cheeks are coming from his soaked hair. </p>
<p>Disgust is the least he should feel, he thinks. </p>
<p>Youngjo has been nothing but loving and caring and understanding- so very patient with him. He's got a heart of gold and all he's done is offer it to him on a plate from day one. </p>
<p>All he asks in return is for Seoho to accept him as he is. </p>
<p>And here he is, buying a bottle of wine with the only purpose of getting his boyfriend tipsy with the hopes of getting groped a little. </p>
<p>Pathetic is one of the nicer words that come to his head at the moment. </p>
<p>He hates himself for being like this, for doing this to Youngjo. Because even after all this time, after all they've been through, Seoho still hopes, somewhere deep inside him that Youngjo will change- something in him still expects that one day Youngjo will kiss him and undress him and <em> touch </em>him in the way Seoho wants to be touched. He still hopes that Youngjo will bare himself for his eyes and allow Seoho to feel him like no one else has before. </p>
<p>And yet every day Seoho goes to sleep untouched, dressed, clean and unsated. And every morning he'll wake up and smile- <em> everything is okay, </em>he'll lie, knowing Youngjo can see right through him and still Seoho fails him in every way. </p>
<p>Youngjo deserves better, Seoho thinks.</p>
<p>He's just so selfish, he doesn't have it in himself to step aside for Youngjo to find the right one for him. </p>
<p>Because that can't be Seoho. It cannot be him- no matter how much he wants to be.<br/>
<br/>
“You should find someone for me.” Seoho mumbles as sleep threatens to take him away any second now, heated up to the point of it almost being suffocating. But after this long, he’s gotten used to it. Seoho doesn’t think he could ever fall asleep without Youngjo’s warmth now.<br/>
<br/>
The words are uttered so lowly, they get lost in the silence of the room. Seoho almost wants them to be missed, to blend into the air like he’s never uttered them. But Youngjo’s a light sleeper, and his quiet nature has always made him keen for this type of things.<br/>
<br/>
His boyfriend stirs behind him and Seoho squeezes his eyes shut, already regretting his post emotional tipsy orgasm’s outburst of sincerity.<br/>
<br/>
“You mean it?” The whispered words soften him up and he nods against the pillow.<br/>
<br/>
“I trust you.” A pause. “You have good taste.”<br/>
<br/>
Youngjo chuckles, and the heaviness Seoho has gotten used to carrying around these days lightens just enough for him to smile- and mean it. </p>
<p><br/>
<b>...</b>
</p>
<p><br/>
“You’re sure?” Hwanwoong’s voice-  friend and coworker-  reaches him as he pats blindly inside his backpack for his keys, phone precariously held between his cheek and shoulder while he walks to his building.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah, they completely messed up the shipment-  I filled in an online complaint already because their stupid help line isn’t working. Also Yonghoon isn’t replying to my calls- so much for “manager of the month”. Listen, you’ll have to call Mr. Oh and tell him to get his meds at other branch because he can’t interrupt the treatment not even for a day- and do it now because I’m pretty sure he goes to sleep like super early because he’s like <em> ancient-” </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> “Yeah, yeah, don’t worry, I know the drill. Just chill man, you’re off work already.” Hwanwoong chuckles quietly, sounding like he’s chewing gum despite being told repeatedly not to. “Haven’t been here for fifteen minutes and already wanna be home. I envy you.”<br/>
<br/>
“Pff, don’t.” Seoho says, making a little sound of victory once he’s finally found his keys. "Being home is not that great."<br/>
<br/>
“Uh- oh. That sounds like couples drama. All good in the little love nest there, Lee?”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho sighs, leaning against the wall of his building as he mentally chastises himself for being such an open book- <em> even through the damn phone. </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> “It’s just- It’s been a couple weeks since Youngjo and I talked about the- the <em> thing.” </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> “Oh! The whole cuckolding thing with voyeuristic undertones?”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho sputters, looking around scandalised as if any of the uninterested bypasser could have possibly heard any of it. “Shhhhh, be quiet- Woong, what the <em> hell, </em> it’s not like that!”<br/>
<br/>
Hwanwoong, the little demon, doesn’t even try to hide his cackle of amusement at his distressed outburst of shame, and god Seoho really does hope Jin Yonghoon decides to show up early for once and put Hwanwoong on administrative duty for the rest of the month so that he bores himself to death for being improper during work hours.<br/>
<br/>
“Dude, I’m living for this, you don’t understand how your sexual frustration has been my only source of happiness for this last month.”<br/>
<br/>
“Ok, first of all- that’s really sad. Second, I’m never telling you anything ever again.” Seoho grumbles, fidgeting with the keys in his hand as he stares at the cars passing by.<br/>
<br/>
“You don’t have to, one second with your shitty humour and I can immediately tell exactly your level of horny.”</p>
<p>“Shut up.” </p>
<p>“Anyways, what’s up with the Kim- Lee household? Has he found someone yet?”<br/>
<br/>
“That’s the thing!” Seoho whines, puffing out his cheeks as he tries to ignore the urge to slide onto the floor like a kid and throw a tantrum. “He hasn’t told me anything and I’m too afraid to ask- what if he forgot? Or maybe he regrets having offered, I don’t know. I’m thinking maybe that’d be good? Like, I’m feeling better lately, I think just talking it out might have been enough and-”<br/>
<br/>
“Seoho- listen, as much as I love hearing you suffer-” Lovely, isn’t he? “I think you’re just wildly overthinking this. Youngjo would have told you if he’d changed his mind, he doesn’t really keep things to himself- that’d be you, actually.”<br/>
<br/>
“Uncalled for.”<br/>
<br/>
”- <em> Soo </em> maybe just learn from your highly emotionally intelligent boyfriend and <em> talk. to. him.</em>”<br/>
<br/>
It’s things like these that remind Seoho that, for all the pain that he makes him go through, Hwanwoong is a friend worth keeping.<br/>
<br/>
“Pff… yeah, whatever.” Seoho shrugs, unwilling to accept defeat so easily nonetheless and recoils at the sound of Hwanwoong’s smug little hum, like nails scratching down a board.<br/>
<br/>
Hwanwoong has to hang up the moment a customer enters the pharmacy- Seoho can tell by the sound of the door chiming in the background, all too familiar by now. He does manage to sneak a promise to call Mr. Oh as soon as he can then the call’s over, leaving Seoho to gather his pitiful, immature emotional courage on his own while the nosy doorman peers at him unsubtly.<br/>
<br/>
So Seoho walks up the stairs to his floor- to sneak in a bit of exercise in his idle routine. He steps to the door of his apartment with a determination that would make Hwanwoong proud. But as it turns out, life works in funny ways-  more so in Seoho’s case, who seems to be Universe’s favourite plaything lately- and he hears the sound of muffled laughter, sending all his superficial bravery and conviction flying across the hallway like a flailing, deflating balloon of disappointment.<br/>
<br/>
Because it’s not just the sound of Youngjo that reaches his ears- so familiar to him by now Seoho can replay it in his mind like a soothing melody.</p>
<p>There’s someone else.</p>
<p><em> “Someone” </em> happens to sound like a man, a man he doesn’t know, and Seoho’s heart drops to the floor as he scrambles to open the door in a hurry, an incomprehensible pressure of insecurities that make him anxious to see Youngjo. They urge him to open the door in a flash, only to blank out the second he steps foot inside.<br/>
<br/>
It’s white noise, ringing in his ear as he lets his bag fall onto the floor and steps with wary curiosity inside the apartment. Seoho doesn’t know why his heart seems to be racing and innocently decides to blame it on the stairs. He’s <em> almost </em> tempted to walk out and ignore this whole thing, but a voice in his mind- who sounds suspiciously like Hwanwoong’s, orders him to keep going.<br/>
<br/>
The laughs are coming from the kitchen, forging a little frown on Seoho’s face. It cannot be someone from Youngjo’s freelance team then, since he would receive them in his makeshift studio. Youngjo bringing people home to begin with? That 's weird. Youngjo’s so private about his personal places, his things, his work, it took months for Seoho to see what this apartment looked like. Even now, Seoho knows few to none of his friends despite Youngjo’s friendly nature, since he’s always adamant on meeting them outside. </p>
<p>“Youngjo? I’m home.” Seoho calls out a second before entering the kitchen, afraid of what he might find, for reasons he doesn’t understand. Something doesn’t sit well with him, something he can’t figure out, something…<br/>
<br/>
And then he sees him.<br/>
<br/>
It’s a flash of white and blonde hair. </p>
<p>It’s a tall, imponent figure with a million dollar smile that’s casually leaning back on the counter, his strong looking arms folded over an enviable broad chest. There’s a general feeling that surrounds him, something so poised, it’s as if he owned the place- instead of looking like the invader he happens to be. </p>
<p>And Seoho, who’s used to seeing nice designer clothes and perfect bodily proportions by now - courtesy of his boyfriend- still can’t help but feel slightly inadequate. It’s the way he’s dressed, expensive looking tight jeans that highlight his strong legs and a white tee that has no business leaving nothing to the imagination, constricting and see-through in all the right places. Or maybe it’s just <em> him</em>, the way he looks like he’s one of the models in Youngjo’s advertisements- those he spends so long designing and end up making Seoho feel insecure by comparison.</p>
<p>But Seoho doesn’t have time to ponder for long because deep brown eyes framed by perfectly sculpted eyebrows meet his own for a single moment, making Seoho tense up by the door- unsettled with the way his whole body runs hot for a fraction of second.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho decides right there and then that he doesn't like him, whoever this man is. He doesn't like him one bit.<br/>
<br/>
Much less if he’s making Youngjo laugh this much. He likes him <em> even less </em>when Seoho sees how delighted Youngjo looks as he walks over him and pecks Seoho on the lips in greeting, ignoring his face of confusion and light betrayal- masked by badly acted disdain. </p>
<p>"Hi, baby. You came home early-" Youngjo greets, and it's not the tone of someone who has been caught red handed. Instead, it's said with carefree excitement that puts all of Seoho's defense mechanisms to a halt. Youngjo gets behind him and runs his large hands down his arms soothingly, making him melt back against his chest as he cannot help but relax, eyes still fixed on the foreign presence. "This is Kim Geonhak. I think I told you about him, do you recall? We've been friends since forever." </p>
<p>Said <em> Kim Geonhak </em> happens to be looking at him as if he were studying him, as though Seoho was the most peculiar little thing he has ever encountered, and Seoho doesn't like the way it makes him feel- almost exposed. So he busies himself by continuing his casual research of the invader in his kitchen.</p>
<p>He notices the expensive watch that frames his wrist so perfectly- the way his hair is gelled back <em>almost</em> perfectly, little strands falling here and there with measured levels of neglect. It’s torture, really, when all Seoho can think about is how messed up his own hair must be after a full shift at work- how dull his skin must look with how tired he is, while <em> his </em>looks fresh and spotless- is he wearing concealer? </p>
<p>"Ah, I don't remember you ever mentioning him-" Seoho lies swiftly, not finding it in himself to smile for politeness purposes, even to soften the little apathetic mean blow he just landed. He does remember the name <em>Kim Geonhak </em>being mentioned. But then again, so many were mentioned, what is it about him that's so special? </p>
<p>But as he feels a little reprimanding squeeze from Youngjo, their one-sided guest seems completely unbothered by his words. </p>
<p>"That's on me. Been out of town for a while." The usurper suddenly speaks, and he stretches his hand- hand that Seoho shakes, reluctantly. A strong little shake that makes his hand tingle with the weight of it for moments afterwards. </p>
<p>"Trip?" </p>
<p>"Had a contract abroad." Geonhak clarifies with the exact air of superiority one would expect from someone with a <em> contract abroad</em>, as if that gave him a share of distinction among others. </p>
<p>Geonhak says little, probably expecting to be asked-and Seoho would love to ruin his little ego boosting game, spoil that pretentious aura that surrounds him and yet-</p>
<p><em>And yet</em> his boyfriend is still very much behind him, so he keeps his sass in check. Just for him. Seoho indulges the man- <em> not because he’s curious, </em>no.  He's just being forced by the demands of boyfriend decency. </p>
<p>"Oh? What do you do?" He opts to ask, hoping to convey all the nonchalance he doesn't have. </p>
<p>"Modelling, mostly." Geonhak shrugs in reply, as if it wasn’t a big deal. But it is, it’s a <em> huge </em> deal- if Seoho's self-esteem has anything to say about it. His mind seems to flip on him as he subconsciously leans back further into Youngjo's embrace. </p>
<p>Well fuck. He should have left when he had the chance. </p>
<p>“Really?” He croaks out before he can tell himself to be quiet. Pink tints his cheeks at his obvious little voice crack, and he clears his throat as a bad cover up job, wishing he could turn in Youngjo’s arms and groan against his chest.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah, well. Not for much longer actually.” The reply sparks curiosity in Seoho, but his boyfriend replies his unanswered questions before he can fall into Geonhak’s little trap to get Seoho hooked in his life- which he might already be.<br/>
<br/>
“Geonhak is moving back in town and he’s thinking about opening a dance academy. He asked me to take care of the design and advertisement so you’ll be seeing a lot of him over the next few weeks.” Hands rub up and down his arms and Seoho internally prays that Youngjo doesn’t notice the telltale tension that overtakes his body.<br/>
<br/>
“Hope you don’t mind.” Geonhak smiles slightly, but it looks fabricated and provoking. “I’ll be keeping him busy.”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho's jaw clenches when all he can hear is an obvious sexual innuendo being screamed into his ears. “Not at all." He smiles through gritted teeth, as fake as it gets."I’m glad Youngjo will have company while I’m at work-”<br/>
<br/>
“You work at a pharmacy, right?” The trespasser asks and Seoho’s surprise must be clear in his eyes because Geonhak lets out a chuckle and motions vaguely. “Youngjo talks a lot about you.”<br/>
<br/>
“Can’t help it.” Seoho feels Youngjo shrug behind him.<br/>
<br/>
“You’re still a sap, I see.” Geonhak comments with overflowing fondness in his voice, and suddenly Seoho feels like the intruder, an ugly feeling crawling up his chest.<br/>
<br/>
“Uh- yeah. I’m sure you guys have a lot to catch up on- I’ll leave you to it, I’m actually really tired so-”<br/>
<br/>
“Oh… I was actually hoping you could entertain Geonhak for a bit while I finish gathering some references? I’ve been so busy with yesterday’s deadlines I couldn’t take a look at your stuff yet, I’m sorry.” Youngjo talks, first to him and then to Geonhak. He’s always been so good at that- shifting his attention so easily, making sure everybody has his fair share of consideration so that no one is left out. On the other hand, Seoho has always been bad at juggling more than one person talking to him, so easily overwhelmed. He doesn’t know how he copes on his shifts sometimes.<br/>
<br/>
“That’s fine by me.” Geonhak replies, pleasantly. If Seoho knew better, he’d think he’s actually not bothered at all about spending time with his long time no see best friend’s awkward boyfriend.<br/>
<br/>
“Do you mind, baby?” Youngjo asks, shifting over Seoho’s side without letting go so he can look at his face. God he’s so considerate Seoho wants to scream. How can he say no, now?<br/>
<br/>
“...No.” He says, a bit lost in the meaningful look Youngjo gives him and then it dawns on him, as Youngjo’s eyes shift to Geonhak’s.<br/>
<br/>
Geonhak’s not just a client, or a distant best friend seeking to reconnect. No. <br/>
<br/>
Geonhak is Youngjo’s pick.<br/>
<br/>
Geonhak, with those fierce eyes, earth-shatteringly deep voice and body to die for- he’s not challenging Seoho. He’s not here to take what belongs to him- Geonhak’s here for <em> him.</em> </p>
<p>He's <em> flirting. </em> <em><br/>
</em><br/>
Seoho doesn’t know what to do with the flare of burning heat that takes over his body for a moment. </p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
...<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That's the first time Seoho meets Kim Geonhak. </p>
<p><br/>
And Seoho finds that once he manages to lower down his defenses, slightly toy with the most minimal possibility that Geonhak isn’t a threatening presence, he finds that… it’s strangely okay.<br/>
<br/>
Youngjo leaves them after embarrassing Seoho by exposing him to his taste for video games. But much to Seoho's surprise, Geonhak doesn't laugh nor makes a show of haughtiness out of what Seoho considers rather immature tastes- instead, he displays an unexpected look of excitement at the prospect of spending the next hour sitting on a couch with Seoho. </p>
<p>It's unsettling. Everything about this situation is unsettling, and he feels like an automat, walking to his living room with Geonhak following close behind him like an overpowering presence. </p>
<p>Seoho chooses mario kart, because it’s the safest option. And also probably because it's the only game that he trusts himself to excel at at this point of his life- after all, he’s a grown ass man with a full time job. A grown ass man whose boyfriend would much rather read books and work on his digital art in his free time because he’s too perfect to be real and Seoho resents him for it. <br/>
<br/>
Geonhak doesn’t comment on his choice and instead decides to sit excruciatingly close to him, shoulders touching in a way Seoho finds awfully distracting.<br/>
<br/>
And Geonhak really must be doing this on purpose, he thinks, once he gets a whiff of Geonhak’s irresistible cologne. The type of cologne that used to make Seoho fall for whatever man he had in front of him back in college.<br/>
<br/>
But while his heart threatens to leap out of his chest, he doesn’t know whether it’s the attraction, the all- consuming guilt of feeling slightly attracted to a not- Youngjo or the competitiveness what makes him so angry he almost throws the controller against the screen.<br/>
<br/>
“Wow, and I thought I sucked at this.” Geonhak laughs at him after a second round of humiliating Seoho so hard he doesn’t even try to hide it, leaning all the way against the couch and throwing his head back to groan at the ceiling.<br/>
<br/>
“You do. I’m just tired.” Seoho mumbles as they get ready for another race.</p>
<p>"Sounds like a bad excuse." Geonhak's smugness sends a rush of annoyance all over his body, so infuriating he's tempted to stand up and walk out on him. </p>
<p>But alas, he's an adult. And as such there are social rules he must follow- rules he cannot avoid. So Seoho does what an adult would do and restors to passive-agressiveness instead. </p>
<p>“Some of us work eight hours a day you know…” He snaps and immediately regrets it the second the words float into the air.<br/>
<br/>
But much to his surprise, Geonhak snorts, skillfully surpassing Seoho when he’s dumb enough to get off track- again.<br/>
<br/>
“You’re one sore loser, you know?” Geonhak mumbles, doing a sharp little movement that his whole side leaning into Seoho’s for a moment, bodies pushed so close together he can feel the tightness of his muscles. </p>
<p>Seoho's hyperaware, his whole nerves on fire as he does a poor job out of compartmentalizing everything he feels.</p>
<p>“I’m actually never at home. Hotels rarely have these you know- no, no fuck-”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho laughs in delight when he sees Geonhak fall off the course and into the virtual abyss, granting Seoho the advantage he needs to win the race in the end.<br/>
<br/>
They both lean back against the couch as Seoho basks in the small victory, regaining his confidence little by little.<br/>
<br/>
"So… that means you don’t have time to play?” Seoho mumbles quietly, determined to break free from his awkwardness, if only to be a decent human to this man who- for now- hasn't truly done anything to warrant Seoho's bad attitude. <br/>
<br/>
“Rarely have free time in general.” Geonhak corrects, though not unkind.<br/>
<br/>
“Sorry.” Seoho sighs, fumbling with his hands and unwilling to look at Geonhak in the eyes. “Didn’t mean to imply you don’t work or whatever.”<br/>
<br/>
He feels Geonhak shrug next to him. “That’s fine. I get it, you don’t know me. But Youngjo has told me a lot about you- I would feel weird too.”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho swallows, slightly exposed and yet strangely fine with it thanks to the sympathy Geonhak’s words seem to carry.<br/>
<br/>
“I do make a ton out of posing for a camera and- yeah it can be hard work sometimes but… it isn’t meaningful, you know? That’s kinda why I’m quitting. I don’t see the point anymore. And people in the industry… they... they aren’t like you or Youngjo.”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho blinks, taken aback by this sudden moment of intimate conversation. Geonhak seems cold- not the unkind type, no, Seoho understands that now. But he doesn’t look like Youngjo either, with his openness and general warmth that make people smile before they even know him. Geonhak is the type that commands attention when they enter a room, enticing all types of reactions from people who are eager to please a person like him. <br/>
<br/>
“What do you mean they aren't like me or Youngjo?”<br/>
<br/>
Geonhak shrugs, and Seoho has a feeling that he does that a lot- as if it were a suitable replacement for his lack of words. </p>
<p>Silence inevitably fills in, a weird tension that takes over his body again- but this time, it’s unlike anything he’s experienced today. He feels a sense of defeat, as Geonhak’s warmth and cologne disarm him little by little. It makes him close his eyes, mouth agape as he feels the tiredness of the day wash over him. Seoho can sense it though, the disrupting heaviness of Geonhak’s piercing eyes on him- and it disconcerts  him, when he finally understands just how much he’s missed this. </p>
<p>The flirting, the chasing, the <em> wanting </em> .<br/>
<br/>
But Youngjo’s face pops up in his mind- snapping him out of the strange atmosphere that has seeped in.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho clears his throat, unable to cope with the looming anxiety of bringing his relationship to ruins due to an extremely handsome face and a body that melts him with just a glance. But before Seoho can distract himself and prod for answers, Geonhak sits up, big, warm palm resting on top of his thigh and squeezing minutely. It's not like Youngjo's. It's not graceful and poised. It's strong and wide- and it looks like it could do a lot more than a harmless squeeze-<br/>
<br/>
“Let’s play another.” Geonhak states, patting him once and knocking all the air out him.<br/>
<br/>
And as Seoho presses start, he spots the shadow of a smirk tugging at the corner of Geonhak’s mouth- like a mocking confirmation that he's utterly, completely irresistible, and he damn well knows it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>...<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><br/>
They play and play, laughter and curses being thrown deliberately, the heavy weight of Geonhak’s stares sending chills running down his spine. His teasing remarks seem to be aimed exactly at Seoho’s weak spots, and he can’t help but reply with sassy declarations of his own. It seems to amuse Geonhak, who slowly lets go of that air of unapproachable supermodel, looking more and more disheveled with each defeat due to his compulsory habit of running a hand through his hair,  jokingly expressing his offense at Seoho’s sharpest little taunts.<br/>
<br/>
It goes on and on until Youngjo walks back into the room with tired eyes and complains about the loudness.</p>
<p>He gets mostly ignored until Geonhak finally loses- and Seoho feels a childish type of pride at winning right in front Youngjo’s eyes, as if his boyfriend actually cared about such trivialities. </p>
<p>When Youngjo and Geonhak finish going through Youngjo’s work- a process Seoho’s invited to but willingly declines in favour of going through his social media, Geonhak finally takes his leave. <br/>
<br/>
Seoho can spot Youngjo talking to Geonhak in hushed whispers by the door from his place on the couch- averting his eyes just in time before he can be spotted eavesdropping. But his curiosity is piqued, and he can't stop wondering what is it that made Youngjo smile softly, nor about the way Geonhak ran a hand down Youngjo's arms so tenderly. </p>
<p>"Bye, loser, it was nice to meet you!" Geonhak calls from the door after their suspicious, nerve-wrecking conversation. Seoho sends him a noncommittal smile in reply, instead of pointing out that Geonhak’s technically the loser, too busy repressing a shiver at the way Geonhak's third once over of the night makes him feel. For a moment, he’s sure he sees him wink, right in front of Youngjo.</p>
<p>He must be going crazy out of stress. </p>
<p>"I don't like him." Seoho announces in a teenage fashion, scrolling down his phone and slumped, exactly three seconds after Youngjo closes the door. </p>
<p>"Well I think he likes you plenty." His boyfriend smiles warmly, walking up to him and swiftly stealing his phone away from his weak grip. </p>
<p>“Hey! I was talking to my mum.” Seoho protests to cover up the fact that the idea of Geonhak liking him makes him wanna smile dumbly, like the thirteen years old he secretly is.<br/>
<br/>
“That’s fine she also likes me plenty.”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho grumbles. “I know why you brought him here. And <em> I don’t like him. </em> You should have told me you were bringing him into our apartment.”<br/>
<br/>
His boyfriend blinks in reply, a shaky smile slowly making its way into his lips until it’s a full blown grin, so, so pretty Seoho mellows out at the sight of it, weak for it, for him.<br/>
<br/>
“What?” He snaps, Adam's apple bobbing for a moment.<br/>
<br/>
“<em>Our </em> apartment?!” Youngjo’s voice is filled with so much emotion Seoho can’t help but groan, grabbing one of the couch cushions and shoving it into his face. But there’s no stopping an emotional Youngjo “Awww, <em> baby, </em>that’s the first time you ever called it that!” His boyfriend exclaims, hugging whatever part he can of him and somehow managing to get rid of the pillow to look at Seoho’s red hot cheeks to kiss them noisily. </p>
<p>He gets cooed at, pinched, and kissed, no resistance whatsoever coming from him. And it feels nice, it feels normal, like Youngjo’s washing away all of Geonhak’s touches and consequently, his guilt.<br/>
<br/>
“I didn’t just bring him here to meet you. Geonhak and I used to be great friends back in college and he did need help with this.”<br/>
<br/>
“You’re doing it for <em> free</em>? He looks fucking rich!” Seoho widens his eyes, ready to go into his monthly scolding about Youngjo giving away his work for free as if his time wasn’t valuable. Youngjo sighs and runs a hand through Seoho’s hair, fixing it for him.<br/>
<br/>
“He’s not <em> rich, </em> okay? And I get it, I haven’t done any favours lately, have I? But, Seoho, he’s not just anyone okay- just, imagine if it was Hwanwoong asking you for a favour-”<br/>
<br/>
“Nope. Bad example, I wouldn’t do anything for that little minx.”<br/>
<br/>
Youngjo laughs, and sits back against the couch next to him. “He deserves my time, I promise.”<br/>
<br/>
“He can’t be <em> that </em> good a friend if you never mentioned him.” Seoho mumbles, mildly afraid of expressing that type of attitude aloud. But of course it’s to be heard, and Youngjo, as always, does hear him.</p>
<p>"I did mention him." </p>
<p>"You didn't say he was <em>such a good friend</em>." Seoho points out, a little bitter. <br/>
<br/>
“It’s… complicated. We were inseparable at one point. But then we graduated, I got a job and...When Geonhak started modelling and all that I- well. Things really changed and truthfully, I didn’t think I’d see him again. He was so busy, filled with so many new friends and exciting things I just- it felt like he was taken from me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. In the end it was just easier to let go than to stay just in case.”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho quietly takes it all in. It’s not unusual for Youngjo to talk about mere friends with such emotions. But there’s something about the wistfulness of his words, the nostalgia in his eyes that make Seoho feel as though Youngjo was talking about a past lover. </p>
<p>He wants to ask- but doesn’t dare to, afraid of knowing the answer.<br/>
<br/>
“Okay, but really. I think you both would get along great if you just gave him a chance. I know he seems cold at first, a bit off-putting. But he’s not like that at all! He’s just- he’s actually not that good at opening up to people either, you know?” Seoho’s attention perks up at that, Geonhak’s words flashing through his mind. “Though maybe he got better these years. I don't know. I feel like you guys are… quite similar.”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho disagrees. Youngjo has to look for another person. It’s weird if it’s so… so <em> intimate. </em> He says as much, but it makes his boyfriend laugh, for whatever reason. <br/>
<br/>
“If I got someone from grindr, you’d be complaining about how impersonal the whole thing is. Just give it a few days, okay? I’m not saying <em> you have to,</em> just that you think about it and get to know him a bit more.”</p>
<p>It’s pointless to try and argue with Youngjo- not when he’s the type to go <em> are we about to kiss right now? </em> at the headiest moment of an argument, make him laugh while he gets pecked over and over all over his face - which does <em> not </em> mean he’s won all of their arguments, hell no. They’re just on hold. indefinitely.</p>
<p>So Seoho grumbles and puts his palm up in the air as a silent request to get his phone back. Youngjo pecks him once more with a little <em> thank you </em> and is merciful enough to hand the phone back, so Seoho can get distracted with dumb fun videos instead of processing all of his feelings like he should.<br/>
<br/>
“At least he’s hot, isn’t he?” Youngjo calls with a smirk over his shoulder as he walks to the kitchen.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho bites his lip and says nothing.<br/>
<br/>
Youngjo does have great taste.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tHANKS FOR READING </p><p>Hope you liked this ...*gestures vaguely*  thing. Let me know in the comments if you did! I miss talking to ppl in here<br/>Part two is in the process of being polished BUT DON'T wORRY its SAFELY saved in like three different locations l m a o. </p><p>Here's my cc if u wanna come talk to me <a href="https://curiouscat.me/eclipseoho">(eclipseoho)</a><br/>(My twitter has the same name in case you wanna come yell at me in dms, but I don't use it for actual tweeting purposes. Feel free to req tho, i like chatting) &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hELLO, updating this so that ppl don't think ive disappeared- Ill take responsibility for my baby, oKAY?  But also life's just been rlly hetic for me and for unknown reasons this fic just went places i didnt expect and it got too long, so I'm posting this silly lil thing just to get this going. mostly just seodo tbh</p><p>Warning for emotionally constipated seoho and overuse of italics. also, painfully unbeta'ed. </p><p>Hope u dont get bored!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Traitor, </em> Seoho thinks, and sends just that.</p><p><br/>
<em> Traitor. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>That’s his boyfriend, everybody! An absolute, indisputable <em> traitor.<br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> &lt;3&lt;3&lt;3&lt;3&lt;3 </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> Sorry baby, I’ll make it up to you I promise.<br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> I wanna break up </em> Seoho types, but then swiftly decides against it with a little click of the tongue, knowing full well it would just feed into their endless circle of insecurities. Instead, he leaves the message unreplied, ignoring the spark of excitement at the prospect of Youngjo indulging him for an entire week out of guilt. Good. It’s <em> the least </em> he should do.<br/>
<br/>
Honestly, no greater betrayal has been documented in the history of relationships, if Seoho says so.<br/>
<br/>
Though he has to give it to Youngjo, this was an outstanding, mastermind plan he pulled. The subtle set up? The outstanding acting? All the hiding until the very last second where he revealed the brilliant treachery behind an entire week of <em> lies? </em> It’s the kind of treachery Seoho would applaud, if only it hadn’t stomped all over his pride and trust.<br/>
<br/>
At least he’s not the only victim, Seoho thinks as he watches with jittery nerves the figure walking closer and closer to him.<br/>
<br/>
He hasn’t spotted him yet. Or at least, Seoho doesn’t think he has. Seoho looks around. Perhaps he can still make a run for it, he thinks- hopes- calculating different escapes routes to free himself from the date his boyfriend has just set him up for- the <em> asshole. </em> How could he bail the last minute when they were supposed to spend the afternoon together? <em> “The three of us bonding” his ass </em> , Seoho curses mentally and in his distraction loses track of time and hence his only chance to get away.<br/>
<br/>
“Hey.” A low, irresistible voice reaches his ear above the sound of children playing nearby and Seoho freezes, turning around slowly to look into the eyes of Kim Geonhak.<br/>
<br/>
He looks impeccable, clad in expensive sportswear that fit his body as if it were especially handmade for him. Geonhak looks, as per usual, like an athletic dream man, as if he were ready for hidden cameras to come out and shoot a pretentious commercial the moment they start rolling.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho, on the other side, looks like he’s just woken up from a nap- messy bed hair and oversized hoodie making him look like the stressed college boy phase he never got over. At least he’s not wearing mismatched socks this time, <em> thank god. </em><em><br/>
</em><br/>
No matter how many times he sees Geonhak, Seoho can never quite shake the feeling that he’s below him. There’s something about the way he presents himself to the world- so assured and unbothered, like nothing can reach him. Granted, It doesn’t help the fact that Seoho happens to have a giant boner crush for him- and honestly, who wouldn’t? Geonhak’s unreal, and Seoho’s past the point of being in denial about it, with the help- or rather, Youngjo’s gentle-bullying into admitting how painfully into Geonhak he is.<br/>
<br/>
But with the awful lot of time Geonhak’s been spending at their apartment lately, Seoho was bound to fall sooner or later, though It’s safe to assume Seoho’s proud of the fair fight he put up, how long he lasted in the blissful claws of denial. He also finds it quite amazing how protective one can get about an apartment that one didn't even consider their own mere couple weeks before, when threatened by their boyfriend’s best friend, part time model and full time demigod.<br/>
<br/>
“Seoho?”<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah?- I- I mean. Yeah. Hi.” He replies dumbly, shaking off the big, loud <em> I want you so bad </em> that he has written in bold all over his body.<br/>
<br/>
If Geonhak notices his weird behaviour, he doesn’t say anything. Or perhaps he’s already gotten used to Seoho’s strange ways to comment. But he does seem slightly confused as he looks around and Seoho understands immediately what’s going on.<br/>
<br/>
“He didn’t tell you.” Seoho deadpans, though his voice betrays the kind of reluctant acceptance of someone who has gone through this one too many times. For all his healthy and direct ways, Youngjo tends to scheme a lot behind Seoho’s back- behind everyone’s back, and he’d be way more upset about this if only Youngjo weren’t always right. “He isn’t coming.”<br/>
<br/>
Geonhak’s eyes go from puzzled, to disbelieving and finally, understanding. Though Seoho’s sure he can spot he looks a bit taken aback, as if he had just fully comprehended the implications of what that means.<br/>
<br/>
He should be horrified. Instead, it’s amusement what graces his features as he starts walking past Seoho and stretching his shoulders back, enticing Seoho to tag along without giving it much thought, falling into the rhythm of his footsteps quite naturally.<br/>
<br/>
“Well, damn.” Geonhak laughs, a throaty little sound that has no business doing all those things to Seoho’s heart. “There’s no way Youngjo’s carefully planned weekly schedule failed him.” He says, smiling to himself as he tilts his head.<br/>
<br/>
“We got played.” Seoho confirms, and doesn’t understand how Geonhak can be so carefree about the whole ordeal. Isn’t he annoyed that he won’t get to spend time with his friend for something other than work?<br/>
<br/>
“Wouldn’t be the first time. And knowing Youngjo, it won’t be the last.” That, they can agree on. <br/>
<br/>
As Geonhak suggests they start running to warm up for what’s a whole afternoon of planned torture (read: exercise), Seoho is left wondering a sea of questions about the others “not first times”.<br/>
<br/>
It starts easy enough. Seoho, though currently out of shape, has the leftover stamina of years and years of training as a boy, and the absurd amount of feelings and thoughts bottled up inside him keep him busy enough to forget about the physical pain.<br/>
<br/>
There’s also the issue of Geonhak next to him.<br/>
<br/>
Geonhak, who excels at small talk- <em> years of practice </em> , he insists, but Seoho’s sure someone who handles those levels of eloquence can only be a natural. He guides the conversation with flowing expertise while keeping his perfect pace- also years of practice- while Seoho stumbles to keep up- in both senses. Seoho finds that Geonhak has such a forward way with words, it leads him to open up unawarely, to the point where he’s letting Geonhak know more than his own close friends. They were talking about the weather barely two seconds ago, how did he manage to turn it into a conducted research on Seoho’s family background?<br/>
<br/>
The fabricated intimacy ends abruptly when Seoho’s lungs decide to go on a strike on him, and before he knows it, Seoho’s holding onto his side, free hand on his knee as he tries to catch his break. Geonhak laughs at him, of course he does, but at this point Seoho’s pride is so beaten up he can’t even begin to make himself care. At least he’s merciful enough to let him lay on the grass as he buys him a drink.<br/>
<br/>
When Geonhak comes back, Seoho finds with boiling envy that he’s barely even broken a sweat, and instead, there’s a soft sheen over his face that makes him look as though he were glowing from inside out- honestly how dare he? How dare he look like the stuff dreams are made of, as if he were his prince in shining sportswear offering him water to quench his thirst?<br/>
<br/>
"If that isn't blue-colored then I don't want it." Not hydrating oneself out of pure disgust at how hot Geonhak is? Why yes. The levels of pettiness he’s reached this week alone are self destructive enough to. </p><p>"My Youngjo really has you spoiled, doesn't he?" Geonhak tilts his head, water bottle dangling teasingly right in front of his face in a way that conveys Seoho has no other choice but to take it. </p><p>So he does, though not without being a child and adding a disgruntled sound of protest as he yanks it from his hand and chugs down half a bottle anyways. It's a miracle he doesn't spill all of it all over his chest.</p><p>Geonhak would probably like that, Seoho thinks, if only to make fun of him.</p><p>Or ogle him some more- but Seoho’s trying very hard not to think about it, about the eyes that try to meet his ever so often, and stray unsubtly as if wishing to be caught.</p><p>"Ah- yeah. Sometimes I don't think I deserve him." Seoho mumbles, leaning back on his palms as Geonhak sits next to him- unnecessarily close. </p><p>"How come? He seems to like you very much." </p><p>"Youngjo likes everyone" </p><p>A lopsided smile, a little roll of eyes that make Geonhak all the more attractive in his eyes. "You know what I mean."<br/>
<br/>
Seoho does, indeed. There’s hardly anyone that doesn’t comment on how good they look together, how they’re <em> meant to be- </em></p><p>"It's nothing. I just…He's just good to me, you know? And I don't think I've always been good to him." Seoho sighs heavily as he sits back up and slightly away from Geonhak, tugging at the grass to distract himself from the sudden discomfort that comes with the outburst of vulnerability.<br/>
<br/>
Geonhak eyes him carefully in return- Seoho can feel it by now. </p><p>"Did you cheat on him or something?" The model arches an eyebrow- and Seoho would be beyond scandalised if there wasn’t a faint teasing undertone to it. </p><p>Seoho does glare, though, wary feelings awaken at the soft prod. "I would never" He almost hisses before reminding himself he ought to behave like a proper adult, even if Geonhak makes it really hard lately.<br/>
<br/>
The other remains unphased. </p><p>"Then what’s the problem? It can't be that bad.” Geonhak says and finally looks away, though keeping the most infuriating little smirk. “Listen, I work in the modelling industry. People there are monsters, I won't get easily scared about whatever it is you did"</p><p>Silence.</p><p>"It'll stay between us, I promise." Geonhak leans in, gets close enough that his keen interest is almost contagious to him. Almost- <em> almost- </em>makes him smile. </p><p>Seoho doesn't know why he answers. It feels as though he has just fallen into the second trap of the day. But this time, it’s a trap set by the sneakiest bastard (Geonhak) who has made it his personal mission to get Seoho to talk about himself all afternoon- every little question intricately prepared to make him open up.</p><p>"When we started dating, I didn’t quite know what asexuality was, so it took me a while to... <em> adapt. </em>The first months I was always coming up with plans to like...thirst trap him- Yes, I suck. Shut up, don't say it." Seoho refuses to glance at Geonhak's perfect, judgey eyebrows. "I was just… I was learning about it all back then and I read about how some ace people still enjoyed sex- I- I didn't want to bring it up and make Youngjo uncomfortable by asking- I wanted to know just how sexless my life was gonna be. Turns out, I wasn't as sneaky as I thought because only two days into my three weeks plan and Youngjo noticed I was acting weirdly. I broke down crying and confessed to it immediately when he questioned why all my clothes were two sizes too small all of a sudden.”</p><p>Geonhak lets out the most unattractive snort of amusement, his whole body shaking with laughter as he ignores Seoho’s resigned huff of annoyance. "Oh my god, what did he do?" </p><p>"He laughed at me for being a pitiful mess and then gave me a lecture about couple's communication after buying me a comfort-cake." It’s mumbled with slight, childish timidity. </p><p>The other man chuckles, fondness flashing in his smile and making him all the less intimidating in Seoho’s eyes. "Sounds like Youngjo." </p><p>"Right."<br/>
<br/>
It’s beyond strange, Seoho thinks, how what used to be a source of insecurity has now turned into a common point for them to meet. Youngjo brings them together, instead of apart, and the underlying competitiveness Seoho used to feel against Geonhak has faded away for some time now. When? He doesn’t know. All he knows is that his boyfriends lips pronouncing that name, Geonhak’s name, stopped being a threat and became a surge of excitement the day Youngjo whispered into his ear.<br/>
<br/>
<em> Geonhak wouldn’t stop staring at your lips today </em>he said, hot and almost sensual, as if trying to provoke him, one of the many days Geonhak stopped by to work with Youngjo on his new dance studio. </p><p>"What about you, though? You said earlier that it's your fault you guys got distanced. So what was it that you did?" Seoho asks all of a sudden, as the memory of an older conversation pops in his mind- as if he could ever forget anything Geonhak’s ever said to him at this point. It’s a great excuse to stop his mind from going to places he doesn’t fully understand yet. </p><p>Geonhak smiles softly, almost nostalgically. "I don't think it's my place to tell." He utters mysteriously- and Seoho’s had it with all the obscure, cryptic mentions of their past that’s starting to eat his head. </p><p>"You know that's funny. Youngjo said exactly the same thing when I asked, and told me to ask you. So you better spit it out before I ask you in front of him next time." Seoho affirms, an impossible dare in his eyes that leaves no room for denial. </p><p>"Next time, huh?" </p><p>"Shut up, this isn't a date." But it sure does feel like one.<br/>
<br/>
Geonhak chuckles, eyes crinkling cutely as he runs a hand through his hair. “Thank god, cause it’s going terrible-”<br/>
<br/>
“You have no moral right to accuse me of being a lousy date because, news for you, I live with my boyfriend and you’re single, so stop deviating from the conversation and <em> answer.” </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em>Geonhak blinks, clearly unused to Seoho’s outbursts of sass- though he seems to respect that he’s lost their little banter. </p><p>"<em>Touché</em>.” He clicks his tongue and inhales, as if mulling over his reply. “Okay." He finally concedes. "If Youngjo told you to ask me… i guess that's his way of giving me permission to tell you about it." </p><p>"About what?" </p><p>"The fact that I was in love with him."<br/>
<br/>
Geonhak’s eyes have lost all trace of amusement by now, and instead there’s a little serious glint to them- almost solemn. He looks at Seoho as though he were searching, as though led by concern. </p><p>Seoho's heart stops beating. </p><p>"What?" </p><p>A smile, though not as gentle as the others. "Don't look so spooked, I'm not here to steal him away from you, Seoho. I'm not that kind of person." </p><p>"I-" </p><p>Geonhak chuckles and stands up, offering him his hand to tug him up. </p><p>"C'mon, weakling, let's do another lap."<br/>
<br/>
And just like that, the conversation ends abruptly and while Geonhak talks to fill the silence- about the weather, the park, his job, Seoho wonders. He wonders so much- but above all, he wonders whether Youngjo loved Geonhak back. </p><p>Whether he still does.</p><p>...</p><p><br/>
It all goes downhill from there.<br/>
<br/>
Or maybe uphill, Seoho isn’t sure anymore.<br/>
<br/>
All he knows is that everyday is a struggle, a painful, excrutiating wrestle between heart, body and mind. What used to be easily fixed with a shower before, has now become an impossible problem that has him paying for online meditation classes if only to try and reconnect with a body that seems to have gone rogue on him. Embarrassing doesn't even begin to cover it anymore.<br/>
<br/>
Sure, Hwanwoong’s having the time of his life, and though Youngjo won’t admit it, his smug smiles and subtle peers are enough to betray that he is too.<br/>
<br/>
The repeated mentions of Geonhak are but a painfully obvious confirmation that Youngjo’s aware of his <em> problem </em> and is only making matters worse for his enjoyment. At least he does get thoroughly spoiled for a week- he doesn't even have to do the dishes once. <br/>
<br/>
Youngjo just <em>has </em> to know by now what with how extra clingy Seoho’s been- extra starved for affection, and extra sensitive too. He doesn’t even scurry away from Youngjo’s touches, basking in them instead, if only to soothe some of the edge off. He can't possibly have missed all the longing looks Seoho has given him lately, and how he plays victim at least daily about being set up so viciously. <br/>
<br/>
"It was the worst day of my life. My legs still hurt you know-"<br/>
<br/>
"Ugh, poor baby." Youngjo indulges him with a gentle laugh, bringing the other's legs over his lap and massaging his calves soothingly as he sits by him on the bed. "Though Geonhak says you guys had a nice time."<br/>
<br/>
Seoho rolls his eyes, ignoring the telltale pink on his cheeks that's impossible to keep at bay lately. "Sure, bet he had a blast physically torturing me."<br/>
<br/>
"Bet he did."<br/>
<br/>
"What?"<br/>
<br/>
"Nothing." Youngjo caresses over his thigh, as if he knew that would make him braindead enough to forget about it. "In any case, he liked getting to know more about you, or so he says."<br/>
<br/>
"You guys talk an awful lot about me, huh?"<br/>
<br/>
"What can I say?" Youngjo shrugs, a glint of mischief dancing in his face. "You're more interesting than fonts and colour theory."<br/>
<br/>
"Sap."<br/>
<br/>
"You like it." Seoho hums, noncommital- of course he's right, but he doesn't have to say it aloud. "What do you think about him though?" And there it is, the actual thing that Youngjo's been meaning to ask with all this pointless- but sweet and ego- boosting introduction. <br/>
<br/>
Seoho pauses, takes his time to carefully choose his words as he sits up against the headboard of their bed. "Are you asking whether I like him as your friend or whether I would like to-"<br/>
<br/>
"Both." Youngjo cuts him short, blinking expectantly. <br/>
<br/>
"I mean... he's hot."<br/>
<br/>
"I think we've established that much. But- do you <em>like</em> him?" His boyfriend prods lightly, knowing Seoho needs more than a little push sometimes to actually say things. <br/>
<br/>
"I don't know, Youngjo- I just- I guess I don't know him that much." <br/>
<br/>
A lot goes unsaid. Seoho has doubts that go beyond Geonhak himself- there's so much he wants to ask, so much he doesn't understand. But he trusts Youngjo so much, that even voicing them feels like a mere contradiction. <br/>
<br/>
Youngjo would never hurt him- so does it really matter, whatever relationship he used to have before? </p><p><em>I'm not here to steal him away from you, Seoho</em><br/>
<br/>
His boyfriend hums, resuming his touches and effectively easing the tension he's just built in Seoho's body. "Maybe we need to spend some time together, the three of us, work aside." He says, as if a mindless little comment that would otherwise go unnoticed. Seoho shrugs, and uses it as an excuse to end the conversation before it goes places he doesn't wanna deal with. <br/>
<br/>
Hwanwoong insists that Seoho really ought to talk to Youngjo about the whole past love fiasco, but Seoho is in a good place. Really. He’s fine ignoring his maddening, repressed sexual urges until his hormones die of misuse or something.<br/>
<br/>
“Liar.” Hwanwoong snorts in between clients and proceeds to talk Seoho’s ear off about how bad it is to bottle things up until they explode in his face like he usually does.<br/>
<br/>
And maybe he’s right. However, Seoho cannot afford to care about such trivialities right now- he’s too busy trying to avoid Geonhak’s entire existence by matching his work hours with the days the usurper is usually at their home- doing god knows what anymore. Seoho can’t be bothered to keep track, doesn't even want to.<br/>
<br/>
But of course, he can’t avoid it forever, and one dreadful day, before he knows it, Geonhak is lounging around in their kitchen and promptly announces that he’s finally found an apartment, somewhere nice to move into and quit the lousy hotel he's been staying at. His boyfriend, ever the angel, doesn’t have a better idea than to invite him for a celebratory dinner that very same weekend.<br/>
<br/>
“Seoho’s free too-”<br/>
<br/>
“No, I’m not!” Seoho quips from his place on the couch- <em> far away </em> from Geonhak and his irresistible body.<br/>
<br/>
Youngjo’s head peeks from the kitchen door and frowns at him. <em> Be nice </em> he mouths, and Seoho sticks out his tongue at him, like the mature, professional adult that he is.<br/>
<br/>
“He’s free.” Seoho hears Youngjo confirm, regardless of the audible whines that come from him.<br/>
<br/>
When Geonhak leaves, he passes by him and pats him in the head as a goodbye, making him shiver from head to toe.<br/>
<br/>
"We'll have fun, I'm sure." Geonhak murmurs, voice dropping impossibly low, triggering Seoho's body into override, as he cannot help but stare at Geonhak's back until the door's closed behind him. <br/>
<br/>
"Youngjo?" Seoho calls, minutes later, as his boyfriend looks up from scrolling down his phone, meters away from him. "I think we need to talk."<br/>
<br/>
"Mh?"<br/>
<br/>
"I think I wanna screw your friend."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hELLO- coming back with a tiny update that was supposed to be in the last part but I didn't have time to polish, so SURPRISE here it is &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Does seoho know you’re here?" Geonhak’s deep, rich voice reaches him from behind. Years ago, back when stress and hangovers were Youngjo’s constant company, a single phrase from him would’ve been enough to make Youngjo shudder.<br/><br/>Nowadays, Youngjo finds that the lingering fondness is still there, albeit hidden by layers and layers of love for Seoho, and the responsibility he feels for him. It’s not nearly as strong- nor half as passionate- but Youngjo can feel it nonetheless, asleep, stirring each day, thrumming with excitement as it awakens slowly. </p><p>When Geonhak finally sits in front of him, Youngjo gives him one single affronted look that conveys that that's the stupidest question Geonhak could have ever asked him. </p><p>"Of course he knows.” Youngjo mutters, eyeing the menu- it’s so painfully obvious they haven’t hired a designer for it, it almost makes Youngjo want to laugh. </p><p>"Please. Don’t pretend like you’re a saint that tells him everything.”</p><p>Youngjo doesn’t even acknowledge the comment, purposely keeping his eyes down as he reads under his breath. But of course, it’s hard for Geonhak to let go of things.<br/><br/>“Doesn't it bother him?" Geonhak, who’s stuck in his jacket, doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest about his reaction. And that’s such a classic Geonhak thing to do- throw a bomb and pretend like nothing has happened. </p><p>"Why would it bother him? We see each other almost everyday at this point-”</p><p>"For work." Geonhak points out, eyeing Youngjo with keen eyes that betray his intentions go beyond just mere curiosity. </p><p>"Ah, it's good you remember. I was starting to think you had forgotten about that with all the touching and the flirting- and the <em> asking about my boyfriend </em>-" </p><p>"Boyfriend that you're handing to me on a silver plate. You're not gonna tell me now that it bothers you, are you Youngjo? What? You getting jealous or something?" </p><p>The way Geonhak smirks, boyish and mischievous shouldn’t affect Youngjo as lethally as it does- and yet he can feel it, the way his heart skips a beat, how his stomach flips and he can’t help but smile back, regardless of how disapproving he wants to look.<br/><br/>“I’m not handing him to you on a silver plate, he’s not a thing, mind you.”<br/><br/>Geonhak chuckles at that, but at least has the decency to shut up while the waiter takes their order. It’s enough for Youngjo to gather his posture back. There’s something different about this encounter now that they aren’t at his small studio, staring at the screen and keeping the conversation lowkey. Youngjo doesn’t know why he always keeps at least a meter of distance between them when Seoho isn’t home, or why he never lets Geonhak stray the conversation away from work- or his boyfriend at worst. Maybe it’s in case Seoho is somewhere eavesdropping. Not that he would- Seoho has little to no patience for those kind of things, and he’d rather insecurity ate away at his head than get the answers himself, whether that be directly or not.<br/><br/>“You’re awfully protective of him, you know?” Geonhak comments once the waiter has left them, leaning back against the chair as though he weren’t in a public place. “I don’t remember you being like this with anyone else.”<br/><br/>“I like him, he’s younger than us- what’s your point?”<br/><br/>Geonhak shrugs. “Doesn’t seem to me like you wanna share him.”<br/><br/>The sudden heartfelt observation leaves Youngjo disarmed, and he throws all his planned caution overboard and decides that for once, he’ll let his guard down. After all, he owes Geonhak that much.</p><p>"It's not about that." Youngjo inhales, fidgeting with a little package of sugar. “It’s just- Seoho isn't like the boys we used to play around with in college, Geonhak. He's- he's breakable. He needs care.” </p><p>"Does he now?" Geonhak arches an eyebrow, slightly judgemental but mostly playful, defiant in a way only he can be.</p><p>"I mean it.” Youngjo deadpans.</p><p>"Okay, okay." Geonhak concedes, holding his palms up in the air to show he’s harmless. Youngjo trusts him to be.</p><p>"You need to understand that… whatever happens, he comes first."  There’s no other way to say it, and no matter how much it pains Youngjo to finally admit it out loud- that after all these years, Geonhak isn’t the most important person in his life anymore- it’s true, and if Geonhak wants to go on with whatever mess Youngjo has gotten them into, he deserves to know that much.<br/><br/>Geonhak’s expression is unreadable. The clock ticking in the background seems to be mocking Youngjo, every movement delayed to the point where Youngjo feels time passing excruciatingly slow- utterly painful. </p><p>"I never doubted that." Geonhak finally replies, and offers Youngjo a reassuring smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.<br/><br/>Youngjo smiles back, and when their drinks arrive, they’re submerged in a sort of comfortable silence that Youngjo is thankful for. It gives him time to pick his words cautiously, rethink how he's gonna break the news to Geonhak this time.<br/><br/>But then again, he shouldn’t be such a prude about this- not when this is the literal main reason why he reached out to him all those weeks ago.<br/><br/>“Spit it out, you’re making me nervous.” Geonhak’s slightly annoyed voice makes Youngjo laugh as he stirs his iced coffee, the ice cubes clinking pleasantly against the glass.<br/><br/>“It’s about tomorrow.” Youngjo starts and purposely takes a long sip of his drink. He mentally  counts up to three and waits until Geonhak does the maths on his own.<br/><br/>“No way.” Geonhak whispers, eyes widening in surprise when he finally gets it. He’s cute like that, Youngjo thinks, expression silly and slightly dumbfounded- and he likes it. Youngjo misses those times back when the model persona hadn’t taken over Geonhak’s attitude, his expressions, that boyish charm Youngjo liked so much. “Are you sure he wants this? Youngjo, he pulls away every time I touch him-”<br/><br/>“I’m not coaxing my boyfriend into this, Geonhak. He asked.” Youngjo rolls his eyes, ignoring the telltale cocky smirk forming in the other’s face. Geonhak does not need an extra ego- boost, no sir. “But if you dare tease him about that, Kim Geonhak I swear to god-”<br/><br/>Geonhak’s loud laugh cuts his threat short, and Youngjo watches him warily as the other drinks his ugly green juice and smiles to himself in satisfaction.<br/><br/>“I’ll behave. Honestly, I thought he hated me.”<br/><br/>“Seoho’s complicated.”</p><p>“Will you be there?”<br/><br/>“Yeah- “ A little wave of nerves rushes through him. Oh god, what if Geonhak isn’t into that anymore? What if he finds it weird and- “Sorry, I should have told you that was the idea from the beginning but-”<br/><br/>“It’s fine, Youngjo. I’m okay with that. It’ll be fun.” Geonhak reassures with an easy smile, shrugs as his gaze flickers to the table and then back at him, overflowing with suggestiveness "We used to have fun- remember?"<br/><br/>Youngjo scoffs yet cannot help the little tug at the corner of his lips when he’s invited to reminiscence those fun secret times of theirs. It’s different now- he’s got responsibilities, burdens but also, a different kind of freedom. He’s got Seoho too, and Youngjo thinks he could never trade him for the world.<br/><br/>“Just bring some condoms.” He opts to say. “And Geonhak?” Youngjo reconsiders, eyes turning warningly heavy for a moment. “ <em> Be nice.” </em> <em><br/></em> <em><br/></em> The impish smirk that he gets in return isn’t enough to soothe Youngjo’s doubts.<br/><br/>“ <em> Yes, sir </em> .”<br/><br/>But he takes it nonetheless. They’re all so far deep into this thing, Youngjo doesn’t think he could call it off- even if he wanted to. </p><p>Lucky for him, he really, really doesn’t.<br/> </p><p><br/><br/>...</p><p> </p><p><br/>“It’s raining. We <em>really</em> should cancel.”<br/><br/>“He’s already on his way, Seoho.”<br/><br/>“Then he needs to turn around and go back to his place! Isn’t he about to move? I’m sure he’s got like <em> tons </em> to do.”<br/><br/>“I know you’re trying to be funny, but also keep this up and you’re gonna make me think you <em> actually </em>don’t wanna do this- and I know you too much for that.”</p><p>“Youngjooo, I can’t do this- please, just tell him I’m indisposed or something-” Seoho whines, cheek mushed against Youngjo’s big, solid back as the other finishes preparing a salad. Seoho doesn’t remember the last time Youngjo managed to attempt a homemade food that was edible- but of course Geonhak, his majesty, gets a perfectly made salad. Not that Seoho wants one, no. He’s just petty his boyfriend’s cooking skills only seem successful when <em> he </em> is coming over. With how much Youngjo works for him, Geonhak should be the one making him a three course meal- at the very least.<br/><br/>Seoho feels the other’s slight chuckle, his deep inhale before he turns around- and Seoho’s so very clingy, he stubbornly refuses to untangle himself - to the point where he ends with his forehead against Youngjo’s shoulder instead.<br/><br/>“Seoho… you’re just nervous, okay?” His boyfriend soothes, hands wrapping around his middle and massaging down his back- It isn’t fair. Seoho hates how he’s always right, how electric his touches feel, how he can handle his mood as though he were pulling on the strings of a puppet.<br/><br/>“What if I get cold feet at the very last second and end up making a fool out of myself-”<br/><br/>“Lee Seoho, how can you be so smart but also so dumb-”<br/><br/>“Hey!” Seoho protests, but the moment he raises his head, Youngjo cups it in his big palms- cold and a little wet from handling all those vegetables, but Seoho doesn’t mind- not when it feels so hot in there, and Youngjo is looking at him with so much fondness he might as well burst from all the love his boyfriend is trying to convey.<br/><br/>“Nobody’s gonna force you to do anything you don’t want- and believe me, Geonhak is not an asshole, no matter how hard he tries to look like one.”<br/><br/>“He really does.” Seoho grumbles, avoiding the other’s eyes and getting a sweet little chuckle for his pettiness.<br/><br/>A sudden knock reaches their ears and Seoho tenses up, cursing the janitor for opening the main door for their guest. Seoho was supposed to have time to prepare, god damn it-<br/><br/>“Speak of the devil-” Youngjo wiggles his eyebrows suggestively- making Seoho hit him slightly on the chest with a chastising look.<br/><br/>Too soon, Youngjo flees to open the door, leaving Seoho alone to catch his breath with his clammy palms on the cool counter. He’s already overheating just by thinking about what’s to come- so much for showering for half an hour, only to ruin it before Geonhak can even say-<br/><br/>“Hey.”<br/><br/>Seoho jumps in surprise, heart pounding against his ribcage as he watches Geonhak stand  by the kitchen door. And oh, this is going to be a godless, godless evening, Seoho thinks when he manages to take a glimpse at what Geonhak’s wearing. He’s dressed to the nines- classic black slacks and a soft looking white shirt that looks like it was tailored to perfection with the only purpose of making Seoho lose his mind- there was absolutely no need for those three buttons to be undone, that much he knows.<br/><br/>“Hi.” He croaks out when he gets caught ogling, rubbing his left arm as they seem to slowly settle into a staring contest. And Seoho’s boiling- he boils just by having Geonhak’s eyes on him, looking like he’s studying him, trying to infiltrate into his every thought, decipher his every gesture, his every movement. It feels like one wrong breath will have Seoho giving it all away. “Uh, you’re not wet.” He points out dumbly- god, he’s so <em> useless </em> when he’s nervous.<br/><br/>At least it seems to amuse Geonhak, who’s being really quite decent about the fact that Seoho obviously can’t function tonight. Suspiciously so.<br/><br/>“Oh, the wonders of an umbrella.” He tilts his head with a surprising lack of malice in his voice.<br/><br/>“All good here?” Youngjo asks as he squeezes inside and grabs the salad bowl. His eyes flicker between them with a little smug smile of satisfaction. Much to his dismay, Youngjo also happens to look delectable this evening-had Seoho not been too nervous to do other than overthink, Seoho wouldn’t have taken his eyes off him all day. The sight of the both of them together is enough to make him want to slam his head against the cupboard, and he has to resist how badly his body is trying to get him to walk out the main door- fast. His survivals instincts seem to be kicking in for there's really no way for Seoho to come out unscathed after an evening with those two. </p><p>Right now, the question is- what's stronger? Seoho's sense of self-preservation for his sanity, or his need to get laid?</p><p>God, he’s too horny for this shit. And way too cowardly.<br/><br/>“Okay!” Youngjo chirps when he realizes the sexual tension won’t snap on its own. “Let’s go eat.”<br/><br/>The second his boyfriend leaves, Geonhak signals Seoho to follow first with raised eyebrows. Seoho does, albeit wary, if only to avoid having to stay a second longer alone with him. Yet the moment Seoho passes by him, Geonhak allows his palm to rest ever so slightly over the small of his back, sending sparks of electric excitement down his spine. The touch is light, but present- enough that Seoho can feel it lingering even after he’s sat down, right in front of Geonhak- that’s his luck, everybody- bad luck that suspiciously feels like Youngjo’s doing. Talking of which, he sits at the head of the table, in the middle of them both, as though he were a mediator or a link between them.<br/><br/>Seoho rolls his shoulders back and tries to relax- though he already knows it’s a lost cause.<br/><br/>Silence fills in. The only sound is the clinking of cutlery as Youngjo fixes each of them a plate of the chicken from that overpriced place they both like so much. Seoho tries not to look up, at risk of catching Geonhak’s eyes on him- and it’s mentally draining, so much so, that when Geonhak fills his glass with a rich looking wine, he drowns half of it in one go.<br/><br/>“Woah, take it easy.” Their guests comments, slightly bemused, as he takes a sip of his own drink while leaning back against his chair, patiently waiting for Youngjo to finish serving his own plate. Youngjo, who’s smiling pleasantly, completely unbothered by the strange atmosphere that has seeped in. <br/><br/>“Don’t worry. Seoho can outdrink anyone he wants and get away with it without a hangover.” Youngjo says, and before Geonhak can open his mouth, his boyfriend laughs. “Yes Geonhak, even you. Don’t get competitive, he will destroy you.”<br/><br/>Seoho shouldn’t feel so proud about the fact that he has an incredibly high functioning liver, but the idea of being better than Geonhak at <em> something </em> , is enough to fill him with a wave of confidence that has him smiling unawarely. <br/><br/>“Don’t think I’d mind that much.”<br/><br/>The <em> getting destroyed by him </em> goes unsaid. Seoho chokes on his own saliva, prompting Youngjo to pat his back while he stares at Geonhak with disapproving eyes.<br/><br/>Geonhak looks smug at best, and feral at worst<br/><br/>The dinner has barely even started, and Seoho already regrets each and every of his past life decisions.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p><br/>Time passes by, and as Youngjo eases them into mindless conversation, Seoho finds himself more and more immersed in Geonhak. The way he talks, the way he moves, eats, how his eyes will find Seoho’s and question them with a single arched eyebrow before Seoho manages to avert them.<br/><br/>He barely eats, too distracted by the conversation and by trying to pretend as though Geonhak’s foot hasn’t found his under the table, right under Youngjo’s nose. The touch is light, so carefree one could think it was a product of carelessness- but Seoho has known Geonhak for long enough to know that much like Youngjo, there’s hardly anything that Geonhak does that isn’t deliberate.<br/><br/>If he tries hard enough, Seoho can completely erase it from his mind. But then Youngjo will direct a question to him, adamant to involve him in the conversation- and Seoho will be once again set ablaze by the contact, unable- or unwilling- to pull away as Geonhak observes him with a complacent glint in his eyes. Geonhak seems to refuse to let him forget, albeit for a second, why it is that he came. He goes as far as to lay his hand on top of his, the touch vivid and short-lived, yet enough for Seoho to imagine what it will be like when Geonhak finally touches him somewhere else, skin against skin- the moment that he lets him. <br/><br/>The mere thought makes him blush, and his boyfriend’s keen eyes must notice, because by the time Seoho is about to finish his third glass, Youngjo subtly exchanges it with his own, filled with water. His arms are so long he barely has to move at all, doing it so swiftly Geonhak misses it. But Seoho doesn’t- his mind is in override mode, picking up to the most minimal detail, hyper aware of everything that surrounds him- especially the clock ticking in the background. </p><p><br/>The moments he can actually focus, Seoho gets to see a whole new playful side of his boyfriend- he laughs so much around Geonhak, about the dumbest things, boyish and carefree, as if he were much, much younger than he is. He goes as far as to hit Geonhak on the shoulder repeatedly when the other attempts to retell an embarrassing anecdote from back in college. Seoho listens intently, taking advantage of the fact that Geonhak is distracted enough to give him a reprieve from all his under the table games.<br/><br/>Seoho finds that the conversation can actually be quite enjoyable- especially if he isn’t the target of all the teasing. He allows himself to listen to Geonhak and push away all the jealousy- all the insecurity that comes with the fact that Geonhak knows so much about his boyfriend that Seoho doesn’t. There’s a whole side of an untroubled, reckless past that Seoho wasn’t even aware Youngjo had, and it pains him that he didn’t get to see him, that it was Geonhak the one with such privilege.<br/><br/>If Seoho mentally detaches himself enough from the situation, it’s as if <em> they </em> were the couple instead. Seoho allows himself to feel like the outsider for a moment, toying with the idea of reversed roles, gauging his own mixed feelings- but then Youngjo is back next to him, squeezing his thigh and reminding him that no matter what, right now Youngjo’s his, and that’s not about to change anytime soon.<br/><br/>“Glad to see you own something other than hoodies.” Geonhak comments when their plates have been emptied- all but Seoho’s. It takes a moment for him to register it’s him the one Geonhak’s talking to- but as overworked as his brain is, Seoho doesn't even reproach himself for it. It’s a miracle he hasn’t literally glitched by now.<br/><br/>“This?” Seoho looks down at the black v-neck shirt his boyfriend got him some weeks before. “Oh. Youngjo forced me into this.” Seoho states, candidly, earning a chuckle and Youngjo’s fond sigh.<br/><br/>“Well maybe you should let him force you into things more often.” Geonhak oozes a charming air of complacency, slight mischief hiding under his words. More often than not, Geonhak seems to speak with his eyes more than his mouth, and Seoho always feels like he’s missing something.<br/><br/>But he doesn’t have the mind to think about it now, defenseless as he feels this evening. Seoho feels warm, body tingling pleasantly under the weight of Geonhak’s stare, and before he knows it, his lips part slightly- as though all the tension seeped away from his body, the second he lets his guard down.<br/><br/>When Seoho realizes, horrified, that he’s forgotten that they’re not alone in the room, he finds that Youngjo is just looking at him carefully. It's not reproach what Seoho sees in his eyes, but caution, a spark of interest. </p><p>"He's pretty, isn't he?" Youngjo mutters, gently fixing Seoho’s fringe and making his breath hitch. The soft caress is enough to mellow him down, thighs clenching under the table. </p><p>"Yeah. He is." Geonhak exhales, almost as if by accident, prompting Seoho's eyes to shift to him, blood rushing through him at an unprecedented speed, making him hot and dizzy. "Bet he's even prettier under all those baggy clothes he always wears." </p><p>"He's gorgeous when he's naked." Youngjo’s hand is doing things to him, trailing lazily up and down his arm in a way that can only be qualified as sensual- it’s so unlike him, so foreign, so new-<br/><br/>And then he feels it, Geonhak’s foot sliding up his calve, pressure so intense it burns up his thigh, high, high, higher-</p><p>"Fuck-" Seoho suddenly gasps, dragging his chair back with a loud screech as he stands up and takes a step back. "What the fuck-" </p><p>“Baby- “ Seoho is too smart to miss the way Youngjo's eyes and Geonhak's meet for a second, a world of meaning passing through them. He’s too smart not to notice their perfect rhythm, the way they complimented him so effortlessly, with an ease that can only come from repeated practice.<br/><br/>And then it hits him.<br/><br/>Seoho exhales, the new discovery takes him unprepared, taking a toll on his overly sensitive body that is ready to betray him, if only to get more of whatever that was.<br/><br/>“So when you told me you were in love with him, did you somehow forget to mention that it’s not the first time you fuck one of his boyfriends?” Seoho asks, eyes fixed on Geonhak’s, who at the very least has the decency to look somehow taken aback by the abrupt question.<br/><br/>“They weren’t my boyfriends.” Youngjo breathes out heavily when the silence turns especially unbearable, rubbing his eyes in a way Seoho has only ever seen him when work’s been especially stressful. “They were just… boys.”<br/><br/>“Yeah, thank you. That makes it better.” Sarcasm drips from his words, almost spitting them out in his hurt at being involved in an activity that was reserved for <em> boys </em> only. Seoho suddenly feels disposable, like a mere number in a collection of anonymous people whose faces they probably can barely even remember-<br/><br/>Geonhak’s tapping his foot against the floor, fingers drumming on the table, looking unusually uncomfortable- his eyes go from Seoho to Youngjo, keeping respectfully quiet for the time being.<br/><br/>“I’m sorry. I should have told you.” Youngjo eventually speaks, looking up at him with earnest eyes that disarm him so easily, he can’t help but kind of forgive him already, willing to swallow all of his pride at the knowledge that those are the eyes of a person that would never hurt him knowingly. “I thought you wouldn’t even want to meet him if I did-”<br/><br/>“That’s right.”<br/><br/>“And Geonhak’s the only one I trust for this.” Youngjo finally confesses in a rush. Seoho hears the hasty stop of the drumming, spotting the way Geonhak fixes his eyes down on the table and doesn’t move, petrified at the other’s sudden words. They hold so much meaning, Seoho can’t even begin to imagine all it triggers inside him- does it agitate forgotten feelings in him? Incites the ones that linger? Or maybe it’s burden what Geonhak feels, what makes him swallow silently and has his hands trembling almost imperceptibly, looking eager to get away.<br/><br/>“I know I said I was okay in general- but I’m not, really.” Youngjo mumbles even though nobody has asked him any explanations. He looks small, uncertain, scratching the back of his head and displaying such heartrending vulnerability, Seoho is left breathless, coaxed into sitting back down and adopting a much more open disposition to listen to what Youngjo has to say. “And I didn’t want you to miss the chance to feel better just because of whatever emotional baggage we used to have.”<br/><br/>Seoho ignores the way Geonhak watches as he searches for his boyfriend’s hand on the table, squeezing over it encouragingly.<br/><br/>“Why didn’t you tell me?” Seoho asks, voice barely above a whisper, ignorant as to how to act around a delicate Youngjo, looking so oddly fragile Seoho’s afraid he’ll break him if he makes a single wrong move.<br/><br/>His boyfriend doesn’t look up, yet he does turn his palm up, caressing Seoho’s hand with overflowing fondness.<br/><br/>“I didn’t want you to feel burdened.” Youngjo admits in a small voice and Seoho sighs, flicking him in the forehead softly.<br/><br/>“So much for being the responsible, communicative adult in the relationship. You hypocrite.” Youngjo laughs, eyes slightly red but cheeks blessedly dry, and it’s enough that Seoho managed to steal a smile, a laugh, the relief in his eyes.<br/><br/>“I’m sorry, I’m sorry- I love you.” His boyfriend exhales while Seoho tuts in playful disapproval, smiling regardless of his badly pretended disappointment. Acting has never been his forte after all.<br/><br/>He understands Youngjo. Seoho doesn’t need long, heartfelt explanations of feelings and decisions- he understands that much like himself, his boyfriend is flawed- but his intentions are pure. They have always been- and though Seoho isn’t free of the slight sense of deception, he knows that there’s no one else in the world that he’d trust to nurse him back to peace of mind except for Youngjo. <br/><br/>They stay like that for what seems like entire minutes, wrapped in this sweetly pleasant intimacy, Youngjo’s thumb caressing all his external hurt away in seconds, loving it away with simple heartfelt touches that always soothe Seoho into calmness.<br/><br/>“Alright.” Geonhak suddenly announces, albeit a bit timid to be caught in this unexpected, excluding moment. Seoho feels guilt washing away at him for having forgotten him so blatantly, but words get stuck in his throat, unsure of what to say, what to do now. How do you deal with your boyfriend’s best friend who used to have feelings for him and came to help you with your sexual frustration but found himself tangled in a lover’s quarrel of sorts instead due to past undisclosed sexual activities? It’s beyond a tricky situation, and Seoho has to recalculate several times before he reaches a decision.“I think that’s my cue to leave-”<br/><br/>“You- You could stay if you wanted.” Youngjo suddenly interrupts, tongue seemingly faster than his brain, because he looks at Seoho as though mortified that he hasn’t checked with him first.<br/><br/>Geonhak, though,  doesn’t look convinced in the slightest. “I’m sure you have a lot to discuss and-”<br/><br/>“No. We can talk later.” Seoho swallows, surprised at the decisive sound of his voice, how he doesn’t tremble when he stares at the other and speaks clearly. “And you. God, you’ve been purposely driving me crazy for weeks, Geonhak, you don’t get to just leave-” Seoho pauses, suddenly self-conscious about his mindless choice of words. Of course Geonhak can <em> leave, </em> he doesn’t want to force him to do this, he just meant that- “I mean- you can but- but it would be super rude because-”<br/><br/>“I’ll stay.” Geonhak speaks up, sending Seoho an irresistible assuring smile that builds all the expectation right back in a second. “Gladly.”<br/><br/>Seoho feels his hand getting squeezed, and for the first time, he feels really, really good about all this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>y'all im trying but uni's hell so dont hold ur breath for next update- WORRY NOT it will be written no matter what i just need time lmao. </p><p>THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVELY COMMENTS me appreciates them muchy much &lt;3</p><p>As ALWAYS Here's my cc if u wanna come talk or yELL at me, ill gladly accept both <a href="https://curiouscat.me/eclipseoho">(eclipseoho)</a><br/>(My twitter has the same name- i dont rlly use it to tweet but feel free to req tho, i like chatting, he) &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>AYYY lmao</p><p>OK SO i made this longer cuz of my complete inability to stick to plans. what else is new</p><p>!Warnings! for SMUT (so much smut omg)<br/>Also before I get ppl mad in comments about the ace representation I chose, id like to rEMIND ppl that every ace person is different and has a different rship w sex and that does nOT invalidate their sexuality okay, ok good glad we agree &lt;3</p><p>Hope ya enjoy me nasty, i wrote it with luv.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Do you want a safeword?"</p><p><br/><br/>Seoho blinks, the solemn intent in Geonhak’s eyes enticing a nervous laugh that bubbles up his throat, adorns his face with a perpetual pink blush that, in turn, coaxes Youngjo into an overly comforting presence. </p><p>Ever since they entered the room, his boyfriend has refused to leave Seoho’s side, arm around his shoulders while his fingers trace mindless reassuring patterns on the side of his neck. Seoho isn’t sure whether they do more good than bad, but he takes them anyway- albeit for now. <br/><br/>"Will you stop If I ask you to?" Seoho asks, palms getting clammy and tongue heavy in his mouth, as if it held the heaviness of all of his doubts. </p><p>Geonhak doesn’t miss a beat. </p><p>"Of course." He replies, something earnest in his voice. He’s taking this whole preamble extremely seriously, no trace of his usual playful inclinations. He hasn’t even tried to flirt while he asked Seoho several questions that had him wanting to hide under the bed and call this whole thing off, utterly mortified that Youngjo is witnessing all this. <br/><br/>"Well, do <em> you </em> want one?" But Seoho pushes through- after all, Youngjo doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest, going as far as to reply to some of the questions for him. </p><p> </p><p><em> He’ll kick you if you touch behind his calves. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> Biting is okay as long as you don’t mark, right baby? </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> Oh, the neck, definitely.  </em></p><p> </p><p>Needless to say, Seoho’s never felt more in love with his boyfriend than right now, regardless of how the flush of his cheeks has now spread all the way down to his chest. </p><p>"No." Geonhak’s lips quirk into a little smile when he replies, as though the question amused him. Seoho bets he doesn’t get that asked often. </p><p>"Then we're good." Seoho states and leans some of his weight on his boyfriend’s anchoring body, giving into his comfort, letting his soft caresses soothe him before this whole thing starts- something tells him he won’t have much time to take a breather once it does.<br/><br/>“Youngjo?” Geonhak glances at him, eyes indecipherable, except for the lustful glint that ignites in Seoho an impossible want to grab him by the neck and kiss him stupid. Days and days in denial about it and doing an excellent job out of taming his lust only to have it come crashing down at him as though he were an impatient horny teenager about to have his first time all over again- as though he were eighteen all over again. <br/><br/>“You guys decide.” Youngjo says, eyes flickering from Geonhak to him, and then back. He sounds out of breath, but looks otherwise unaffected. He’s so very soft spoken, as though he were worried to break the atmosphere if he were to say or do the wrong thing. Seoho’s not used to seeing him so uncertain- but also there’s a calm aura that surrounds him- he’s anchoring him, Seoho knows. Youngjo always mellows out when Seoho’s nerves are on fire, subconsciously complementing him, appeasing him like a lullaby. More often than not, Youngjo will do it through sweet, wordless touches. <br/><br/>“Well in that case...” But the hands that suddenly sneak up his waist aren’t as elegant, nor as soft as Youngjo’s, and Seoho lets out a little desperate sigh when he remembers the situation he’s found himself in, body insistently urging him to <em> get on with it. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> Geonhak’s proximity burns all over him, like flames licking at his skin- and he barely even notices when Youngjo subtly slides away, leaving room for Geonhak to take over- infiltrating Seoho’s space as if he was meant to be there all along.  <br/><br/>Weeks and weeks of accumulated, unbearable sexual tension seem to collapse and fade away into sweet, sweet relief the second Geonhak noses at his cheek. Seoho lets out a whiny exhale- and he feels it when the other smiles against his skin, and finally, finally risks a kiss at the corner of his lips. </p><p>Kissing another man in front of your boyfriend has got to be the most otherworldly experience Seoho’s ever lived. He feels slightly broken, a fight within himself between that part that withholds loyalty for Youngjo as an ideal, and then, on the other side, that repressed part of himself that yearns for this, has been secretly fantasized about being held and kissed like this for months now.  Conciliating both parts is a struggle, and he cannot seem to focus, taking hurried glances at Youngjo while Geonhak slides his lips down his jaw. But he must be so terribly obvious- because before he knows it, Geonhak pulls away, sighing with a slight click of the tongue. <br/><br/>“This isn’t gonna work if you behave like a statue, babe-” <br/><br/>Seoho almost chokes.</p><p>“Babe-?”</p><p>But Youngjo chuckles quietly, his smile doing all kind of things to Seoho’s poor, battered heart. </p><p>"<em> Be nice </em>.” His boyfriend chastises with a little disapproving look thrown at Geonhak, who doesn’t look regretful in the slightest. “He's never done this before-” Youngjo continues, then directs his attention back to Seoho.”But...he’s right, baby, you do look really tense-"  </p><p>"It’s just- Are you <em> sure </em> this is okay for you?" Seoho worries his lip between his teeth and Youngjo softens visibly at the mere sight.</p><p>"Baby- I want nothing more than to please you- and Geonhak, he's so good with that." Youngjo is swift to get behind him, an arm surrounding his waist, tangled in between Geonhak's own. His free one slides up his neck soothingly and then covers his eyes all of a sudden- forcing a little staggered breath out of him. "Just pretend it's me-" He whispers hotly against his ear, possessively pulling him back against his body and making him tremble slightly- at the verge of being overwhelmed already. </p><p>Youngjo's never done this before, he's never touched him like this, as though trying to overpower him. And it feels just so right, being at his mercy, that he cannot help but submit to it. </p><p>Seoho feels a soft pressure on his chin, soft and gentle that slides up his jaw- Geonhak, who's tentatively kissing him, ever so softly it feels as though he were trying not to scare him. And it’s so nice, it’s so embarrassingly pleasant already, mouth threatening to make all kind of shameful sounds- So Seoho turns his head around with a gasp and searches for his mouth. </p><p>And <em> oh </em>, when Geonhak's lips finally capture his- Seoho swears his body flies for a moment. </p><p>Geonhak’s kisses are so different to Youngjo’s- there’s a hunger to them, that greedy craving for more that has his mind swimming in pure, utter satisfaction. For the first time in what seems like ages, Seoho finally feels utterly, undeniably and entirely <em> desired. </em> <em> <br/><br/></em></p><p>"Geonhak- please." Seoho pulls away and frees himself from Youngjo’s hand. As he gets distracted by the cold wetness of his lips, eager palms that seem to have a mind of their own travel down the expanse of Geonhak’s chest, the compelling firmness of it. <br/><br/>Seoho doesn’t know what he wants, whatever it is that he’s asking for- but it’s like a switch’s been turned because he barely has time to miss Youngjo’s presence before Geonhak surges forward and grabs him by the waist- as if he owned him. He catches his lips again and leads him into an irresistible kiss that makes Seoho forget about everything that surrounds him- all thoughts gone, faded away to Geonhak’s overpowering body. <br/><br/>The back of Seoho’s knees touch the bed, and before he can lose his footing, Geonhak is helping him up on it, on his knees so he can kiss him so more. He grunts against his mouth when Seoho tugs at his hair a tad too ungently- then tugs harder still.</p><p>Because Seoho’s mad. He’s furious. He hates the fact that Geonhak forces such feelings in him- turns him into such an easy, uncontrollable mess- hates that he’s so thankful and relieved he could cry just by a few kisses. <br/><br/>Way too soon, the other pulls away to take his shirt off, fumbling with the buttons clumsily. It’s such a rare sight, to catch him in an awkward moment. Yet Seoho doesn’t even find it in himself to tease him about him, or laugh. It’s a hint of just how far gone he already is. <br/><br/>“You’re a mess.” Seoho does manage to utter- force of habit, he thinks. Yet his mouth agape and he's barely able to breathe when he takes in the sight that greets him. <br/><br/>“You’re one to talk.” Geonhak retaliates with a husky little laugh as he finally gets rid of that goddamned shirt that’s been bothering Seoho all evening. <br/><br/>He’s beautiful- of course he is, he’s a model <em> for god’s sake </em> . But before Seoho can panic about the fact that <em> he’s about to fuck a model- </em> he notices that there’s a strange realness to him. There’s a texture to his skin- that skin that seems to go on for miles, stretches over delightfully strong looking shoulders and down arms that could- and have- easily lift him if they wanted to. Seoho doesn’t even hide the way his eyes trail down Geonhak’s taut stomach, the surreal lines of his abs- the way he curves oh so prettily- he doesn’t miss Geonhak’s arousal either, while the other’s fingers knead at his waist, under his shirt. <br/><br/>A shaky breath escapes his lips before Seoho can’t help it. He burns, burns inside out, skin boiling almost painfully by now. <br/><br/>“You’re pretty when you blush-” <br/><br/>“ <em> Shut up.” </em> The flustered way he says it makes Youngjo laugh- a quiet little chuckle that resounds in his ears and prompts his gaze to veer towards him. <br/><br/>And there he is, sitting on a corner, looking gorgeous and mighty as though he were a king enjoying a personal show. There’s soft, kind amusement that graces his features, and an encouraging smile that soothes the burning under Seoho skin. <br/><br/>Geonhak’s hands tug at his shirt and undress him before Seoho can even think of stopping him- yet he’s tense, stomach quivering and breathing laboured when he feels the heavy weight of two pairs of eyes on him. Seoho's never been one to be ashamed of his body- neither does he tend to fall for the unrealistic demands of the fitness era- but Geonhak's arrival in his life has taken a toll on his own body perception, for reasons he can't quite pinpoint. The warm, lustful eyes that meet his seem to decipher his heart right away, because Geonhak smiles kindly. </p><p>"How you're bad at exercising with this kind of body is beyond me." He teases- then bites on his lip in an obnoxiously sexual fashion. Should anyone else do it, it would look downright salacious, Seoho thinks. Yet, somehow with him, it works. </p><p>Geonhak swiftly throws the shirt away and touches Seoho with a reverence he never thought him capable of. His fingers knead on the sides of his slim waist, thumbs kneading on the soft warm skin and stealing a sharp exhale from him. Seoho allows it with wary discomfort- arms stiff on his sides and eyes flickering nervously between him and his boyfriend, whose expression is impossible to read. <br/><br/>And Seoho can’t handle this- he can’t, not anymore- “ <em> Geonhak.” </em> He pleads again, whiny and desperate and so very ashamed. <br/><br/>He gets a kiss for his efforts, Geonhak’s lips sliding almost forcefully against his as he grabs him by the back of his hair and drinks all of his unwilling little sounds of satisfaction. </p><p>"Mh, what do you think Youngjo? Should I give it to him?" Geonhak calls out, like the asshole Seoho forgot he was, as soon as he pulls away. His hands are already skittering by Seoho’s waistband, teasingly grazing his arousal in a way that has Seoho squeezing at the other’s chest in frustration. </p><p>"He's been such a good boy all this time for me, I think he deserves it." Youngjo replies quietly, and the way he smiles at him sweetly, so at ease with all this, so reassuring- there was really no way they hadn't done this before, Seoho realizes in a moment of lucidity, yet too dumbfounded by the words to say anything about them.  <br/><br/><em> These two are dangerous </em>, Seoho thinks, and he understands that he really, really had no idea what he was getting into up until this very moment. </p><p>"You should thank him.” Geonhak tuts, and pushes him by the hips so Seoho falls faintly against the bed with a soft gasp. “If it was up to me, I'd make you wait." </p><p>"Yeah, well, you're an asshole and he's nice." Seoho grumbles with no bite, Geonhak's words going straight in between his legs- as well as that smug little smirk. </p><p>"Your whines are just a turn on, babe." Geonhak shrugs with a boyish chuckle, then roughly tugs at his pants before he settles comfortably in between his legs. </p><p>Oh god, oh god, oh <em>god- </em><br/><br/>There’s no subtlety in the way Geonhak’s eyes roam all over his body, ogling, as if ready to eat him <em>whole-</em> <br/><br/>“Are you gonna let me touch you?” Geonhak whispers against his ear before licking and biting at the expanse on his neck in a way that makes Seoho arch up against the warmth of his body. <br/><br/>And how could Seoho have known this? How could Seoho have expected that Geonhak would be like this- so very not selfish? Unhurried, adamant, thorough-<br/><br/>Seoho doesn’t think when he guides Geonhak’s hand in between his legs with his own. He doesn’t think when he demands that Geonhak takes those goddamned pants off. <em>Off, off, off. </em>He doesn’t even think when he reaches down and slips his hand under the other’s briefs- hand curling around him and reveling in the firm width of it. Each and every of Geonhak’s little breathy sounds feel like dirty victory in his ears-<br/><br/>Until he makes the mistake of looking at Youngjo. </p><p>Youngjo- his boyfriend, his sweet boyfriend. His love, who’s watching Seoho with the most acute, piercing look he’s ever seen in him. And Seoho’s forced to stop, swallowing drily as he feels a wave of guilt wash over him- stomach all up in knots and coldness seeping into his skin. <br/><br/>But then a sudden grip on his jaw forces him to look up into Geonhak’s eyes again- so very full of stern lust that it knocks the air out of his lungs. </p><p>“No. Look at <em> me </em> .” <br/><br/>The bold command is impossible to defy- and even though Seoho would gladly do it, if only to get Geonhak all riled up, he can’t. The eyes freeze him in place and don’t even allow him to form a coherent reply. <br/><br/>“Okay, this isn’t working. Turn around.” Geonhak’s impatient by now- Seoho’s touches seem to have turned his initially sensual, playful attitude into one of urgency and determination. It's the kind of pushy attitude that inadvertently gets Seoho in those rare, pliant moods of his, where he can't even find it in himself to do anything other than cooperate. <br/><br/>So Seoho turns around on his stomach without even as much of a protest, allowing Geonhak to slide his underwear off regardless of how his head pounds with a wave of shame. Seoho closes his eyes tightly shut, and pretends like he isn’t rutting into the bed while Geonhak’s strong hands massage on the sweall of his ass- he pretends as though he didn’t mewl with every little kiss on his back, or the way he kicks in frustration the moment Geonhak bites down on his shoulder. <br/><br/><em> You’re so responsive </em> Seoho hears Geonhak through the blood rushing loudly in his ears. His voice feels so irresistibly deep, Seoho could get lost in the sound of it- willingly jump inside to never reach the surface ever again. But then Geonhak is tugging his head back by his hair, effectively pulling him out with a desperate little inhale. His lips are nothing if not insistent on touching every inch of his skin, leaving traces of blazing heat as they ravish him completely. <br/><br/>The heat is unbearable by now, pressure so tight Seoho thinks he’d come in a second if he wasn’t so terribly ashamed by the whole situation. <br/><br/>“Just get on with it or I’ll kick you out-” Seoho threatens- and he’s wound so tight, breathless already, and so close to crying that he thinks he actually does mean it. <br/><br/>“<em>Fuck- </em> okay-” A little muffled sound next to him warns Seoho that something’s fallen on the bed and he opens his eyes when he feels a familiar little caress on his hair. Youngjo’s warm face greets him for a single, blessed second before his boyfriend turns around after providing them with lube and condoms- and some extra reassurance for Seoho. <br/><br/>“You’re so possessive of him.” Geonhak chuckles behind him, as if Seoho weren’t there. It makes all kind of feelings stir deep in his stomach- he’s a little mad, a little ashamed- but mostly, Seoho feels ridiculously turned on. <br/><br/>Youngjo doesn’t do more than shrug once he sits down on his chair, a little mischievous smile forming on his face when he realizes Seoho can’t take his stunned eyes off him. <br/><br/>Geonhak notices soon enough and gently urges him to turn his head to the side- it’s almost as if he was fighting for Seoho’s attention- as though he wanted Seoho to think of him and him only. </p><p>Seoho doesn’t know what to think about it. </p><p>Not that one can think when your boyfriend's hot best friend and former model is about to finger you and you're the only one naked in the room. A little unfair if you ask Seoho. <br/><br/>Geonhak pulls Seoho’s knees up by his thighs all of a sudden and Seoho burns- he burns with arousal and shame at the new position, at the idea that Youngjo is seeing him like this with another man. That he’s letting another man do this. When Seoho tries getting up onto his hands to preserve some of his dignity, Geonhk pushes on his back and he ends up back onto his chest with a huff, back arching gracefully. He’s flustered, exposed- and Geonhak knows it. He caresses down his back, down his thighs in a strangely soothing fashion- but with a firmness that prevents Seoho from doing it all again. <br/><br/>“Stay like that.” Geonhak whispers close to his ear for only him to hear. “Don’t you want to give your boyfriend a good show? He can see everything from here.” <br/><br/>“<em>Geonhak-” </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> “ </em> You look so god, Seoho. Kind of makes me wanna fuck you ‘til you come- and then keep going.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Fuck. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>From then on, everything is a blur.</p><p>He hugs onto the pillow and focuses on the raindrops hitting against the window, a storm outside that seems to mimic Seoho’s inner one. <br/><br/>But Geonhak’s so gentle- if a bit hurried- that Seoho can’t help but be surprised by it. His slick fingers slide into his body almost seamlessly. Little shameful sounds of pleasure and slight discomfort escape Seoho’s parted lips and burn into his memory. He wonders what Youngjo is thinking about- wonders what he sees. What Geonhak sees. </p><p>The stretch is sudden- Geonhak’s hands are big, much like everything in him- and though he barely rocks them inside, Seoho’s way too sensitive after so long of only his own touches in the shower- who weren’t this ardent, nor nearly as deep. <br/><br/>Geonhak massages inside his body with ease, one finger at a time until he’s got three inside- has him loose enough that Seoho feels like he might as well be drooling. He mindlessly regrets having chosen to bottom this time around- he’s so at Geonhak’s mercy he feels tears of shame sting behind his eyelids. But then again, Seoho knows his treacherous dick would never work if he were the one to have to do the fucking while his boyfriend stared.</p><p>But it’s not as much Geonhak’s touches but rather <em> his words </em> that have Seoho kicking out at him until he pulls away with a laugh and lets him turn around. <br/><br/><em> You’re so pretty. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> Look at that you take me so well- who would have thought you’d behave so nicely? </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> You’re doing so well, raise your hips a bit- yeah like that. </em></p><p>There’s only so much a man can withstand. <br/><br/>“Enough- <em> enough </em> . Just- get on your back.” Seoho demands, and Geonhak’s cocky enough to smirk as he complies. <br/><br/>“ <em> Yes, sir </em> .” <br/><br/>Geonhak peeled his underwear off at some point whilst behind him. He's robbed Seoho of the pleasure of doing it himself- of finally revealing every inch of his body for Seoho's eyes to feast upon him. </p><p>Seoho can’t even be mad at him, though, as much as he wants to be. After all, so far Geonhak has done everything down to perfection. <br/><br/>And yet, Seoho can’t help it when he rolls the condom down Geonhak’s shaft extra slow- when he squeezes just the slightest bit hard to have the other hissing. He's so mesmerizing- thick and mighty and <em>leaking- </em></p><p>Geonhak's stomach trembles, and he runs a hand through his messy looking hair that even under these circumstances looks nothing but sexy. </p><p>Seoho's teasing ministrations have his face contorting in all kinds of sexual expressions that Seoho’s sure he’s seen before (One too many times when he secretly stalked him online.) But this time, they’re oh so real his mind reels. Seoho gets a twisted satisfaction from it all- a kind of power rush that gets him hard all the way and makes up for the slight softness he got from the discomfort of being so thoroughly prepared by Geonhak. <br/><br/>Then there’s a movement on the corner of his vision- Youngjo moves, as if a bit antsy, propping his feet up on the chair and pulling his knees against his chest. His expression, however, remains serene, not even noticing the other’s gaze on him. But his eyes are glossed over, trailing a finger lazily around his mouth, almost erotically- and oh. <em> Oh- </em> <br/><br/>“You’re so bad at focusing, aren’t you?” Geohnak chuckles when his hand stills without him realizing. Seoho huffs in annoyance and shakes his head to try and concentrate again. <br/><br/>“Shut up, ‘Hak.” <br/><br/>The nickname comes out of nowhere, and surprises them both- Seoho’s rendered useless in his own shock- cheeks tinting as though Geonhak hadn’t just fingered him into almost crying. <br/><br/>“Yeah, you are- let me help with that.” He mutters, bemused as he bits his lip and tugs Seoho down next to him before rolling on top and nudging his legs open with his own. <br/><br/>Geonhak kneels and his arms slide all the way from Seoho's chest and down to his knees, with feather-light touches that seem to beckon Seoho into his warmth, coax him into relaxing against the bed and let his legs fall just the slightest bit more open. Seoho's hands ball into fists against the crumpled sheets of the bed- as if they were the only fight left in his body when Geonhak leans down and kisses him hotly. So Seoho moans into his mouth, unabashedly yanking him close and bucking his hips up.</p><p>It would be a lie to say he hasn't wanted to do this from the second Seoho first saw him- but how could he have accepted that, being in a committed relationship as he is with such a wonderful man that he loves so, so very much? <br/><br/>Pondering the difficulties of juggling a relationship and a boner-crush is pointless when Kim Geonhak rolls his hips against his own and squeezes high on the back of his thigh. Everything is pointless except giving in and letting him do whatever he wants.  </p><p>Geonhak groans in delight at the friction, sneaks his hand under Seoho’s waist and slightly lifts him up against his body as though he didn’t weigh a thing- <em> Oh </em> . Seoho's eyes roll to the back of his head and he throws it back before deciding that enough is enough. <br/><br/>One more minute of this and Seoho will die of frustration. <br/><br/>Just in case, he takes one second to glance at Youngjo while Geonhak kisses down his neck and he bites his lip, eyes filled with questions. </p><p>His boyfriend is so very still, eyes fixed on him, mesmerized with the sensuous movements of their bodies before he notices Seoho's gaze on him and smiles. It’s a slight, almost imperceptible tilt of lips- something so subtle only Seoho would be able to catch it. <br/><br/>It’s permission- reassurance. </p><p>And it’s the only thing Seoho’s currently chaotic mind needs to find a second of peace and make a decision. <br/><br/>“Get inside.” Seoho orders in a rushed breath and Geonhak barely seems to react before Seoho feels the hand slide from under his waist and something blunt and definitely bigger than he calculated presses against him.</p><p>His heart pounds. </p><p> “<em> Now </em> , Geonhak.” <br/><br/>Seoho's whole world seems to fall apart for a moment before it comes crashing down together when he feels the surreal glide of Geonhak inside him. It’s so wet, Seoho almost feels himself drip as he’s nudged open- every centimeter of his body on fire, nerves protesting against the intrusion regardless of how he moans out in pleasure and pulls his knees up even higher. He tugs at Geonhak by the back of his hair until the other’s hips are flush against his- and then some more. <br/><br/>The pressure is unbearable- Seoho feels so tight the discomfort borders on pain. So he keeps his eyes shut, determined to keep his cool- he would never forgive himself if he broke down in front of Geonhak <em> and </em> Youngjo. It’s enough that he’s already this exposed and vulnerable, Seoho doesn’t need public displays of emotion on top of that. <br/><br/>So Seoho focuses on Geonhak’s breathing against his ear- the way he’s holding onto his hip so hard it could bruise. He sounds so very affected- every harsh exhale sending sizzling heat down Seoho's spine and right into the furnace between his legs. But time passes, and he feels comforted by the struggle he can hear coming from Geonhak’s voice. Too soon, his impatience beats any kind of discomfort he feels- arousal rendering him recklessly impulsive.  <br/><br/>“Geonhak.” Seoho whispers urgently, sounding beyond breathless, voice barely even audible in the room. </p><p>He’s so on edge, the second Geonhak rocks- almost instinctively- Seoho yelps and bites on his shoulder as a wave of white hot pressure washes over him. It makes him clench mindlessly, highlighting just how enormous Geonhak feels. <br/><br/>“Seoho you need to <em> fucking relax-” </em>Geonhak tells him through gritted teeth, before letting his hand travel south to help him with it. Geonhak caresses him gently, swirls his thumb on the head of his shaft as best as he can given the awkward position until Seoho can slowly drift his attention to the hand and try to relax. But it’s not enough- his hand is too dry, and in the end, Geonhak can barely move without Seoho’s body objecting stubbornly. </p><p>He doesn't want to deal with this- why, why, <em> why on earth would he ever agree to this, why would he ever think this was going to be a good idea at all- </em> <br/><br/>“Baby? Baby, look at me.” Youngjo’s warm voice suddenly reaches him from across the room, all thoughts melting in his head as he focuses on it. Seoho’s head falls to the side, their eyes locking and immersing him in a sudden, bottomless well of fondness. “It’s okay.” His boyfriend assures him kindly- and Seoho wants him close. He wants to touch him, to kiss him, to fall into his embrace. But then Youngjo bites down on his lip, and Seoho mindlessly notices the delicate pink on his cheeks- his swollen bottom lip, the way his chest rises unevenly. He shifts uncomfortably in his place- as if he were- as if- <br/><br/>Is he- Is he <em> turned on </em> ? <br/><br/>A loud little whine bubbles up Seoho's throat uninvitedly, and before he realizes, his hips rock on his own, almost naturally. It encourages Geonnhak to softly roll into him, his own hips moving sensuously and minutely, getting him used to his width, to him as he drags himself deliciously inside. <br/><br/>Seoho bites at his own hand to muffle the sounds that Geonhak coaxes out of him, thrusting inside resolutely until he has a nice, pleasant pace going that Seoho can follow along naturally. </p><p>His eyes don't ever leave Youngjo’s until Geonhak blocks his vision when he buries his face into Seoho's shoulder with an arousing little groan.</p><p>Seoho doesn’t know whether it’s on purpose, yet he welcomes Geonhak with an eagerness that surprises him. <br/><br/>His feet hook behind the lower of Geonhak's back as he hugs him close with his arms around the expanse of his shoulders. It feels as though Seoho had finally put down all of his walls- nothing to resist Geonhak anymore. There are no more fights to fight, no more insignificant defiance to put just for the heck of it. <br/><br/>Instead, Seoho relishes in the warmth of his body and the feeling of the other's bigger chest against his. Seoho likes the way he smells- like expensive, manly cologne he won’t ever be able to afford, but Youngjo would buy him anyways. Seoho likes that Geonhak is eager and forceful in his ways, always so confident- the way he always teases him, no matter how infuriating he is. He even likes the way Geonhak looks at Youngjo and how he’ll talk to him, an incomparable world of meanings passing through them that he’s found fascinating since day one. <br/><br/></p><p>Geonhak’s so good at what he does, soon enough he’s grunting against Seoho’s skin as he thrusts with abandon, the heat between their bodies too much for Seoho to properly breathe- yet when he tries to pull away, Geonhak turns his face for a sudden starving kiss. Geonhak moans into his mouth- and Seoho arches, tugging at his hair for more. More, he wants more, he wants to hear him-<br/><br/>It takes no time for Seoho to angle his hips just right that he has to choke a sob- pleasure so intense it borders on pain. Geonhak notices, his eyes following his every gesture. And oh, he notices alright, and makes sure to hit exactly there. He starts with slow, languid movements that have Seoho rolling his eyes to the back of his head, making him shiver as the other takes his sweet time driving him crazy. Then it’s fast, frantic, vigorous, ardent- the sound of skin slapping against skin so loud, so slick, it sounds obscene in his ears. <br/><br/>Seoho throws his head back with a particular sharp thrust, revealing the expanse of glowing milky white skin for Geonhak to feast on- and he does. He tugs at the back of his hair- a sharp little mean tug that's meant to surprise him more than anything. But it still stings deliciously- highlights every little kiss Geongak presses on his jaw, harsh and clumsy with all his movements, yet no less satisfying. <br/><br/>“Fuck- babe- you’re just so fucking pretty-” Geonhak’s low, shiver- inducing voice makes him moan quietly- but then, a sudden hand sneaks up his neck, startling him along the way Geonhak seems to pick up his pace impossibly fast. His hips pushing into him unrelenting, making Seoho's whole body surge forward with every thrust. Nails dig into the skin of his ass and Seoho's close, he's so close and desperate he clutches onto Geonhak's arms almost desperately- <br/><br/>“ <em> Geonhak.” </em>Youngjo calls out warningly at his sudden rough handling- and Seoho could sob out of frustration when Geonhak stops abruptly, as if burnt. </p><p>It's only then that Seoho feels the sting on his skin, the way his body throbs in all those places Geonhak hit too hard, pressed too hard, got a tad too eager about. </p><p>And oh <em> god, </em> how is he gonna break it to Youngjo that he liked all of it and actually wishes Geonhak had pressed <em> harder, faster- </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> “Shit, I’m <em> sorry- </em> ” <br/><br/>“No! No, It’s fine- I’m fine, just- god, please I can’t even-” Seoho is panting at this point, following the line of Geonhak’s stomach as the other sits up and slips out of him, leaving him uncomfortably empty, throbbing-  “I’m fine, really-.” Seoho insists to Youngjo, trying to look as reassuring as he can- but his voice is already screwed. It’s kind of impossible to pretend to be unaffected with the way his body seems to riot at the lack of warmth, the lack of <em> orgasm </em>. </p><p>Seoho never would have expected that the day would come where he'd curse at Youngjo's caring nature. Alas today's the day. </p><p>“Okay.” Geonhak’s face of guilt softens as Seoho sits up uncomfortably and gently brings him down for a kiss.</p><p>"Wow, look at you, worrying about me-" Seoho teases him, barely sliding their lips together before he pulls back, and then again, and again until Geonhak huffs and pins him on the bed again, entices a laugh out of him. </p><p>"Don't let it get into your head, babe. Youngjo would murder me if I hurt you-" </p><p>"Yeah, it's not like you're super into fucking me or whatever-"<br/><br/>“Fucking tease- turn around, let’s see if you laugh now.” Seoho rolls his eyes but obeys nonetheless- hiding half of his face on the pillow as he secretly watches his boyfriend’s entertained eyes. </p><p>Seoho refuses indisputably when Geonhak tries to manhandle him into his knees like before, but otherwise shakes his ass back invitingly until the other settles on top of his thighs and finally nudges against him with the tip of his shaft. <br/><br/>“I’ll get you on your knees one day, and you’re gonna love it -” Geonhak leans in and whispers hotly against his ear, tickling him and pushing inside in one go. And he does it so easily- Seoho’s body welcoming him right home as he moans obscenely loud. <br/><br/>Seoho lets out a little stuttered chuckle as he gets fucked into the bed, ignoring the implications that according to Geonhak, they’ll repeat this one day. <br/><br/>“You can try.” Seoho sasses, and relishes in the way Geonhak groans, how his hips stutter. <br/><br/>“Oh you’re such a spoiled brat-'' Geonhak apparently feels compelled to make him regret what he just said, for he pins Seoho’s hands against the bed and ravishes him like never before. Every forceful thrust pushes his legs wider and makes the friction against the bed more and more inescapable as his body gets used in the best way and gets turned into a whimpering, wanton mess. <br/><br/>“You’d like it if Youngjo did this to you, wouldn’t you?” Geonhak pants against his ear, shoving into him regardless of how Seoho gasps or squirms in surprise- and oh. Oh no, he can’t hear this, not now, not with Youngjo’s eyes fixed on him, as though mesmerized. Not when his boyfriend has the tips of his finger on his mouth, completely gone as he watches him get fucked on their own bed- “Can you imagine? How- how good he’d take you?” God- god <em> yes. </em> “He’s so fucking generous too- bet he’d lavish you so good- imagine his hands all over you, his mouth- bet he’d fuck you ‘til you cry and then he’d tell you you look pretty- he’d wipe the tears off your face- and then? Then he’d just keep going-” <br/><br/>And Seoho, who not even in his wildest dreams would have been able to conjure such a perfect mental image of Youngjo doing those things to him, comes to the dreadful realization that this, getting fucked like this by Geonhak is exactly what he imagined it would be. <br/><br/>With Youngjo. <br/><br/>Shame burns high and furious on his cheeks when the ardent shoves into him become way too much to handle. His mouth is agape, whole body searing with pleasure- and it feels so shameful, being watched while Geonhak fucks him open with deadly precise thrusts that have him almost sobbing into his pillow- begging mindlessly out of his mind while he gets thoroughly defiled. </p><p>He feels wet and dirty and slutty when he whines, high pitched and needy, and tilts his ass back for more wantonly- as much as his back can handle. <br/><br/>It’s feral, the way Geonhak takes him. It’s like Seoho rids him of all social decency- all that composed, perfectly crafted supermodel image he has shattering to reveal the stuff Seoho's erotic dreams are made of. </p><p>His deliciously strong thighs smash against his ass with unforgiving strength- and Seoho’s probably so red already, stretched wide open and swollen- but Geonhak won’t stop, his unparalleled stamina the kind of thing one can only ever dream of-<br/><br/>So when Geonhak sneaks a hand under Seoho's chest and wraps it around his neck- so big it feels like it could surround it completely- Seoho can only let a staggered moan before the other shoves all the way into him and grinds until he almost squeals. <br/><br/>"You’re the sweetest boy I’ve ever been with.” Geonhak whispers- and Seoho’s done for. <br/><br/>The dirty grind forces his hips well against the bed that the friction is enough to topple him over the edge- and the last thing Seoho sees is Youngjo’s face of pure, utter desire before his eyes roll to the back of his head and the most intense pleasure sweeps through him. <br/><br/>It’s white, electric heat that burns and melts him against the bed, leaving sparks in its all-encompassing path, skin tingling pleasantly and leaving him thoroughly satisfied as he comes all over his sheets. <br/><br/>Seoho pants against the crook of his elbow as Geonhak stays still inside of him, Seoho's body clenching and unclenching tightly around him with the remains of his orgasm. <br/><br/>“Go on.” Seoho tells him, cheeks glowing a pretty red and eyes peacefully closed. “Finish what you started.”<br/><br/>That’s all it takes for Geonhak to take over and get himself off in a hot minute. Seoho almost feels used- but he doesn’t think he minds. He kind of always wanted to know what this would feel- <em>kind of makes me wanna fuck you ‘til you come- and then keep going.</em> <br/><br/>It stings, nerves on fire while he allows it regardless of how his body twitches in protest- Geonhak’s dirty grinds forcing little whines out of him until tears gather in the corners of his eyes. But Seoho doesn’t care- it turns almost therapeutic after a while. All he has to do is lay there and take it nicely.  </p><p>When Geonhak finally comes, Seoho feels it so clearly, it almost makes him want to go again- but his body is exhausted, the overstimulation taking a toll on him and when Geonhak finally pulls away, he swears he sobs at how sensitive he is. </p><p>Then everything turns cold. And he doesn't feel so good anymore. <br/><br/>“Seoho?” Geonhak runs a hand through his back when he finally gets off him and he can breathe again, shivering slightly from the sudden cold that overtakes his sluggish body. “You okay?” His voice is so uncharacteristically soft- <em> why? </em> Seoho doesn't like it, it makes him frown. <br/><br/>“‘M ok.” Seoho mumbles noncommittally and hopes Geonhak will leave him be. He doesn’t want to deal with him right now- he barely has the energy to open his eyes, let alone deal with the fact that he just fucked his boyfriend’s best friend. Much less come to terms with the fact that said best friend was hands down the best lay of his <em> life- </em> <br/><br/>“Dont worry, I’ll take care of him.” Youngjo’s voice reaches his ears and Seoho stomach flips on him. He rushes into a sitting up position, completely ignoring the soreness of his body, the fact that he’s so dirty, and he probably looks so gross right now- </p><p>"<em> Youngjo </em>."</p><p>“Hey, how are you feeling?“His boyfriend asks with a frown as he sits down next to him on the dirty bed, caressing through his sweaty hair tenderly- and Seoho, who usually downright purrs at this kind of treatment can barely even feel it, as he searches desperately with his eyes- and finds what he’s looking for right away. <br/><br/>Youngjo’s pants are tented. <br/><br/>"Youngjo- I-” His voice cracks, and it doesn’t take long for his boyfriend to follow his line of vision and understand his intentions. <br/><br/>“Ah- Don’t worry about it-” The older says dismissively, but Seoho can’t even hear him, can barely even think straight- <br/><br/>“Let me, let me please let me, please-" Seoho pleads, out of his mind with all the feelings that are currently going through his head and he might <em> cry </em> if Youngjo doesn't allow him this. </p><p>"I-" </p><p>"I'll give you some privacy." Geonhak announces, completely forgotten by Seoho by now, who can’t even muster the energy to send him a guilty look when Geonhak gets off the bed and goes to take a shower. </p><p>Youngjo doesn't look at Seoho until Geonhak's out of sight, taking his hands gently and untangling them with care from where they are suddenly clutching on his thigh in fierce need. "Baby… I don't think it's a good idea, you're all shaken right now-" </p><p>"I'm <em> okay </em> . I'm fine- just please let me do this for you-" Seoho needs this. He <em> needs </em>this. </p><p>"It may not work, babe, you know that." Youngjo is searching in his eyes for something- and whatever it is he finds is enough for Youngjo to exhale, shoulders sagging in what seems to be quiet consent. </p><p>"Just- just close your eyes. Please." Seoho urges, hands trembling already- </p><p>Youngjo does, albeit with wary hesitation. His eyebrows are knitted together when Seoho leads him to lean back against the headboard with jumpy excitement but tortuous care- as if he had just been trusted with something precious. And it is. There’s nothing more precious than Youngjo’s body, his trust. Himself. <br/><br/>Youngjo doesn’t need to open his eyes for Seoho to see just how very vulnerable he feels- the way he’s never seen him this fragile, or how defenseless he must feel. <br/><br/>So when Seoho opens his pants, he does it with all the patience he doesn’t have- gathers all the tender care with which Youngjo handles him everyday and refuses to lose this chance, nor ruin this for his boyfriend. <br/><br/>It’s far from the first time Seoho sees his boyfriend naked, and yet he can’t help but stare in awe, swallowing at the sight as soon as he lowers the other’s briefs. He peppers kisses all over his boyfriend’s neck first, down his shoulder, gauging his every reaction before he decides not to risk it by tempting time and just goes for it, lowering his head and- <br/><br/>"Ah- Seoho…" The little broken complaint has him retreating frantically- the squeeze he gets on his shoulder screaming that Youngjo is far from comfortable with this. </p><p>"Just my hand then. Is my hand okay?" Seoho bites his lip, eyes stinging already, hating how small his voice sounds- especially now that he should be a source of trust and comfort and reassurance. </p><p>Youngjo takes a moment to reply, an excruciating few seconds that almost make Seoho pull away and ask for a million of apologies until Youngjo's face finally relaxes, a little stuttered sigh seeping through his lips.</p><p>"Yeah...just- stay close, yeah?" </p><p>"M'here." Seoho assures him as he buries his face in his boyfriend's neck and inhales- thinks he could sob in relief that he's being allowed to continue. </p><p>It takes a second for Seoho to find the lube and get back to Youngjo’s side- And Youngjo is so perfect, so warm and pliant and stays so still for him even though Seoho can feel his stomach quiver as he slides his hand down his clothed stomach, as if warning him where he is, giving him every second he needs to decide whether he wants this or not. And when Seoho finally reaches in between his legs, he holds his breath- unable to even think. All that matters is Youngjo and Youngjo in his hand, how he feels, how he breathes, every little movement in his face. </p><p>"You looked really pretty." Youngjo whispers through gritted teeth, one of his free hands blindly tangling through Seoho's hair and scratching gently in the most radical contrast with the way Geonhak has treated him. </p><p>Seoho presses a kiss against the other's throat, mouths at it lazily and basks in their little moment. He's so pleased, his body soft and warm and sated- next to the man he loves. This beautiful man that's given Seoho his heart, his soul and now finally his body as well. Seoho thinks this would be heaven- if his hand wasn't about to cramp. </p><p>"Tell me. Tell me how pretty I looked." Seoho demands, swirling his thumb at the tip in a way that makes Youngjo flinch out a moan. He tightens his fist and speeds up his game- Seoho would love to drag this out, to savour this moment for as long as he can. But he's determined to make this good for Youngjo, so good that even if he never lets him do this again, Youngjo will at least have the best orgasm of his life thanks to him. </p><p>"<em> Fuck </em>, so pretty. Think I could write a song about the way you cried out, and- and the way you looked at me I-" The hand in his hair tightens- still in a way gentler manner than Geonhak and Seoho knows he won't last for long.  </p><p>"I thought about you, Youngjo- thought about you the whole time- I love you, I love you so much-"</p><p>Youngjo comes in his hand, his whole body shivering visibly and his mouth slacking, lips pink and inviting- so much so Seoho can’t help but tug him into a kiss. </p><p>A real kiss. Soft but wet and heated, deep but loving and so very satisfying. It's the best kiss Seoho's ever had, and he'll treasure it forever. </p><p>"Thank you." Seoho says as he latches onto his neck, hugging him so tightly Youngjo has to make an effort to breathe. "I love you, I love you, I-"</p><p>"Shhh, I know. I love you too, Seoho." Youngjo says, running his hands up and down his back comfortingly, so sweetly it may make him cry. </p><p>"Gosh, I'm sorry, did I pressure you? I- fuck, I'm really so sorry, I was out of my mind and I-" </p><p>"Hey, hey, look at me." Youngjo stops him, cradling his sweaty, dirty face and all and making him look at him. "You did nothing of the sort. I'm okay, and you did perfect- you're perfect, baby." </p><p>Somewhere in his drowsy mind as he lies on Youngjo's chest while Youngjo tries to clean him up without jostling him much, Seoho hears the shower being opened just now- and he wonders whether he heard the bathroom door being closed at all.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tHANKS FOR READING &lt;3 lmk what you thought! </p><p>Also, in case you wanna come yell at me in cc--&gt; <a href="https://curiouscat.me/eclipseoho">(eclipseoho)</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>IM SORRY I PROMISE THIS IS FR THE LAST TIME I MAKE THIS LONGER. </p><p>This was suPPOSED to end here but I felt like it needed a bit more to properly close so imma post a sort of epilogue when I can &lt;3 </p><p>Warnings for this being a whole rollercoaster of emotions i aint even jk lmao seoho feels way too many things they all do. Also. Unbeta'ed 8)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>.<br/>
</b> <b><br/>
</b><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<em> You’re the sweetest boy I’ve ever been with.  </em></p><p>Seoho messes up his wet hair roughly as he tries to ignore the phantom feeling of Geonhak's hands all over his body. He's buried within the comfort of th couch as he waits for the bad feelings to die out, completely ignoring the others' presence in the living room with him. </p><p>His head is fuzzy, white noise ringing through his ears emphasizing the emptiness he feels inside- he barely feels like scrolling down his phone at all, which should be treated as a remarkable milestone in his life considering his blatant social media addiction.</p><p>Seoho should feel elated- tonight is nothing but a win, everywhere you look, from each and every angle. And yet the ugly, engulfing feeling of annoyance crawling up his chest, that voice that tells him he’s an idiot for letting Geonhak do all those things to him won’t leave him alone, won’t allow him to even bask in the afterglow of what could have been the solution to all of his problems.<br/>
<br/>
“I should leave.”<br/>
<br/>
“Don’t be an idiot.” Seoho tells Geonhak without even looking up from his phone, annoyed at the sound of his voice alone. “It’s raining cats and dogs and half the town is flooded- Youngjo has a futon.” </p><p>It's the second time this evening that Seoho’s the one telling Geonhak to stay. He can’t believe he has to be the adult between the two, considering it’s Geonhak the one who usually overflows with easy, mature assertiveness. But something about his demeanor changed drastically, and by the time Seoho had came out of the shower, Geonhak was acting in a way that reminded Seoho of a dog receiving their owners with the kind of crestfallen expression that screams <em> I misbehaved. </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> Seoho's the only one sitting on the ample couch, scrolling down his phone mindlessly as if his brain was actually processing anything he sees- It’s a borderline real problem at this point, he knows, but Seoho hardly has any energy to look at either Youngjo nor Geonhak in the eyes, much less start breaking years and years of bad habits tonight.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho sighs heavily when silence spreads uncomfortably throughout the room, for a tad too long that he knows he’s being watched. So he’s forced to raise his head, eyes flickering from Youngjo, who’s clearing up the dining table, to Geonhak- who’s meters away from them, by the bedroom door. He’s got his pants on- thank <em> god- </em> but his shirt is still unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up casually and looking ready to do a photoshoot if it weren’t for Seoho’s nail marks all over his chest. He looks severely out of place, head slightly down and only ever peeking through his eyelashes to take unreadable glimpses at Youngjo.<br/>
<br/>
His boyfriend doesn’t say a thing as he averts his eyes and piles up the rest of the plates, unusually serious.<br/>
<br/>
“I just meant to give you some time to be alone-” He directs at Seoho, but barely ever glances at him when he says it, feeding into the source Seoho’s inner fiery anger.  </p><p>So what? Geonhak can touch him <em> everywhere </em> and now he isn't even worth a <em> look </em> ?<br/>
<br/>
“Not a child, Geonhak- you didn’t break me or anything.” Seoho deadpans, rolling his eyes in a clear display of irritation. “You don’t have to act like this- this whole post- sex male guilt bullshit- that let me tell you, it comes from a deeply rooted, fucked up heteronormative and pathriarcal perception of sex-”<br/>
<br/>
A loud, deafening clash comes from the kitchen out of the blue, sending cold freezing remorse through Seoho’s body. He swallows drily when he sees Youngjo suddenly coming out of the kitchen, a plastic smile on his face that couldn’t cover the tiredness in his eyes even if he actually tried.<br/>
<br/>
“Okay.” Youngjo asserts, drying his hands with a rag as he walks towards them. It’s eerie, to say the least- the kind of intimidating sternness that Youngjo rarely displays. “I don’t know what’s up with you two. I’m sure you both have much to talk about, but it’s been a weird night for me as much as it’s been for you two and I don’t think I have the energy to be around to hear it- just <em> please </em> , be civil.” He says, leaving no room for arguments as he lets the rag drop on Seoho’s phone- a silent order to quit it with his attitude.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho kind of hates it when Youngjo treats him like a petty teenager- but then again, he’s kind of being one.<br/>
<br/>
His boyfriend enters the room for a moment, leaving them both alone to ponder in silence before he emerges, carrying sheets and a set of clothes with an arm against his body. “I’m gonna get the futon ready in my studio.” Youngjo announces- then pauses for a moment and turns to Geonhak, resting a kind hand on his shoulder. “You’re always welcome here, Geonhak.” He tells him, and Seoho can’t see it from his angle- yet he knows, he can perfectly visualize the earnest look in his eyes as he says it.<br/>
<br/>
As he passes by, Youngjo lets his hand softly caress Seoho’s cheek, ever so mindlessly tender that Seoho can’t help the pang of guilt in his stomach- how he suddenly feels small and immature the second he’s reminded of Youngjo’s wise, kind and constant love.<br/>
<br/>
And then he’s gone.<br/>
<br/>
And Seoho’s seconds away from standing up and locking himself in his room- nevermind that would be an extremely unreasonable, very dick move of him. But the logistics of having to walk past Geonhak to do so eventually convince him against it. </p><p>It's just a conversation, right? They just fucked. A conversation really shouldn't be a big deal at all. </p><p>But then there's that pressure again- the heat of his body's memory that's stubbornly reminiscing Geonhak's hands and body over and over again- not letting him think, feeding the angry fire Seoho doesn't seem to want to put out. </p><p>
  <em> Are you gonna let me touch you? </em>
</p><p>Seoho shivers- he'll do this, if only for Youngjo.<br/>
<br/>
So he exhales theatrically and sets his phone aside along with the rag, eyeing Geonhak with inexplicable disdain, who’s tapping his bare foot on the floor incessantly. He grimaces.<br/>
<br/>
“Stop that.” Seoho commands and vaguely motions towards the one-seat sofa that nobody ever uses. “And stop with the wet puppy face, it’s really unflattering for you.”</p><p>Geonhak chuckles at that, reluctantly pushing away from the doorframe but otherwise obeying without as much as a peep. It sits well with Seoho, erasing some of the edge off and allowing him to at least look at Geonhak with something other than <em> your proximity repels me. </em><br/>
<br/>
Not that it’s really true- But Seoho’s never been good at opening to people, and some resistance is bound to come out, he thinks, as he tries to rationalize his sudden change of heart- the way his body recoils at the idea of having been touched. </p><p><em> You’re just so fucking pretty. </em><br/>
<br/>
“I’m sorry.” Geonhak clears his throat as he leans forward with his forearms on his thighs, the epitome of a manly power pose, even though Seoho knows he doesn’t even mean it. He’s rubbing his hands together, and Seoho can’t recall having ever seen him carry such sincere hesitancy in his ways- as if for the first time ever, he didn’t have a single idea of how to go about the whole situation.<br/>
<br/>
It’s strangely comforting.<br/>
<br/>
“I didn’t mean to go all-” A huffed little laugh. “ <em> Patriarchal</em>, on you- I’m not like that. It’s not about who fucked who, it’s just-”</p><p>"It’s okay." Seoho interrupts, softened up by Geonhak’s honest tone, his forthright ways and the yearning to be understood. “I get it, <em> I’m </em> the one with the sore ass and the bruises- It’s whatever.” </p><p>Geonhak looks at him with surprise- but there's something else, something that flashes through his eyes. Relief, probably.</p><p>For the first time ever since Geonhak intruded in his life, Seoho feels like he's got the upperhand. It doesn't really matter that Geonhak pushed him face down and fucked him until he made him cry- because now he's the one who looks like he’ll cry if things don’t go back to normal. Or well, whatever it is that men like Geonhak do instead of crying like the rest of them mundane human beings do.<br/>
<br/>
"Ah, sorry about that." Geonhak sends him half a smile, unable to properly meet his eyes regardless of how the mood has shifted already. </p><p>A scoff. "Are you really?" </p><p>Geonhak shrugs, trying to repress a full quirk of the lips that pushes through anyways. "Youngjo told me you were kind of into-” A pause as he runs an agitated hand through his damp locks. “Fuck, sorry. Shouldn't have mentioned that, forget I said anything." </p><p>The betrayal Seoho would have felt had he known earlier that Youngjo talked about his sexual preferences with Geonhak doesn't feel as feral now that they've all collectively gotten rid of the unbearable sexual tension. Instead, Seoho finds himself curious and ever so slightly -extremely- fond that his boyfriend wanted to make sure that he got thoroughly and properly satisfied. </p><p>"What did he say?" Seoho prompts, and their eyes finally meet again.</p><p>And what eyes those are, Seoho thinks, that even if he isn't underneath Geonhak anymore Seoho feels pinned in place by them. </p><p>The other seems to ponder the consequences of actually replying, but eventually, he does. "That you may have mentioned you liked to be roughed up a little." </p><p>"You call that a little?" Seoho arches his eyebrow, eliciting a manly, heart fluttering little chuckle from Geonhak. </p><p>"He likes that too, you know?" He comments, running a hand through his hair yet again, glancing at the way the rain slides against the glass of the window. "Watching it, I mean.”<br/>
<br/>
“I gathered.”<br/>
<br/>
The way Geonhak looks at him when he says it feels as though he were aware of not only everything that happened with Youngjo- but also, the undeniable print it has left in the depths of Seoho, like the only thing that has ever remained from the surreal encounter with his boyfriend. The only thing that assures Seoho it did happen, and it wasn’t just a mere fantasy of his wishful thinking and the years of yearning.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho swallows. </p><p>“Did you guys do that a lot? I mean the whole-” He waves his hands awkwardly, hoping to get his point across.<br/>
<br/>
Geonhak shakes his head slightly with a little huff of laughter. “Not really, it was just a dumb thing that started because Youngjo doesn’t know how to knock, even when <em> there’s a sock on the doorknob.” </em> A pointed look. <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> Seoho hisses in reply, barely able to imagine the awkwardness of the situation.  “Ouch.”<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah well- the boy I was with obviously disagreed with you, because he invited him over- imagine my surprise when he said yes.”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho knits his eyebrows together and leans forwards, his whole body betraying an interest he would rather not wear so openly. “He didn’t tell you he was into that?”<br/>
<br/>
“I didn’t even know Youngjo was ace, Seoho. We- we were never officially together, but we had this <em> thing </em> going back in college- I thought he didn’t want to mess with our friendship or something, but then he told me and things started to make sense. It wasn’t that he didn’t like me, we… just wanted different things.”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho stays quiet, calmly processing his feelings with a lack of jealousy that surprises him. But then again… what has happened tonight changes everything, he thinks. Everything about his relationship with Youngjo has turned upside down, even if things go on the exact same way.<br/>
<br/>
“I think we could have been something-” Geonhak continues after a beat, with the face of someone who’s feeling his words as if he were living in them again. “But I was young and dumb and didn't really like the whole feelings thing, being tied down- all I wanted to do was have fun and get laid. Youngjo knew that, and he still stayed." Seoho isn't sure why he's hearing all this, but he doesn't dare say a thing, too afraid to ruin what he thinks it's one of those most unique moments in life.<br/>
<br/>
The earth-shattering knowledge that Youngjo loved him back comes as no surprise, and Seoho’s sure that, whether he wants to admit it or not, he’s known all along. </p><p>"What he did back there- the way he let you touch him?" Geonhak shakes his head, his soft smile conveying sweet awe that fills Seoho with moving pride. "He trusts you so much, Seoho."<br/>
<br/>
There’s no room for something other than sympathy anymore, the incomprehensible feelings of rejection coaxed into stillness as he connects again with Geonhak. The real him- the kind that’s still partly a stranger to him- albeit not for much longer. </p><p>Parts of Geonhak may make him a stranger to Seoho, but he is no stranger to Youngjo- and if Youngjo knows him, he's bound to be no stranger to him either. </p><p>Seoho says nothing. </p><p>Sometimes, there are so many words to be said, it’s easier not to say them at all. </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p><br/>
“I think we should have talked more beforehand, I might have meddled too much and maybe that’s why-”</p><p>"How do you feel?" Seoho interrupts. He hasn’t heard a single word Youngjo has said, too busy with his own thoughts while he stares at Youngjo from under the covers, back against the headboard. His boyfriend is getting on his bed clothes, the expanse of his back bare for Seoho to appreciate- as though it were a work of art.<br/>
<br/>
Yet there’s something different about it now- whereas Seoho would normally avert his gaze, heavy guilt lodged in his stomach and body simmering in sickening self-reproach, Seoho can only feel grateful now. He feels warm, appreciative affection that blooms and wraps around him like an inner hug- and he mildly wonders, is that what Youngjo feels for him every time he sees him? Does he never feel that burning heat that makes it hard to breathe and threatens to consume you whole? </p><p>"Baby-'' Youngjo huffs out a laugh, combing through his hair with his hand as he walks towards him as soon as he’s dressed. There’s no trace of the previous tension that overtook him now that they’re alone again- Geonhak’s too far away to hear them. “While I appreciate you looking out for me, I’m not the one who just got roughed up in here-'' Youngjo sighs out an overly- acted lament when he tilts Seoho’s chin up to check on the redness on his neck. "I didn’t think you were <em> that </em> into it, though...”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho puffs out his pink cheeks and tugs Youngjo’s hand away, not in the mood to be teased right now. “ <em> Youngjo.” </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> “I’m <em> fine. </em> ” He replies with the kind of attitude of someone who has repeated it one too many times already- and yet the fondness in his eyes doesn’t diminish. “It felt good.  No, for the fourth time, you didn’t pressure me and I don’t have to tell you this doesn’t change how I feel about sex- now, can we <em> please </em> get some rest and tackle this tomorrow?”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho swallows as the other gets inside the fresh new sheets next to him. And for the first time, as though their roles were reversed, Seoho wants to talk about this. He needs to know what’s going through Youngjo’s head, what he’s feeling, what happens next, what did it all mean? And oh god, this is <em> torture- </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em>Youngjo smiles up at him in amusement as he lays down properly. “Are you gonna stare at me all night or-?“</p><p>"Do you like him?" Seoho blurts out, before he can even think it through. </p><p>"I…”<br/>
<br/>
“Sorry- forget I said anything- you’re right I’m all shaken up-”<br/>
<br/>
“I used to.”<br/>
<br/>
Silence.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho’s breathing is loud in his ears, as if the whole apartment was bathed in silence- as though if he tried hard enough, he could even hear Geonhak in the other room, the rustling of the sheets as he turns in the uncomfortable futon, mind overworked as much as his own.<br/>
<br/>
Youngjo sits up excruciatingly slowly, ignoring just how hard Seoho’s heart is pounding in his chest- how he can't withstand a single more second of this before he honest to god <em> screams- </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> “I might have a special place in my heart for him.” Youngjo begins, searching for Seoho’s hand and gently bringing it to his lap. It reminds Seoho in a flash of what they’ve done tonight, the way Youngjo let himself be touched, what he looked like, what he <em> sounded </em> like- and he’s so thankful Geonhak’s been thorough enough with giving Seoho pleasure that it’s impossible to have an <em> accident </em> in the middle of this type of conversation.<br/>
<br/>
His boyfriend swallows, eyebrows knitting together as if he were trying to choose his words carefully.<br/>
<br/>
“But... our chance passed a long time ago. We're just friends now." Youngjo states, and smiles assuringly- always so kind, always so <em> perfect- </em>“Don’t dwell on it. There’s nothing for you to worry about-”</p><p>"I don't think he sees it that way." </p><p>"Seoho." Youngjo is <em> flustered </em>- and Seoho doesn’t even hear himself think with the slick, loud sound in his ears.</p><p>"Just- just why <em> him </em>? Why did you choose him?"</p><p>"Because he’s the only person I'd ever trust to take care of you- of us." Youngjo’s frowning, unused to the way Seoho’s questioning like this, adamant to be listened, each and every emotion out in the open for the other to see, so very clearly. He feels as though a door has just been opened, and Youngjo doesn’t need to knock insistently for Seoho to reply anymore. Instead, it’s him the one who's trying to push it wide open and tug Youngjo inside.</p><p>Seoho shakes his head in troubled agitation, rubbing his forehead with his free hand as he tries to untwist the tightly tied up knots that hide in between those two.</p><p>Geonhak. Youngjo. They’re so intricately entangled, a disarray of dusty feelings and unsaid words that have his mind reeling for a moment. And then, a spark of understanding, something so ephemeral that Seoho can barely grasp it before it dims away into nothing, as Youngjo anchors him back to reality.<br/>
<br/>
“Seoho.” He calls softly, stopping his angry hand and holding it on his lap alongside with the other. “Stop torturing yourself over this-”<br/>
<br/>
“But-”<br/>
<br/>
“You’re enough.” Youngjo tells him gently, adamantly, cradling his cheeks tenderly as he looks into his eyes with nothing but care. “You are. Stop worrying.”<br/>
<br/>
But it’s not worry exactly what plagues Seoho’s chest, what makes him want to pull away and scream against a pillow in frustration. It’s not fear, it’s not dread at the idea of Youngjo sharing his affections what has Seoho seconds away from telling both him and Geonhak to go to the very hell and back- <br/>
<br/>
And yet, he cannot find it in himself to say a thing- because he doesn't even know what he's supposed to say. Instead, Seoho purses his lips and leans into the touch, letting it all die inside.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho understands what Youngjo means- because to him, Youngjo is enough too, Seoho thinks as he buries into Youngjo’s embrace and ignores the growing, seething guilt - a new type. One that’s been growing ever since Geonhak left him on their bed.</p><p><br/>
…</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You’re the sweetest boy I’ve ever been with </em>
</p><p><br/>
Seoho isn’t sure what he wants when he quietly untangles himself from Youngjo, careful so as to not disturb his peaceful rest- god knows he needs it. <br/>
<br/>
Sleep eludes him, every time Seoho feels as though he’s about to be wrapped and taken into dreamland, some intrusive thought pulls him right back. He supposes the sleep deprivation he’s been building up in anticipation for this past evening- his encounter with Geonhak- may have to do with his sudden bravery. Or maybe his defenses are so low by now, exhausted beyond belief and he’s desperate, hoping seeing Geonhak- the current source of all evils in his life- will somehow break this sort of restless curse.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho tiptoes barefoot across the dark apartment and finds with relief that the studio door’s ajar. So he slips in before he can think about it much. He doesn’t even have time to wonder whether Geonhak’s asleep before the other turns all of a sudden, the slight light coming from the window highlighting his disoriented expression for a moment. The rain has stopped, thankfully, and Seoho can clearly see the messy bed hair the other sports. He looks softer, disheveled, clad in Youngjo’s oversized clothes that give him a more youthful, approachable appearance.</p><p>He looks like the kind of dream boy Seoho would have fallen hopelessly in love with back in college- after a single one night stand.<br/>
<br/>
Frankly hilarious, considering how close that is to the real thing.<br/>
<br/>
“Couldn’t sleep.” Seoho whispers, in lieu of a greeting, standing there awkwardly as Geonhak sits up with a rough exhale.<br/>
<br/>
“You’re not the only one.” Geonhak mumbles as he rubs his eyes, voice so low Seoho can barely even catch it in the quietness of the room. He gets closer- Geonhak’s eyes following his every move with guarded interest until he has to look up from how close Seoho stands.<br/>
<br/>
“I keep- I keep thinking about it.” The murmur is so weak, Seoho almost thinks Geonhak doesn’t hear him- he almost hopes it gets lost in the dark room and left forever forgotten. But something in the other’s expression hardens, a sudden wake up call that makes his mouth twitch almost imperceptibly. </p><p><br/>
“Seoho…”<br/>
<br/>
“ <em> You’re the sweetest boy I’ve ever been with?” </em>Seoho mimics quietly, the words that have been resounding in his head for hours now wrenched out of him as if by force, unable to hold them in anymore. “You can’t tell me you just go around saying things like that.” </p><p><em> You can’t tell me others have heard that- that you didn’t mean it. </em><br/>
<br/>
“It was just sex.” Geonhak replies slowly, as though it pained him to say the words.<br/>
<br/>
A little derisive laugh escapes Seoho’s mouth in disbelief- hurt. “Fuck that, Geonhak, you don’t kiss people like that and pretend like it’s <em> nothing-” </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> “What do you want me to say, Seoho?” The other suddenly hisses as he stands up, keeping his voice low but fierce enough that Seoho can hear the other’s emotion in it. “That I liked it more than I should have?”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho’s compelled to step back, mouth agape as he inhales sharply in surprise. It’s the closest Seoho’s ever seen Geonhak to being mad, who keeps stepping forward as if refusing to let him get away.<br/>
<br/>
“That I can’t stop thinking about it? That I wish I could kiss you just for the heck of it- well, there you have it, what good does it do now?”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho swallows, letting out a ragged, shaky breath when all his suspicions get confirmed. And then it hits him. </p><p>
  <em> You’re enough. </em>
</p><p>It's all pointless.<br/>
<br/>
“I feel like I fucked up, Geonhak. What did we just do- Youngjo <em> knows, </em> he must have noticed-” He’s crumbling, hands shaking at his sides and he can hardly control himself, all he wants is to throw his arms around Geonhak’s neck and feel his warmth again, bury his face deep into the juncture of his neck and shoulder and breathe him in until his lungs are filled with him- and how can he do this to Youngjo? When he made all this effort to make him happy? When he looks at him in the eyes and tells him that he’s enough, how can Seoho be so selfish and tell him he wants <em> more- </em><br/>
<br/>
“Seoho? Hey, it’s okay- it’s okay.” Geonhak soothes, as he grabs him by the elbows and tugs him in against his chest with a profound sigh of resignation. Seoho rests his squished cheek on the other’s shoulder and closes his eyes, sniffing before he can realize there are tears flowing down his cheeks- god he’s such a <em> mess- </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> “When Youngjo said you were fragile I didn’t think he meant it like this-” Geonhak’s gentle, husky laugh blows softly against the top of Seoho’s head, as though it were a soft kiss. And Seoho basks in it, closes his eyes and lets himself be hugged despite his raging regret and the jittery unease of doing this behind Youngjo’s back.<br/>
<br/>
“M’ not.” Seoho says petulantly, voice coming out childish and muffled- which hardly helps his case.<br/>
<br/>
“Whatever you say, babe-”<br/>
<br/>
“God you both are insufferable-” Seoho grumbles as he pulls away reluctantly, angrily wiping his cheeks dry. “Talking behind my back and shit, that’s literally- literally <em> so rude </em> .” </p><p>Geonhak laughs, high pitched and loud that Seoho ends up covering his mouth with his hand in a haste, shushing him harshly with wide panicked eyes. He doesn’t let go until Geonhak’s shoulders stop shaking, even if he’s distracted by the pretty crinkle of his eyes when they almost disappear in mirth.<br/>
<br/>
But as heart-stoppingly frightening as it is, the prospect of being discovered- as though they were doing something wrong, something forbidden- Seoho can’t help but relax. Geonhak’s laughter is healing in ways he has never really noticed before, and it releases most of the heavy burden that squeezed his chest and made it hard to breathe.<br/>
<br/>
Nonetheless, Seoho squints threateningly at Geonhak as he slowly uncovers his mouth, silently warning him against making any loud sound at risk of disturbing Youngjo, and only ever relaxing when Geonhak makes a zipping motion in front of his mouth.<br/>
<br/>
“Good. You get ugly every time you open your mouth anyways- no wonder you’re a <em> model-” </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> “Oh, is <em> that </em> how you wanna play?” Geonhak backs him up against the wall threateningly, voice low, dangerous- that same fiery glint from earlier sparks in his eyes and sends warm, ticklish thrill all throughout Seoho’s body. Geonhak gives him an obvious onceover as he puts a hand on his waist, the other palm on the wall, next to his head and effectively caging him in. “Oh, Seoho, if you weren’t Youngjo’s-” He stops himself, smirk softening in mild regret instead before Seoho can hear the silent promises in his eyes.  <br/>
<br/>
“Nevermind.” Geonhak retreats eventually. “You’re safe- Youngjo would kill me if I did anything to you.”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho’s lips part, body relaxing against the wall as he exhales softly. He’s too exhausted to fight against that little box in his heart that’s filled with feelings to the brim, always at the verge of overflowing as Seoho keeps punching more and more inside. And keys will be useless. Chains won’t work anymore- nothing will prevent them from wailing free the second Seoho stops pushing it close with body and mind.<br/>
<br/>
Seoho doesn’t want to know the catastrophe they’ll cause the day it bursts. Because Seoho <em> will </em> burst if he doesn’t do something about them- and maybe, at some point, he already has. Because somehow he’s found himself in Geonhak’s arms in the middle of the night, pressed between him and the wall- a perfectly safe place to begin to talk.<br/>
<br/>
“You need to stop pretending you only care about me because of him, ‘Hak.” Seoho swallows, so many little things make so much sense now, that he can’t even tackle them all. "That stopped making sense when you kissed me like-" he trails off. "Like you wanted to keep me."<br/>
<br/>
Geonhak pulls away with a softened expression that erases any trace of cockiness he had before. “Seoho…I could never do that to him." </p><p>“Because you love him.” Seoho blurts- can’t even fathom why he’d say such a thing. He doesn’t gain anything from it- except maybe opening wounds in Geonhak that haven’t yet fully healed. And he should be jealous, he should be burning with jealousy, furiously protecting his love- and yet, how could he be, when Seoho knows exactly what it is to love Youngjo and to yearn for his love back?<br/>
<br/>
“Because he’s my <em> friend.” </em>Geonhak completely peels himself away from Seoho with a forlorn, tired expression. Desperation bubbles up Seoho's chest- he grabs Geonhak by his wrist, forces him to stay and look at him. “Seoho, what the fuck are you trying to do right now-”</p><p>“I’m trying to talk to you both but you won’t <em> listen-” </em></p><p>"God you're both <em> so </em> loud."<br/>
<br/>
Seoho freezes in place, cold, thorny panic running through his body when he turns his head and finds himself staring into his boyfriend’s sleepy eyes. </p><p>Geonhak pulls away in a flash, as if burnt. He takes a long step backwards that makes him stumble against a chair ungracefully- it is only a wonder why he doesn't topple backwards and falls on his ass. Seoho certainly wishes he had. <br/>
<br/>
Youngjo takes one quick glance at them both with his half opened eyes and then sighs tiredly. He crosses his arms over his chest to keep himself warm as he fully enters the room and quickly makes himself comfortable by sitting cross-legged on the futon- as though he hadn’t just caught his boyfriend and best friend centimeters apart in a dark room in the middle of the night.<br/>
<br/>
“I should have known getting you two together was a one way ticket to troubleland.” Youngjo yawns, unbothered, then runs a hand through his hair, taking it all so casually Seoho doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. </p><p> "I- we weren't doing anything-" Seoho tries, throat clogging up with dread and still paralyzed against the wall.</p><p>"I know." Youngjo soothes and sniffs as he wraps the sheets around his back as well as he can.</p><p>"I don't know why I'm here." Seoho blurts, at the verge of tears again already.  </p><p>"Okay." </p><p>"I just couldn't sleep." </p><p>"I know.” A pause. “You moved a lot." </p><p>"And- and-" </p><p>"Baby. I'm not mad." Youngjo finally cooes and motions for Seoho to sit down next to him- which he does wholeheartedly, wrapping his arms around Youngjo’s waist and burying his face on the other’s warm neck, almost desperate to convey his apologetic state. “This is on me- we should have talked before we slept but I didn’t stay.”<br/>
<br/>
“I should make some coffee and leave you to it-” Geonhak clears his throat, back to hard eyes and a body language that screams uncomfortable.<br/>
<br/>
“Sit down Geonhak.” Youngjo orders out loud as Seoho gently unwraps himself to look at Geonhak’s stunned expression- even if he obeys surprisingly docile, sitting on the chair that almost sent him flying to the floor. “This concerns you too.”<br/>
<br/>
The silence that takes over is deathly. Seoho feels it making his skin crawl, stomach uneasy with the palpable tension in the air that makes it thick and heavy, hard to take in. His palms are clammy, and there it is again, that heaviness in his tongue that won’t let him think nor speak.<br/>
<br/>
“Baby?”<br/>
<br/>
“I-”</p><p>“Seoho’s afraid you had misunderstood things between us.” Geonhak interrupts, sending Seoho a pointed look that seems to warn him against opening his mouth. “I got carried away and I said things I shouldn’t have-”<br/>
<br/>
“No.” Youngjo interrupts him with a little hollow smile. “It’s my fault. We didn’t set any boundaries beforehand, how could you have known? I’m the one who knows you both, I should’ve known it would be messy to involve you in the first place and I still did-”</p><p>"No, I screwed this one up myself-"<br/>
<br/>
“Oh <em>fuck</em> <em>you both-</em> always so self sacrifying and shit- do I not exist here?” Seoho snaps all of a sudden, in disbelief about the way he’s being treated- as though he was a child who didn’t have a say. As though he hadn’t taken decisions and shared responsibilities about the whole ordeal.<br/>
<br/>
“Seoho!" Youngjo's eyes are wide and concerned, almost scandalized.<br/>
<br/>
“No! See, I thought I was the problem here all along- but look at you both!” Seoho stands up and puts some distance before Youngjo can ease him and he loses his momentum. “You’re always talking about me behind my back, keeping secrets about your past and shit- if you’re not gonna be honest with me, then at least be honest with each other, for god's sake-”<br/>
<br/>
“Baby, you really have no idea what you’re talking about.” Youngjo replies calmly, though his voice wavers. And Seoho’s furious, fuming-<br/>
<br/>
“Then <em>ask him.”</em> Seoho dares Youngjo, who looks ready to either storm off or stress clean the whole apartment at who knows when in the fucking ungodly hours before dawn.<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t know why you’re bringing him into this-”<br/>
<br/>
“He's right." Geonhak blurts, all of a sudden, quieting them both and sending the room into another wave of dreadful, expectant silence after Seoho’s abrupt outburst. "I'm not being honest." </p><p>Seoho stops breathing as he watches Geonhak’s crestfallen expression, eyes firmly fixed on the floor, as frozen as one can be. </p><p>"What does that even mean?" Youngjo has turned cold- cold and emotionless in a way that looks unusually ruthless. Whatever it is Geonhak's going to say, Youngjo doesn't want to hear it.<br/>
<br/>
“I stayed because of you, Youngjo.” Geonhak begins, slowly. "I was going to stay a few weeks in town for my family- and then I was gonna move again. Start over with the dance studio somewhere new- but then you messaged me and I suddenly had a change of heart. It’s stupid, I know- “ A little dry laugh, and the sound is more heart wrenching that Seoho wishes to admit. Youngjo’s face is unreadable- but Seoho’s known him for long enough to know that at the very least, it’s not anger what he hides beneath that bleak look in his eyes. “I said yes to this whole thing with no intentions of going through with it- just another excuse to stay close, I guess.” Geonhak shrugs, then scrunches up his nose. “But then I met Seoho- you.” Their eyes meet for a single moment, and Seoho’s knees almost give out under him. “You just had to make it so hard not to like you, huh?”<br/>
<br/>
Seoho stares, thinking of all those times where he was beyond awful to Geonhak on pettiness alone and almost snorts openly at that. But he doesn’t- one misstep risks making this whole moment fall apart, and Seoho’s determined to see it push through.<br/>
<br/>
“I thought the thing tonight would get you out of my system- but-” </p><p>“It isn’t news that you like Seoho, Geonhak.” Youngjo interrupts, that harshness in his eyes now translated to his voice. “You made it abundantly clear tonight-”</p><p>“Are you seriously going to hold it against me when you practically begged me to meddle-”<br/>
<br/>
“<em>Excuse me-?” </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> “- just <em> what else </em> did you expect when you messaged me to meet your boyfriend so that I could-”</p><p>“Right, yes, because it’s <em> my </em> fault you forgot how to separate sex from feelings all of a sudden- you were always so good at pretending feelings don’t exist, <em> forgive me </em> from thinking that was still the case!”<br/>
<br/>
Youngjo’s breathing is laboured- a knife wouldn’t be enough to cut through the thick tension hanging in the air, and Seoho’s lost, lost in every sense of the word, unable to do anything but stare, as if he were just part of an audience. Because there they are again, harder, tighter- the million of knots that bound Youngjo and Geonhak so tightly- and now, he’s one of them, too. Another knot, another spot in their history.<br/>
<br/>
“Right.” Geonhak might as well be trembling, Seoho thinks, looking at everywhere but them. He stands up roughly and Seoho nothing but flinches, because the way he looks around indicates that he’s trying to search for his things and leave and Seoho cannot let that happen. He even has the childish instinct to try and hide them from him- if only to force him to stay.<br/>
<br/>
“Geonhak, there’s no need to-” Youngjo, who’s already regretting his cruelty, tries to appease him- but something tells Seoho Geonhak’s temper is a force of nature and no amount of sweet words will change his mind that easily.<br/>
<br/>
“For what’s worth, Youngjo, I really am sorry.” Geonhak doesn’t let him finish as he spots his clothes on a little stool in a corner of the room. “I meant it back then and I mean it now.”</p><p>It takes a moment for the twig to snap, but when it finally does, Seoho understands that there’s no other way to fix this except letting everything he’s kept tightly shut in that box all this time just break free. </p><p>Things cannot get worse anyways. <br/>
<br/>
“I like Geonhak.” He lets it fall from his lips, as though letting the inevitable just happen before his eyes. “I don’t wanna stop seeing you.”<br/>
<br/>
Geonhak halts all movements and regards him with the kind of defeat and impotence that tell Seoho that he’s not the only one exhausted from all this. They are all, he thinks, as he sits down next to Youngjo again. Youngjo, his precious boyfriend, who follows him with liquid eyes full of frailty.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m sorry- I am.” He whispers as he tentatively intertwines their fingers together on Youngjo’s lap- almost sheepishly. And the other accepts it, holds his hand lovingly and holds it tight, like his determination not to let him go.<br/>
<br/>
“It’s okay.”<br/>
<br/>
“No, you don’t have to be okay with everything Youngjo-”<br/>
<br/>
“It doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice now, do I?”<br/>
<br/>
“You do.” Geonhak reassures as he sits back down, dragging the chair closer, enough that he could reach out and touch Youngjo too, should he want it. “You told me once Seoho came first, right? Well, now you do. Just one word from you and I'll happily step out that door-" </p><p>"That's not what I want, Geonhak. None of us. I've only just got you back."<br/>
<br/>
Seoho’s breathing trembles when Youngjo’s grip hardens, and so, he presses closer and glances at Geonhak- hopes to any god that’s willing to listen that they’re on the same page on this. </p><p><em> I think we could have been something </em><br/>
<br/>
<em> I might have a special place in my heart for him </em><br/>
<br/>
<em> You were always so good at pretending feelings don’t exist. </em> <em><br/>
</em><br/>
Knots, knots, knots. So many of them.<br/>
<br/>
<em> I've only just got you back </em></p><p>But in the end- one single tug, and that’s all Seoho needs for it all to come undone and reveal that simple, obvious truth he couldn't see before.<br/>
<br/>
“You guys still love each other.” Seoho speaks, like a soft epiphany that was long overdue.<br/>
<br/>
There’s hardly any room for protest with the shock he causes, turning these two large sized grown men into nothing but startled eyes and coloured cheeks that Seoho would have a thousand remarks about if only he weren’t trying to get somewhere here. </p><p>"You called Geonhak because you said he was the only one you trusted to take care of us- so you know he loves you, and he wouldn't do anything to hurt you-"<br/>
<br/>
Youngjo stills, all kind of feelings passing through his eyes and mouth agape- truly and utterly speechless as he tries to keep up with everything that Seoho’s saying. "Baby, I- it's complicated-" </p><p>"No, just. Just <em> listen </em>. Both of you.” Seoho cuts him up, tired of being treated like he needs to be appeased, protected. “If you can sit down and watch me have sex with some other dude just because I'm a horny little-" </p><p>"Seoho!" Both Youngjo and Geonhak call out at the same time, dissipating some of the tension in the room. </p><p>"<em>I mean</em>,” Seoho elaborates with a light eye roll, unwilling to discuss the semantics of his self deprecating tendencies and deviate from the topic at hand. “If you did that for me and… and you trust me that much-"  But he isn’t exactly good with words- never has been- and his riveting momentum seems to come to a halt, causing him to drag a dramatic hand down his face in frustration. </p><p>"Seoho… "</p><p>"I just trust you, okay?” Seoho babbles in the end, because he won’t ever find the right words, and it’s about time he accepts eloquence is not his forte- but that’s okay, because in the end, Youngjo’s there with him, to catch him if he stumbles through his speech.<br/>
<br/>
”I trust you both.” He directs at Geonhak, slowly but surely learning how to shift his attention between the two of them. The other’s shoulders relax, his body so big that it feels like it completely falls apart as it drains his uneasiness.<br/>
<br/>
“And I love you, Youngjo. And you do so much for me, and- and if you ever need to go to someone else -just like I needed- then…” He swallows drily around the knot in his throat, knowing that should he not say these words, Youngjo will never understand his heart. “Then I'd rather it be Geonhak." </p><p>It takes a long while for Youngjo to take the words in, understanding dawning upon him little by little, word by word, until there’s nothing but pure raw love in his soft, caring eyes. It’s love so deep it’s endless- like a whole universe inside of him that’s solely dedicated to him. </p><p>"If you'll have me." Geonhak whispers quietly from his place, and Youngjo laughs- emotion filling his voice and making it obvious that he's fighting down tears.</p><p>"God, what did I get myself into?" Youngjo whispers and puts a hand on Geonhak's knee, enticing such relief in him, Youngjo ends up being sandwiched between the two of them on the futon. "Since when are you actually good at this?" He questions Seoho, looking strangely sheepish but also glowingly proud of him. </p><p>It makes love swell up in his chest. He shrugs. "Maybe not being sexually frustrated for once helped." </p><p>"Anytime babe." </p><p>"Shut up, 'Hak." </p><p>"I'm gonna regret this." Youngjo mumbles in between them and Seoho squeezes his hand with a little chuckle. </p><p>"We'll make it work." Geonhak encourages, sliding an arm over Youngjo's shoulders and scratching the back of Seoho's head with a soft smile that Seoho gives back, leaning into the touch. </p><p>Things aren't clear yet- there's much to talk about, and he knows one sleepy, emotionally driven conversation is far from a permanent fix. But for now, he embraces it gladly. </p><p>Because Seoho knows that if the love Youngjo and him share is like a universe, then it's vast and endless- and such depth always has space for more. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm not super happy abt how this turned out so lmk what you thought!!<br/>Mwah mwah tysm for putting up w me &lt;3</p><p>(In case you wanna come talk to me, here's my cc  <a href="https://curiouscat.me/eclipseoho">(eclipseoho)</a>)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>fOUR mOnths later and almost 40k that were sUPPOSED to be only 10k (lmao), I present to you THE END. </p><p>Warnings for: mentions of diet?? Its minimal tbh. Slight smut. fEELINGS. Youngjo being lowkey domish which me thinks is hot. Also so unbeta'ed, bcs who cares about proofreading amirite-aNYWAYS.</p><p>I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The image in the mirror should be way more bothersome than it is.<br/><br/>To the foreign eye, Geonhak may not look any different than he did a mere couple of months ago. But Geonhak can see it all, every little detail in his body, every imperfection, all the minor, imperceptible changes ever since he quit modelling- along with the wonderful privileges that came with having a manager that arranged a perfect schedule for you.  <br/><br/>Geonhak notices his fuller figure, the slight roundness of his face, how his muscles don’t show as they used to. He notices the black roots that greet him mockingly every morning- a painfully annoying reminder that he’s currently too broke to do anything about them. There are bags under his eyes, minimal spots on his face- consequence of the lack of expensive skincare that he can’t afford nowadays. He’s red from all the physical exertion that painting day proved to be. He’s sweaty and dirty, blotches of white staining his clothes and his skin. If Geonhak tilts his head back, he can even spot the red marks down the column on his neck- courtesy of Seoho and his cute new habit of latching onto Geonhak’s neck when he’s bored and antsy (a surprising turn of events that Geonhak’s all too happy to accommodate).<br/><br/>But there’s also a smile- a tilt of the lips, something so easy and natural that seeps right through his exhaustion. His parents insist they haven’t seen him smile like that in a really long time- and he wonders, how much of this newfound contentment he owes to Youngjo’s unexpected antics that led him right into both his and Seoho’s arms.<br/><br/>“Hak- Geonhak, are you listening?”<br/><br/>“Yeah?” Geonhak turns around, locking eyes with Seoho’s deadpan ones, who’s sitting on the middle of the floor, uncaring of how dirty it is. He’s dressed in all white, shorts riding up to reveal delectable looking full thighs- thighs that Geonhak can’t seem to stop thinking about lately. The white hand prints he’s left on them, along with the one on his nape are the perfect proof of his guilty, mild obsession. Seoho wears them with pride, practically flaunting them. He’s taunting him, and even though Geonhak is aware the other has discovered just how easy he’ll get on his knees for him, he still falls for it, like an idiot, and can’t help but almost tremble with the need to touch him some more. Especially if it’ll get those little sounds out of Seoho that leave him aroused for <em>days-</em><br/><br/>“Youngjo.” Seoho waves the phone in his hand pointedly, abruptly snapping him out of his reverie. “He’s asking what we wanna eat.”<br/><br/>“Oh- right, yeah. Uh, anything with vegetables for me.” Geonhak shrugs as he walks across the large room, utterly ignoring Seoho’s knowing eyes following his every step- he’s sure he sees him smirk mischievously, and Geonhak curses the day he told Seoho point blank that he meant each and every mindless little word he’d said the first night he had Seoho underneath him.<br/><br/><em>I’m the sweetest you’ve ever had? </em>Seoho laughed, delighted, soaring high on the praise and Geonhak flushed, so bright and fiery he had no other choice but to kiss Seoho stupid to conceal it while Youngjo kept peacefully napping nearby.<br/><br/>“Pizza it is, then.” Seoho states after he deems Geonhak uninterested, and starts typing right away before Geonhak can even protest.<br/><br/>“Hey! No, I’m serious-”<br/><br/>“Ugh, shut up, I’m tired of your abs anyways, it’s time they take a break.” Seoho mumbles with a little roll of his eyes and yelps faintly when Geonhak snatches the phone away from his hands without acknowledging the smitten little flip of his heart at Seoho’s antics. “Geonhak! Give it back!”<br/><br/>“See this is why Youngjo calls me for these things. You’re a menace.” Geonhak mutters as he reads over the conversation, smiling faintly when he skims over Seoho’s complaints about Geonhak overworking him and the million emojis Youngjo has sent him in reply.<br/><br/>God he’s so whipped. So whipped for them both.<br/><br/>“Wow, first of all, mean. Second, you’re like so into it. Third-  oh, come on, we’ve been working on your studio all day, we deserve it and I’m sick of you pretending like you need to diet.”<br/><br/>Geonhak snorts, the whine in Seoho’s voice unable to coax a single drop of pity from him as he shakes  his head fondly and smirks at Seoho before sending a little wink just to sour his mood even further. If he’s lucky enough, Seoho will huff and try to leave, giving Geonhak the perfect excuse to hold him by the waist and manhandle him into staying- then hopefully kiss him some more against the freshly painted walls. Geonhak hardly cares anymore.<br/><br/>“You’re insufferable.” Seoho huffs and lays down on the floor instead, staring at the ceiling in indignation and ruining all of Geonhak’s plans. Alas, a man can only dream.<br/><br/>“I’ll make it up to you, babe.”<br/><br/>“You always say that.”<br/><br/>“And have I ever lied?”<br/><br/>“...No.”<br/><br/>“Exactly.” Geonhak asserts as he walks over Seoho’s place on the floor and crouches down next to him to run his dusty hands towards the other’s equally dusty hair. Seoho doesn’t normally let himself be touched in this way- as though the gentle fondness of his hands were all too heavy to withstand, unlike the rough, urgent manhandling he gets from Geonhak when things scream anything other than platonic. Geonhak can’t help but revel in the little display of trust he’s been gifted just now. “You’re just bad at patience.”<br/><br/>“And you’re a sadist that enjoys watching me suffer.”<br/><br/>Geonhak laughs loudly, a high- pitched melodic laugh that echoes all throughout the large, empty room. Before he can reply though, a sudden weight impacts against him, sending him flailing straight into the floor with a grunt.<br/><br/>“I liked you more when you were still too scared to touch me after Youngjo gave you a free pass.” Seoho claims as he straddles his lap calmly- as if he hadn’t just pounced on Geonhak like a wild animal. And Geonhak kind of likes the contrast, that wild side Seoho keeps mostly sheltered until something (read: Geonhak’s teasing) makes him snap.<br/><br/>“Free pass.” A snort- that’s definitely not how Geonhak remembers that long conversation going. Much less considering the fact that said <em>free pass</em> was- and still is- tied to the condition that Youngjo consents beforehand. “You know you’re bad at lying, give up, baby.” Geonhak tries to get up but hisses as Seoho pushes his upper body flat against the floor with both palms on his broad chest.<br/><br/>“You tried to get me horny all day and now you call me <em>impatient</em>-”<br/><br/>“I’d say I was pretty successful-” Geonhak interrupts, hands squeezing Seoho’s thighs and travelling upwards pointedly, right on the juncture between his thigh and-<br/><br/><em>Slap</em>.<br/><br/>“Kim Geonhak, I swear to god, feint a handjob again and I’m dumping you.” Seoho threatens, eyes hardening around the lustful glint they carry- something Geonhak has learnt to decode not long ago.<br/><br/>Geonhak simpers and raises his hands in surrender. He locks eyes with the beautiful man on top of him- and he feels so lucky, the blooming happiness tickling under his skin as he slowly lowers his arms on each side of his head, palms up and relaxed, utterly yielding to whatever it is Seoho wants to do with him.</p><p>"Dumping me? That sounds suspiciously like you're calling me your boyfriend- I thought we said no labels?" </p><p>"No labels." Seoho confirms, but there's meaning behind the glint in his eyes. "Not that I'd want a to date an <em>asshole</em> that enjoys watching me in <em>pain-"</em></p><p>“You know teasing is all I get to do unless Youngjo’s around.” Geonhak reminds Seoho, softly, as though gently breaking through their playful mood and tugging them back to the terrenal boundaries. But once Seoho’s in a mood…<br/><br/>“Then call him.” Seoho dares, hands slowly creeping up Geonhak’s shoulders in a way that’s nothing if not sensual, igniting that all familiar fire under his skin despite himself. He squirms under the tormenting ministrations- Seoho notices, and the smirk that tugs at his lip is all too delectable to miss. “Call him and tell him you’ve been acting like a horny teenager all day and made me do all the work while you did nothing but ogle at me and touch me- and-” Seoho sighs, and Geonhak can feel the way his thighs clench involuntarily against his sides, sees the way his lips part, little by little giving into the feelings he’s expertly avoided all day- as though he had finally lowered his defenses.<br/><br/>“Seoho…” Geonhak swallows drily, but can’t help the way his hips buck into Seoho’s own, enticing the most excruciating little noise of pleasure and- “Fuck, <em>no. </em>We need to behave- both of us.” Geonhak tries as he sits up, yet finds himself face to face, millimeters away from Seoho’s mouth, and before he knows it, Seoho’s hands grab him by the nape and bring him down for a hungry kiss that he gives into all too easily.<br/><br/>When they finally arrive at Youngjo and Seoho’s apartment, an hour later, it’s obvious painting is not everything they’ve done. From the dry paint clinging onto his clothes and skin, as well as the telling swell of bitten lips and the red marks scattered across the neck, it all screams <em>guilty. </em> <br/><br/>Youngjo takes one look at them and sighs heavily. “Seriously, you two?”<br/><br/>“We kept our clothes on?” Seoho tries with half a smile, all tense shoulders and good intentioned repent as Geonhak tries not to burst out laughing.<br/><br/>Youngjo slow-claps sarcastically, as though such minimal display of self-control warranted a congratulations. Then he stops abruptly.<br/><br/>“You’re both on kitchen cleaning duty.” Youngjo states solemnly, pointing a finger at them- but they all know he can’t stay serious for long, and as soon as Seoho clings to him happily, whining to get a less tortuous punishment, Youngjo breaks into a brilliant smile. Geonhak lets them have their little moment, always cautious as to not intrude beyond what he’s already allowed, feeling like one misstep and he’ll be kicked out of the only thing that has felt right in his life for a really, really long time- no matter how strange it may seem for the rest of the world.<br/><br/>“Hey, ‘Hak. Wanna sleep over? I’m tired of Youngjo talking about how you still haven’t gotten a bed for your new place.”<br/><br/>But then Geonhak remembers he too is a part of this beautiful strangeness they’ve created, and he laughs, prey of the shower of affection he feels inside out. He’s not an intruder. He never has been.<br/><br/>“I’d like that.”<br/><br/>…<br/><br/>Things didn’t start as seamlessly as they feel now, Seoho thinks. He doesn’t know exactly when spending the day alone with Geonhak went from a stressful event filled with guilty tension and awkward moments- that warranted calling Hwanwoong beforehand to vent into almost calling everything off- to this. It’s hard to tell the exact day seeing Youngjo walk out the door to meet with Geonhak for any other than work made him less of a worried ball of anxiety and more like a ball of excitement at the prospect of having the apartment all to himself for a few hours.</p><p>However, Seoho has the slight suspicion that it can all be traved back to that fateful afternoon after a long shift at the pharmacy when, unaware of the painful emotional journey that awaited him, he opened the fridge only to find it filled with blue gatorade.<br/><br/>“Did you finally get over your aversion to colorant in food or-” Seoho asked as he draped himself over Youngjo’s back while he worked on his pretty digital art.<br/><br/>“Mhm?” Youngjo’s hands were beautiful- especially when he had that dainty hold on pens that made them look all the more graceful. “Oh that?” Youngjo asked as he spotted the half drunk bottle of gatorade on Seoho’s left hand. “No, that was Geonhak, actually. He came along to do groceries and put them on the cart for you- he said you told him you like them. I still think they’re poison though.”<br/><br/>“I did?” Seoho blinked in confusion, enticing a little shrug from Youngjo who was too focused to properly engage in conversation.<br/><br/><em>"</em><em>If that isn't blue-colored then I don't want it</em><em>”</em><br/><br/>Seoho soon left his boyfriend alone in favour of sitting on the couch and staring at the bottle of gatorade for two minutes straight.<br/><br/><em>I think you broke him. </em>Youngjo sent to their brand new group chat later, a photo of him sitting dumbly on the couch attached to the message only for Seoho to die of embarrassment, he’s sure.<br/><br/>Geonhak didn’t reply- thank god. But as expected of someone who oftentimes spoke with his actions rather than his words, he visited a day or two later, a plastic bag filled with gatorade that he wordlessly left on the table as he chatted away with Youngjo as if he hadn’t just stole Seoho’s heart without even a single look.<br/><br/>Which brings Seoho to the present day, where he finds himself leaving the shower after a long day of hard work only to find Geonhak managed to sneak out and get him an undisclosed blue beverage that he nicely leaves on the middle of the dining table- as if a mindless accident. Seoho’s heart hammers against his ribcage, sending such a surge of pure raw fondness up his chest he might as well throw up.<br/><br/>The responsible for all of his evils? In the kitchen, unaware, oblivious, too busy flirting with Seoho’s boyfriend,-the asshole- to notice the fact that he’s just swept him off his feet for the third time in a week- something that feels dangerously similar to falling in love all over again.<br/><br/>He looks beautiful. But then again, Geonhak always looks beautiful. His hair is damp from the shower Youngjo forced him into, skin glowing prettily under the warm lighting that makes his smile look all the sweetest to him. It’s Youngjo who draws it out of him. Seoho can hardly understand what they’re talking about as thoughts and feelings whirl inside himself and don’t even allow him the privilege of understanding his own language.<br/><br/>There’s something about him, the way he squeals and doubles in laughter when Youngjo tries to pinch his side in punishment for whatever dumb thing it is he said. Seoho knows now just how charmingly childish Geonhak can be if one only lets him. And perhaps it’s just that, Seoho thinks, how utterly human he looks in his eyes now that Geonhak let go of that unreachable model aura that turned him hostile in his mind. Seoho’s sure Youngjo had much to do with the fact, little by little coaxing him out of that rigid shell of his. He can’t tell what Youngjo does, all he knows is that every time they come home alone, Geonhak appears brighter, louder, free.<br/><br/>And then there’s Youngjo, whose aura of perpetual contentment seems to have reached such levels of serenity Seoho is slightly worried Youngjo will accidentally reach a state of nirvana in his sleep one of these days. <br/><br/>Watching them together still feels strangely surreal, but intricately beautiful, like a puzzle building itself on its own.They’re healing, Seoho thinks, but they’re not quite there. There’s a distance still, a cautiousness, things that will take days - if not weeks- to find their respective place.<br/><br/>“Ah- sorry about that.” Geonhak says, breathless out of the giggles Youngjo pinched out of him as he enters the living room and finds Seoho standing there, blue coloured bottle in hand. He’s dressed in his boyfriend’s borrowed clothes- a subtle sign that Youngjo has decided he’ll stay the night, and it sends a wave of excitement down Seoho’s spine, warming up his body and flushing his cheeks. “They didn’t have any gatorade left so I bought that one- “<br/>Thing is, Seoho doesn’t even <em>like</em> gatorade that much, but there Geonhak is, driving him mad over a drink Seoho’s only ever bought himself willingly a handful of times before.<br/><br/>Seoho’s childish logic demands that Geonhak pays for making him feel like a blushing teenager having his first crush all over again- and what better revenge than giving him the best head he’d ever had, right?<br/><br/>Seoho is going to blow him tonight. He is going to blow him so damn good, Geonhak won’t be able to forget his mouth for the rest of his <em>life</em>- that will teach him a lesson alright.<br/><br/>“Are you trying to make him fall for you or make me jealous? I still can’t figure you out.” Youngjo comes from behind him, arm purposely sliding against the side of Geonhak’s waist after he’s set the plates on the table. His chin hooks on the other’s shoulder playfully, looking at Seoho with coy, knowing eyes that seem to want to beckon him to join in.<br/><br/>“Neither.” Geonhak replies with that deep voice of his that somehow still manages to sound weak and forced to Seoho.<br/><br/>Youngjo clicks his tongue. “Then it's both.” He states and winks at Seoho as he leaves to bring the food.<br/><br/>“God, save me. He’s torturing me because we made out today without him.” Geonhak tells Seoho helplessly as he slumps on the chair, like a big man- child that isn’t single-handedly starting a business and maintaining an undisclosed relationship with two people while still working out and visiting his mother on Sundays. All that ignoring the fact that he’s just moved into a practically empty apartment and hasn’t complained even once in the two weeks and a half he’s been sleeping on a matress on the floor.<br/><br/>“Serves you right.”<br/><br/>Seoho really does want to blow his mind away. Pun intended.<br/><br/>It’s not until an hour later that Seoho puts his plan into action.<br/><br/>Geonhak’s head rests on Youngjo’s lap on the couch as they watch some boring historical show Seoho cannot care any less about- he’s been outvoted because democracy among three people <em>sucks </em>and Seoho needs to accept that if Geonhak is to stay, he’ll never get to watch any fun shows ever again. So Seoho sits on the floor out of pettiness- and maybe because it gives him a deliciously perfect access to the lower part of Geonhak’s body.<br/><br/>Seoho waits and waits and waits until well into the middle of the first episode, waiting for Geonhak to completely lower his guard before he attacks.<br/><br/>Sheltered by the darkness of the room, Seoho’s hand creeps up Geonhak’s legs- slow, tentative, taunting- until he finds himself reaching exactly where he wants to. The tension in the muscles under his palm, the light rustle of Geonhak’s feet tell Seoho that he’s gotten the desired effect.  <br/><br/>Geonhak’s own hand is quick to stop him- the warning squeeze he gives his fingers enough for Seoho to whip his head to him with a smug smile, eyes meeting in a wordless game of dare.<br/><br/>Say, or not say. Do or not do. <br/><br/>It all comes down to how much they want Youngjo to notice it.<br/><br/>And Seoho wants it. Seoho wants it a lot.<br/><br/>He has kept very nice and quiet all this time pretending as though he didn’t think about it. Constantly. As though the mere idea of Youngjo’s warm eyes on them didn’t ignite in Seoho a hunger and a fire that has his knees weak and his throat dry- the kind of fire no amount of water in the world would be able to smother. The kind of prevalent thoughts that become fantasies at night, and push Seoho kilometers back in all the progress he’s made regarding the whole <em>not thirsting about his own boyfriend </em>dilemma.<br/><br/>He’s been so very well behaved all this time- ignoring the minor accident later today that was exclusively Geonhak’s fault, thank you very much. Seoho deserves this- scratch that, he’s earned it.<br/><br/>So when Geonhak shakes his head slowly, warning him against it, Seoho has no better idea than to climb on the couch, the already cramped space way too small for him to fit in without pushing Geonhak’s legs apart impatiently. And oh, what a sight that is. Geonhak sprawled like that, one leg on top of the backrest as the other hangs off the edge, head pillowed on his boyfriend’s thigh as he stares back with helpless, glassy eyes. Powerless- powerless and beautiful and hence unable to do anything other than wait anxiously for whatever Seoho has in store for him. It’s an extremely flattering look on him, Seoho thinks, already too dazed to carry out a supposed mastermind plan.<br/><br/>“Seoho-'' Youngjo calls out of a sudden, eyes filled with calm curiosity that veils the pleasant surprise Seoho’s impromptu initiative causes in him. Seoho craves to show him exactly all the sides of himself Youngjo has had the misfortune of missing.<br/><br/>“Mhm? What? I’m just bored.” He all but purrs with faux bashfulness, eyes sparkling with mischief as he presses both palms on the sides of Geonhak’s hips and downright basks in the way the other’s solid body gives into the pressure, sinking into the cushion. Seoho shifts to comfortably kneel between Geonhak’s legs and bites his lip coyly,  thumbs teasingly massaging into the clothed juncture between Geonhak’s thigh and hip. He pretends not to hear the little terrified sigh that comes out of the man underneath him- wonders what goes through Geonhak’s pretty head as he keeps his compliant hands over his abs, fists crumpling his shirt and gifting Seoho with the beautiful sight of the v- shape of his low stomach. It would make him give into his distress if only he wasn’t set on making Geonhak pay for- for… for <em>everything!</em><br/><br/>“You said we could if you weren’t left out- so can I?” Seoho asks Youngjo cheekily, coaxing an amused smile from his boyfriend whose hands already run through Geonhak’s hair with unhurried softness- as though soothing him for the torture he’s sure Seoho is soon to put him through.<br/><br/>The show keeps running in the background, already forgotten, and the light casts beautiful shadows on both of their faces, sinking Seoho further and further into the bottomless ocean of desire.<br/><br/>“Shouldn’t you ask him first?” His boyfriend raises his eyebrows pointedly as though trying to rein him back in- his voice sounds so very cautious, it’s obvious that this is uncharted territory for him and Seoho is all too delighted to take charge for once. Under him, Geonhak’s breathing hardens, harsh and uneven- it’s like music for his ears.<br/><br/>“Sounds to me like he wants it though, right, Geonhak?” Seoho coos, slightly belittling Geonhak for the very first time. And isn’t it intoxicating, the way Geonhak proves to be way too dazed to snap back, nodding dumbly with bewildered compliance, loud, obvious desire written all over his face- his body. Seoho can’t even help it when he palms him through his jeans indulgently and lets Geonhak’s little groan of satisfaction wash over him.<br/><br/>“See?”Seoho hums, with all the smugness he seems to have stolen from Geonhak. “You’re prettier when you keep your mouth shut.” The teasing rushes straight in between Geonhak’s legs- that much is obvious, Seoho notices smugly.</p><p>But Geonhak still seems to be struggling internally- does he want this enough to let Seoho step all over him, figuratively speaking? Or is his pride more important than his dick? But the cloud of lust that hangs all around him seems to convince him that Seoho’s mouth on him is worth sacrificing his dignity, because in the end, he stays nicely put as Seoho works on his pants- though not without getting a slight permissive nod from his boyfriend first, who quietly slumps against the back seat, ready to enjoy the show.</p><p><br/>“Should I move- you’ll strain your neck like that.”<br/><br/>“Look at you being all nice to me!” Seoho exclaims in mocking excitement- all to mask the fluttering he feels in his stomach at Geonhak’s increasingly caring impulses for him. “I didn’t know you could be this sweet. The <em>sweetest-”</em><br/><br/>“Keep that up and you’ll be the one pinned to the couch-” Geonhak snaps in annoyance as he gets the most infuriating teasing little strokes from Seoho, who is so obviously trying to rile him up, Geonhak should know better by now than to allow himself to be so easily provoked.<br/><br/>Youngjo laughs- the traitor- but Seoho doesn’t find it funny at all, as he promptly slips his hand inside Geonhak’s borrowed sweatpants and briefs and easily squeezes the prettiest gasp out of him.<br/><br/>“I don’t think so. I think you kinda like it when I’m mouthy.” Is mumbled cheekily, and he earns a pair of indignant groans at the terrible pun, followed by that little choked laugh from Geonhak that fills him with the prideful drive he needs to finally slip him free and lean over to take him in as far as he can in one go. The two pair of watchful eyes observing every inch that slides past his lips is, without a doubt, one of the most embarrassing while simultaneously arousing experiences of his life, a furnace in the low of his belly that sends waves of heat and fire all throughout him.</p><p>Seoho thinks it an out of body experience.<br/><br/>Any attempt at teasing and finesse flies out the window the moment Geonhak bucks into the heat of his mouth without warning, making Seoho choke out of surprise and send him a warning look.<br/><br/>And this is it then, that’s all the leverage he’s been allowed to have over Geonhak, Seoho laments when he pulls out in order to sass Geonhak into making him fuck his mouth. All in all, Seoho considers, that will be fun enough to make up for the lack of <em>having Geonhak at his mercy.</em><br/><br/>But as Seoho straightens up, the sight of Youngjo tugging at Geonhak’s hair in reprimand stuns him into stillness- in shock and disbelief of the scene that unfolds in front of him.<br/><br/>“Be nice, Geonhak.” Youngjo chastises him, tone gentle as ever despite the threatening hold that makes the other hiss. Seoho would think his boyfriend unaffected, if only the breathiness of his voice didn’t scream that he’s anything but.<br/><br/>“<em>Fuck- </em>okay. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll behave.” Geonhak promises as he swallows under the heavy weight of Youngjo’s unusually hard gaze.<br/><br/>“Go on, baby.” Youngjo encourages then, adressing Seoho and releasing his hold on Geonhak's hair only to go back to his kind hair strokes with a contrasting softness that makes Seoho dizzier and needier than he already was. <br/><br/>But Geonhak is impatient, and though he won’t move, Seoho can see it in the antsy twitches as he does his best to keep nice and still. That, along with his boyfriend’s expectant eyes is enough for Seoho to sink right back in- too horny to care about anything anymore except the heavy weight in his mouth and the heat between his own legs. <br/><br/>It takes Seoho no time at all to have Geonhak writhing and moaning under him as he keeps his hips flush against the couch and drives him thoroughly out of his mind with his mouth alone. Seoho revels in the slow drag of his lips against Geonhak’s shaft, the little hitches in his breath that he’s gifted with. Geonhak grows bigger and bigger until his lips are stretched tight around him and his jaw aches. But Seoho hardly considers it a discomfort at all, determined to both make Geonhak suffer for being the most infuriatingly sweetest, caring, attentive, arrogant beautiful ass man he’s ever met- just after Youngjo, naturally- and also show his boyfriend he can do more than just let Geonhak have his way with him. Seoho craves Youngjo to know just how good he is at this, that Seoho too has it in himself to thoroughly debauch someone if he wants to, that he can easily unlock the secrets of anyone’s body and pleasure if only he’s given a chance.<br/><br/>It’s in times like this that Seoho is reminded of what a blessing Geonhak’s presence can be when he’s not having fun toying around with Seoho’s heart. Seoho can’t even begin to remember how much he’s missed this, just the easiness of giving in to the heady demands of his body without the heavy guilt of hurting Youngjo’s feelings looming in the back of his head. And how easy it can all be with someone like Geonhak, always so ready and willing to go along Seoho’s sudden, wanton whims.<br/><br/>“Isn’t he pretty?” Youngjo sighs, the slightest bit of lust seeping into him- Seoho has only recently learnt how to tell by the subtle flush of his cheeks, the liquidness of his gaze.<br/><br/>“<em>Yeah-”</em> Geonhak replies in nothing but a broken whisper as Seoho feels compelled to tongue all the way down in response to the little praise. “Gorgeous.”<br/><br/>It’s not until his boyfriend slowly stretches his hand to caress the top of his head fondly, gently pushing his bangs aside with an innocence that crashes with the obscenity of Seoho’s actions that Seoho finally, truly lets go. He leans into the touch tiredly and lets out a little moan into Geonhak, who in turn can do nothing but gasp and take it- too afraid to do anything else at risk of getting another disapproving little gesture from Youngjo. Geonhak appears to be completely at their mercy, and Seoho finally understands the delicious appeal of it- of those little games of alliance Youngjo and Geonhak pulled on him every now and then, those times when Seoho fell victim of their collective attention, almost as if he were a toy for their personal amusement. But now, Youngjo’s little smile of conspiracy is sent <em>his </em>way, and it’s Geonhak’s turn to be tortured in the best way. It’s all Seoho needs to forget about any childish, irrational need to prove himself to anyone and just enjoy. He relinquishes his hold on Geonhak with one of his hands to bring a palm between his own legs- the pressure alleviating only enough for him to focus again.<br/><br/>“Seoho-” Geonhak tries, breathless, flushed cheeks giving him a far more youthful, inexperienced appearance that Seoho has ever seen before. Tentative hands attempt to creep down towards Seoho- yet they’re promptly slapped away by his boyfriend, who starts taking his unofficial mediator role very seriously all of a sudden.<br/><br/>“Hands to yourself.” Youngjo warns, like the treasure that he is. He is enjoying himself enormously, Seoho thinks, mesmerized as he spots the rare smirk on his handsome face at the begging look Geonhak throws his way. Youngjo- bless his heart- doesn’t fall for the puppy eyes and lets go of Seoho’s hair to teasingly slide Geonhak’s shirt all the way to his chest, regardless of how the other fidgets and stutters in protest.<br/><br/>It’s a miracle Seoho doesn’t come right there and then.<br/><br/>The obscenely loud slick sounds of his own mouth, the unbearable heat that seems to unbearably concentrate in his head - along with the lack of air-  bring Seoho into a drowsy state of pure, undeniable pleasure. Everything feels good if he just lets it happen- especially the drag of Geonhak’s tip against the back of his throat that sends wave after wave of arousal throughout his increasingly pliant body. Revenge be damned. He’s almost ready to search for Geonhak’s hand and offer his mouth for him to do as he pleases, when the burning voice of Youngjo reaches him.<br/><br/>“Tell him <em>thank you.” </em>Seoho looks up- but it’s not him Youngjo is talking to, no.<br/><br/>His boyfriend is looking down at Geonhak, whose head is beautifully tilted back, Adam's apple bobbing and neck exposed for Youngjo’s irresistible hands to do as they wish with him, at his irrefutable mercy. It seems like it’s something Seoho shouldn’t be allowed to see, and yet, it only drives him into moving on, bobbing his head up and down with renewed efforts that have Geonhak’s stomach quivering from the effort of keeping still.<br/><br/>Geonhak deserves all the treatment he’s getting, no matter how tortuous it is, Seoho thinks with twisted satisfaction as he makes him bite his lip with a swirl of the tongue. And yet, when Youngjo suddenly slides his hand teasingly along his jaw, Seoho feels for him. He really does. Because no man could withstand the way his thumb caresses Geonhak’s bitten lip and the slight push of the digit past pliant lips- the irresistible way he slipped it into his mouth unnecessarily slowly, as if reminding Geonhak with every inch inside that in this little moment, he belongs to them, and particularly, to him.<br/><br/>Needless to say, Geonhak is done for.<br/><br/>He writhes beautifully and comes with Seoho’s earnest mouth still around him, one of his hands tugging up and down the base to help what he can’t reach, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he arches and utterly gives in, surrendering to them both.<br/><br/>Seoho rests his flushed cheek against the side of Geonhak’s clothed thigh and watches quietly as Youngjo pulls Geonhak up by the back of his head and steals his chance to plant a wanton, hungry kiss on his swollen lips. Red and bitten raw, one would have though it was  Geonhak and not Seoho the one who has just sucked someone off to complexion. Youngjo isn’t gentle with them either. He bites and tugs unapologetically regardless of how Geonhak gasps into his mouth, breath hitching in surprise as he holds himself up as well as he can in the awkward position Youngjo has put him.  With his forearms on Youngjo’s lap, head tilted back in an almost desperate display of need, he somehow manages not to move his leg so as to not rustle Seoho. And really, it’s such a dumb thing to feel so strongly about, but Seoho can’t help the flip of his beaten heart, still racing due to all the extertion.<br/><br/>It’s the first time Seoho has the opportunity to watch them kiss. In fact, the blatant longing and the greed that they have for each other are enough of a confirmation for Seoho to know they haven’t done this in years. It’s like being invited to the most private exchange, he feels, as he can do nothing but watch, beyond intrigued as his boyfriend kisses the breath out of another man. And what man Geonhak is, Seoho thinks, as his eyes travel down Geonhak’s chest and his quivering stomach and tucks him back into his boxers- if only to steal a little caress and see him flinch in oversensitivity.<br/><br/>Youngjo is so different to Geonhak than he is to Seoho- a little harsh, a little mean- it’s a side Seoho never would’ve thought he’d be able to see from someone Seoho believed soft and tender to a fault. But then again, Seoho understands the anger Geonhak’s beautiful face can provoke in anyone- and rather than jealousy, Seoho feels empathetic towards the bruising and hungry grip his boyfriend has on him. He’s slightly thankful too, because without Geonhak, Seoho never would have seen just how beautiful his boyfriend could look when he gave into his rare moments of lust.<br/><br/>“You still haven’t thanked him.” Youngjo whispers into the corner of Geonhak’s mouth when he decides to finally release him, a dark, demanding aura surrounding him that makes Seoho think that it would be impossible to deny him a thing. Not that any of them would.<br/><br/>It takes no time at all for Seoho to end up on Geonhak’s lap as he jerks him off with purpose, Youngjo talking sweet nothings into his ear and teasing him with soft not- kisses along his jaw that leave burning marks all over his skin and make him come embarrassingly quick, trembling into Geonhak’s arms with a soft breath of relief. <br/><br/>“Hope that was thankful enough.” Geonhak says hotly against his ear, after recovering all the cheekiness Seoho took hostage for a moment there, that infuriatingly low voice of his sending shivers down Seoho’s spine-  so much for revenge.<br/><br/>“I had no idea you were so good with that pretty mouth of yours.” Geonhak mumbles later on, droopy eyes feeding into his overall smug, content aura of satisfaction as he runs a finger up and down Seoho’s mouth. <br/><br/>“Shut up, ‘hak.” Seoho bites back without so much as a look, swatting the hand away only to silently bring it back to his head to get more hair strokes, right cheek squished on Geonhak’s cushion thigh as they wait for Youngjo to bring some snacks.<br/><br/>“Take the compliment, babe.” The younger scrunches up his nose, but compiles anyway while Geonhak takes advantage and steals one little cheek pinch before gently running his hands through Seoho’s hair.<br/><br/>“All of your compliments sound like insults.” Seoho rolls his eyes and turns his head to look up at Geonhak, stretching his arm to lazily thumb along the bite marks Youngjo left along his lips. “He kissed you.” The whisper fades in the air almost as an unvoiced thought, but the sudden, passing tension in Geonhak’s body speaks otherwise. </p><p>“Did that bother you?”</p><p>Seoho shakes his head slowly, his eyes never leaving Geonhak’s as he attempts to convey the honest, utter peace he feels at the moment, wondering if this is how Youngjo feels inside.<br/><br/>“No- I- It was kind of relieving, like you guys are finally fixing things.” Knots, knots, knots. “I was kind of-” Seoho trails off, gaze wandering across the room at the realization that, as always, Geonhak manages to coax things out of him that he’d much rather keep to himself. It’s pointless to try and keep quiet now, Seoho knows, and with a defeated sigh, he bravely finishes what Geonhak has probably already guessed anyways. “<em>Worried </em> .”<br/><br/>“That’s cute.”<br/><br/>“Asshole.” Seoho hits his chest with a frown, the lack of strength making it more of a tap than anything else, but built as Geonhak is- and post-orgasm as Seoho is- he doubts he’d be able to do any harm, even if he actually tried to.<br/><br/>“We’re okay, you know?” Geonhak whispers after a beat, hands as soft and gentle as his voice while the runs them through his sweaty hair, making him relax and give in no matter how unwilling. Geonhak tends to have that effect on him- they both did. Youngjo and him. “We’re just… taking it slow. <em> Rebuilding, </em> Youngjo calls it.”<br/><br/>Seoho snorts. “Sounds like-”<br/><br/>“Youngjo.” They both finish in unison, and the shared fondness for the man seems to make them bond to a level Seoho didn’t know anyone other than his boyfriend could reach.<br/><br/>It should feel way more terrifying than what it feels.<br/><br/>“He’ll give in soon.” Seoho reassures, as a way to dissipate the heavy tension that was created between the two. “Though… man, you must have really fucked up back in college, I never saw him get so mean to someone before.”<br/><br/>Geonhak cackles, a loud little high pitched laugh that annoys Seoho as much as it makes him smile. “No, he’s… he’s always been like that to me.” Geonhak replies with a little click of the tongue as soon as he quiets down, while Seoho takes the information in with a blatant face of intrigue.<br/><br/>“Youngjo giving tough love? Wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t just seen it.”<br/><br/>Geonhak shrugs. “Doesn’t bother me, it’s kinda hot.”<br/><br/>“Fuck <em> yes.” </em> Seoho wholehearted agreement steals the most boyish smile out of Geonhak, who fails at pursing his lips at him. The leisure strokes continue and make him sleepy.<br/><br/>“Mhm. I just never understood why.”<br/><br/>“Because you’re infuriating, Geonhak.” Youngjo’s voice reaches them all of a sudden, as he saunters in with two bowls of popcorn and that kind little smile that hardly anything seems to be able to erase. “I was mad that you treated me like precious china when we kissed every now and then in college so I had to come up with ways to show you that I wasn’t. I guess old habits die hard.” His boyfriend explains with carefree indifference as he sets the bowls down on the small table and sits comfortably on the armchair next to Geonhak. He wastes no time to pop a handful of popcorn into his mouth only to pass an arm around the Geonhak’s delectable shoulders, pressing a little apologetic kiss on the top of his semi-blond hair. “You two seriously need to learn to have <em> quiet </em> conversations if you don’t want me to listen.”<br/><br/>“You just have super hearing.” Seoho puffs out his cheeks and gets his scrunched nose pinched by his boyfriend, enticing a hearty laugh from Geonhak, who seems all too elated to be sandwiched between the two of them for the second time that night.<br/><br/>“If you’re worried you can just talk to me, you know- us. Both of us.”<br/><br/>“Ugh- no, thank you. I’ve had enough <em> conversations </em> this year to last me a lifetime.” Seoho replies as he swats Youngjo’s arm away and pulls theatrical gagging noises out of his throat. Geonhak is quick to reprimand him with unforgiving tickles all over his stomach that makes him squeal and squeeze in laughter.</p><p>Quietly, Youngjo watches, and his soft smile reaches his eyes.<br/><br/>…<br/><br/>Seoho falls asleep on the couch before fulfilling his punishment of cleaning the kitchen. But that’s okay, Youngjo thinks fondly as he half drags him to their bed, while Seoho mumbles sleepily but compiles nonetheless, like a child. He’s had one hell of a day, after all.<br/><br/>“Where’s ‘hak gonna sleep?” Seoho frowns with his eyes closed as Youngjo tucks him into the bed gently.<br/><br/>“In the studio.” Youngjo replies in a whisper and watches the displeased turn of Seoho’s mouth at his words.<br/><br/>“Mhm, need to get him a bed.” He slurs the words, but Youngjo still manages to catch them after so much time together.<br/><br/>“Okay, baby.” Youngjo indulges, chest filled with warm, healing affection that resembles the heat of a hug. He tiptoes his way out of the room only once he’s made sure Seoho’s peacefully asleep, and not without planting a gentle little kiss on the pout of his lips. Youngjo smiles all the way to the kitchen, where he finds Geonhak making a poor joke out of washing the dishes without making loud noises. He’s so tired, if Youngjo didn’t know better, he’d think Geonhak is drunk off his ass. The thought of it stirs memories of endless carefree nights and the loneliness Youngjo felt those young years of college where Geonhak’s company seemed to be like a bandaid for his soul- as well as the cause of a severe case of a broken heart.<br/><br/>But now that he’s grown and healed, Youngjo realizes that only the good remains, and Geonhak has once again become a source of warmth and comfort.<br/><br/>“You and Seoho seem to get along great lately.” Youngjo calls, startling Geonhak into turning the faucet off and sending him an affronted look of reproach for sneaking up on him like that.<br/><br/>“Ah- yeah. I think it might be the dance studio. We… sort of bonded over it.”<br/><br/>“By throwing paint at each other and making out against the painted walls?’’  Youngjo raises a perfect, defiant little eyebrow, unwilling to let go at that slight harmless cross of the line they pulled behind his back. Though not really, Youngjo never actually established that making out wasn’t within his set boundaries. But lately Youngjo has a knack for giving Geonhak a hard time, who’s all too cautious to play back as he used to once.<br/><br/>“In my honest defense-” The other begins with unusual solemnity, looking down and shifting his whole weight to his left leg. “Seoho gets absurdly kisseable sometimes.”<br/><br/>“Terrible excuse.” He is of course, very right, but Youngjo’s not about to give in so easily. Geonhak throws him a sleepy, charming smile and Youngjo almost feels bad for keeping him up.<br/><br/>“He’s not as fragile as you think, you know? Seoho, I mean… I don’t think this would have happened without him.”<br/><br/>Youngjo takes the words in with the kind investment of someone who’s willing to listen. And after so many years, even if Youngjo won’t admit it, he’s eager to drink every word that pours out of Geonhak’s mouth. “What?” He questions softly, even if he knows what the answer will be.<br/><br/>“Us.”<br/><br/>They fall into a telling silence of sorts that allow everything they feel simmering inside to settle down, allowing them time to get used to it again. Because for Youngjo, at least, the feelings for Geonhak have always been all too familiar.<br/><br/>“Don’t worry about them.” Youngjo says eventually, lazily motioning the dishes. “I’ll deal with them tomorrow.”<br/><br/>Geonhak sends the cramped sink a forlorn look that no unwashed cutlery warrants. “I’ll feel guilty if I don’t- '' He sighs heavily and then scratches the back of his head, avoiding Youngjo’s eyes- and not for the first time this evening. “For the record, I really am sorry about today, we didn’t mean to leave you out-”<br/><br/>“So you made out with my boyfriend. I make out with him all the time. Seems to me like you need to come here and kiss me and then we’ll call it even.” Youngjo rolls his eyes, a sassy little smirk making its way to his lips at Geonhak’s antics. He missed this. The flirting, the playfulness, the weird game of cat and mouse where no one knows who’s chasing who in the end, and they end up in circles, an endless, endless circle of pointless confusion and disappointment.<br/><br/>It’s about time they break it.<br/><br/>“I-” Geonhak- who would have jumped at the opportunity at any other given time in their history- seems to hesitate for a moment, the sudden request leaving him stunned before he finds the proper words to reply. “And what happens then?”</p><p>Youngjo sighs. They know each other too well for him to be able to read the subtext of the conversation.<br/><br/>“Listen, Geonhak.” He starts, determined for them to move on at last. “I’ve never blamed you for leaving after college- we both wanted different things and you took the opportunities life threw your way. I’m not delusional enough to think you left <em> me </em> , when I know how hard it was for both you and your family when you signed that damned contract-”<br/><br/>But Youngjo doesn’t get to finish.<br/><br/>The warmth of Geonhak earnest lips is the sweetest relief after years of a storm within Youngjo’s heart, scars that began to heal only when Seoho came along, yet never fully closed.  Until now.<br/><br/>... <em><br/></em> <em><br/></em> Later, after Youngjo has been thoroughly kissed against the counter, he will tug Geonhak into the room and insist the three of them can fit on the bed. Seoho will wake up despite their pointless efforts to keep quiet, and no matter his whined protests, he’ll happily fall asleep in between them both. Or, more or less.<br/><br/><em> “Geonhak?” </em> <em><br/></em><br/><em> “Mhm?” </em><br/><br/><em> “Thanks for coming when I called you.” </em> <em><br/></em> <em><br/></em> <em> “Thanks for not forgetting me after all this time.” </em> <em><br/></em> <em><br/></em> <em> “How could I? I’ve always loved you.” </em> <em><br/></em> <em><br/></em> <em> “Me too.” </em> <em><br/></em> <em><br/></em> <em> “ </em> God <em> , you guys are </em> so <em> corny-” </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>THANK YOU SO MUCH for sticking up with me, I know updates were I mess and I kept adding more and more chapters to this monstruosity but y'all are the sweetest. Special thank you to those friends that put up with my endless complaints about this fic for months (you kno who u are, ily).</p><p>Let me know what you thought down below! </p><p>As ALWAYS here's my cc <a href="https://curiouscat.me/eclipseoho">(eclipseoho)</a> .  I also have a twt with the same username if u wanna come chat w me &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>